i'm listening to the stranglers

LAST PERSON WHO.
Slept in your bed: me but i've slept in someone else's bed
Saw you cry: umm maybe colin
You shared a drink with: n/a
You went to the movies with: sara and aarean
You went to the mall with: dave dawson <3
Yelled at you: tom or colin
Sent you an email: apple
HAVE YOU EVER...
Said "I Love You" and meant it?: yes.
Gotten in a fight with your pet: yeah Kimba's a real toughie, and my fish Flava Flav?? Don't even get me started.
Commited Suicide: been pretty close
Cut yourself: nope...
BEEN TO.
California: of course silly
Hawaii: 3 times
Mexico: nope
China: no
Canada: no
HAVE YOU EVER:.
Danced naked: yeah like every single day of my life
Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the nextday: iono
Wish you were the opposite sex: only for cool clothes
Had an imaginary friend: yeah sort of.
Do you have a crush on someone: when do i not???
What book are you reading now: "The History of the World from Constantine to Constantinople" by Eusebius
WHATS YOUR....
Worst feeling in the world: being lonely
Future son's name: Ron Jeremy
Future daughter's name: Moonbeam
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no.
What's under your bed: shoes and paper and some cement blocks and a james dean poster
Favorite sport to watch: hockey
Siblings: yes.
Location: provo utah
College plans: i'm already there
Piercings/tattoos: the normal ones on the earlobes and one on my cartillage
EXTRA STUFF.
Do you drink: water and diet coke
Who are your best friends: britt, court, celeste, marissa, chris, eric, tom, holy crap i can't count all of them!!!
What are you most scared of: falling in love
What clothes do you sleep in: shorts and t-shirt..or none
Where do you want to get married: LDS temple
Who do you really hate: no one
Been in Love: yes, a couple times
Do you drive: like Dale Earnhardt
Do you have a job: no no no
Do you like being around people: mostly
Are you for world peace: uh huh
Are you a health freak: i'm healthy but not a freak
STUFF. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: no
Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yeah.
Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: umm sorta.
Want someone you don't have right now: yeah but we're pretty close
Are you lonely right now: rarely
Song that's stuck in your head a lot: "I'll Melt With You" by Modern English
Do you want to get married: yesh
Do you want kids: four-two adopted, two of my own
FAVORITE. Room in house: bathroom--hell if i know
Type(s) of music: jazz
Band/Group(s): right now sonic youth
Color: brown
Perfume or cologne: chanel coco mademoiselle
Month: april
Stone: dirt clod
Flower: i forget what it's called but it looks like a pinecone---helicona i think
IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU....
Cried: no.
Bought something: yeah a new printer which ima take back anyway
Gotten sick: only to my stomach
Sang: at the top of my lungs
Said "I love you": yes
Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes
Met someone: yes tyler he's so cute and jackie from texas
Missed someone: desperately
Hugged someone: yes
Kissed someone: only in my dreams

Gus the Mynah Bird

So uh...I'm listening to stereolab. rockin!

i have an infection in my mouth. it really hurts, ya see. i've been on a liquid diet for two days now maybe. it sucks. it won't get better even though i'm on antibiotics.

i'm going home two weeks from today for thanksgiving. yessss. i am so excited to see kimba. am i kidding? NO. i miss that pup like the dickens. whoa.

so school is really good. life is really good. everything is just really really good.

regan leaves next week on his mission. so does carl, but carl doesn't affect me as much since he lives in portland. but regan. well regan lives 15 minutes away in american fork and we are still a part of each other's lives. i am going to miss him insanely.

i feel bad since i never have anything to write. nothing worthwhile, anyway. remember last year when i would discourse forever about something? like love maybe, or friendship...

get this...eric, remember my best friend last year, eric? and remember that i was like freakin IN LOVE with him for awhile? well, last sunday we were hanging out, and he told me he was in love with me too! can you believe it? that whole time we were in love with each other but we were both too scared to do anything about it. that explains why he was so jealous when s-dawg came along. i always wondered why that was... i mean, wow. what a realization.

what else? well not much, i guess. i've decided to major in jazz. that's a new development. of course, i seem to change my major just about every two weeks, so we'll see how long this one lasts.

mainly, i'm just happy to be happy again, do you know? like i'm just grateful. that makes me happy i guess.

okay much love
<333
lisa.

Full Disclosure

So I am listening to fugazi. I haven't listened to them in hella days yo. like years. i guess i still dig 'em.

it's been raining practically nonstop for over a week now and i am totally feelin it. okay so at first i liked it because i hadn't seen rain since last fall, but then i didn't like it because i started feeling the grey skies drag. but then, then it went away for a day and i misssssssssssed it and now that it's back i'm awfully happy.

guess what i'm going to be for halloween! just guess! yay you got it! a geisha! i am going to the costume shop tomorrow to get makeup and then to the fabric store to get a red sash. i already have the kimono. yeah i'm way psyched!

this is just to say: i don't give a damn about the world series. it's great the sox are in it because i loooooooooove johnny damon--what a sexy beast!--, but that's the only reason why i like them. just to lay it out there...

so like....nothing is going down. i'm bored in provo. i'm thinking i will go to vegas next weekend to spice things up cos i'm seriously riding the wave of monotony. i'm such a talker though and probably won't go.

love of my life = matt hoiland, carl's bro. i mean what a musical genius! he can write any kind of song at the drop of a hat and has a great voice and rockin retro style and is really just a kool kat, just like carl.

i sent in my absentee ballot today. i felt so proud. teehee.

okay so i wish i had more to talk about but there's just really not much worth the time.

<3>

p.s. and my latest art piece was subconsciously reflective of how i feel about someone. it's a man and a woman in a cocoon. and see the thing is, now i'm thinking of soft grounding a leaf into a different plate and printing that on top of the cocoon plate so the leaf is almost acting like a veil, like it's hiding my feelings for this person, or maybe even preventing the relationship from developing, or something like that...you know what i mean? <3<3<3>

Hanging On A Star

The stinkiest girl I have ever smelled is sitting next to me right now. She hasn't washed her hair in at least two weeks, I'd say. I can't handle it. The smell is excruciating. I would move if there were other computers in this lab but unfortunately they're all taken. Tough it out, Lisa, you can do it.

So I really like this boy and he likes me. Yep. Maybe I'll tell more about it later.

But here's something funny. Me and this boy were just chillin last Friday, driving around and stuff, like 2:30 in the morning at this point, and all of the sudden we see a buffalo run out of the mountains right next to us! A buffalo man! It was so crazy. I freaked and we called the cops and they said, "Thanks. We've been looking for him all day..." How does a buffalo escape like that? weeeerd.

And now that girl's stench is so bad I can't handle it anymore so i'm bizzouncing.

<3

midnight train to georgia

actually utah, and i'm taking a train. that size was too big so i switched. i'm in cali right now. becky, the older sis, got married yesterday. it was really great. the reception was in our woodland backyard. tony's jazz combo played and they rocked. i sang summertime and lullaby of birdland with them. john was there and he told me he was awakened to the treasure in my throat. that is one of the biggest compliments i've ever received in my life. thanks jack passion.

so utah has been good. my classes are really happenin. international relations--i read the NYTimes everyday. then in history of creativity, well this class is just the bomb dot com because we learn about different cultures and inventions and how societies develop. then there's french. my teacher is hott--he looks like david bowie. of course there's new testament which is pretty good. i'm forgetting one. two! jazz lessons which are amazing. learning a new singing style is interesting and passion-infusing. heh heh. last but not least is my favorite class--printmaking. it's my new meaning for living.

also--regan got his mission call to puerto rico, and carl got his call to milan, italy. i am very proud of you boys!

now, my philosophical thought for the day. celeste and i were talking the other day about war, and especially iran. i finally realized why we have to have this war in iraq (which relates to iran because they are almost in war too), and that's because the people needed help and unfortunately, there are only two ways to give it to them. the first is letting them fade as a society with a tyrannical ruler, a la saddam hussein. so the people die under a horrible ruler. or we, the US, can come in and offer our support throught military action. sadly, people die with this course of action as well, and we don't see many short term results.

you see people, peace is a process. and as with many things, peace covers a wide spectrum, peace at one end and war at the opposite end. therefore, in order to achieve peace, one must have war.

maybe it's not this simple, but my conversation with celeste really opened my eyes and heart and helped me understand why we have 1,000 soldiers dead in iraq right now...

much love,
lisa

are you going to san francisco?

i'm in california right now. i'm supposed to be at byu. i had my first week of school this week and it was soooooooooo great. i am so happy to be back in provo. but now taht i'm in wc i miss provo...ironic

so i'm home because basically my parents missed me a bunch and they wanted me home for my sister's bridal showers. so i went to them and they were boring but i get to be with my dog and my fam and i went to sf tonight and ate at house of nanking best resto ever and went to chinatown and north beach and union square adn everywhere and it was just so sososos great and i went to treasure island too. i'm so tired now.

byu is great. i've met cool ppl and made cool friends and i love all my old friends. where i live is okay but ppl are snobby. school is so cool. my classes are tyte. i'm taking a printmaking class, we're doing intaglio, and a history of creativity class, international reltations, voice lessons, a bible class, french, and physical science. i am having so much fun already. i think this year is gonna be really good.

my roommates are tyte too.

i miss all my guy friends that are on missions.

provo time- 12:23 am and i am way tired. so nite nite my lovey doveys.

<3>

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one of us

my birthday's in one week. i'll be 19. all i want is an ipod, but i can't decide between the 20 and the 40 gig. please, if you have any input, feel free to share it.

one last sunday here. do i go to singles ward and kiss azn boi, or do i go to my parent's ward and see everyone? or do i squeeze them both in? or do i completely forgo my parent's ward? that is the way i'm leaning at this point...i don't really care to see anyone there...but i'm thinking i will go to two sacrament meetings, which for you non-LDS people is the most important meeting out of our three hours in church every sunday.

i am so excited to go back to provo. it's a joke. this year is going to be fun i think, and i'm excited to start it up.

saw celeste last night for the first time...she just got back from europe and i surprised her at plearn and brought her flowers. her aunts are tyte.

weirdest of all--i saw my old friend alex last night for the first time since the week i got home. it was trippy. my heart stopped beating when i saw him, like i'd been hit in the side of the head with a board but remained conscious. it's crazy how people mean so much to you at one point and vice versa but a month later you don't even give a damn. i mean really...that was probably the last time i'll ever see him. walnut creek is no home to me and i don't plan on coming back unless i really need to make money next summer--otherwise i'm off to europe to be poor and love living.

i've felt really down lately. down on myself for how i look, and what i say, and how i act, just everything. my hair is kinda purple. i really like it. but other than that it's awful. everything's awful.

my mom is putting unnecessary pressure on me to pick a birthday cake/pie/dessert, since i never get cake, but she just won't leave me alone about it. and really, it's no big deal. i like fruit, i like pie, i don't eat chocolate cake cos i think it's kinda gross. simple guidelines. pick yourself!

my bridesmaid dress came and it's really pretty. i bought new shoes but i don't like them. i bought a skirt and right after i bought it it went on sale. so i'm taking it back tomorrow.

i hate being so damn indecisive. it's my biggest flaw.

xoxo lisa

provo, here we come.

Life In A Glass House

I leave for school really soon. Like two weeks from this Thursday or something like that. We haven't decided. But it's really crazy. This was a really fast four months for the most part, which is good.

Last night I went to Brandon's. Normally I don't like seeing all those kids like Tanya Maureen Stiv Marlon etc. but last night it was actually really fun. Sean Megley was there and he still didn't remember my name. Chris Mabry was there and he wondered if I remembered him from high school (I did) and he told me I looked really good. I'm not sure if I can count that as a compliment when it comes from him. Teddybear (stiv) was really drunk and kept trying to freak with me, so I just told him he's hot cos he is. Then Danielle kept looking at me funny for like an hour or two (for those of you who don't know, Danielle is Sloan's "first" as she put it), and then she went and called someone and came back and said, "you went out with sloan huh?" and i said "yup" and then she told me how big of an asshole he was to her and to me and that i shouldn't worry about him because he's an asshole to all his girlfriend's eventually and an even bigger one after. i agreed halfheartedly. everyone has their problems and his unfortunately come out in relationships. and frankly i can tell he hurt her way worse than he hurt me since she actually talked to me about it; i am grateful for the time i had with him because i really learned what an ideal relationship is til all the bad stuff started going down...and also i am pretty much over it. it still hurts because i think it will hurt until i fall in love like that again, but in the meantime i'm having fun and meeting boys and making friends and filling up the hole with great things like catching frogs and taking walks and singing songs...not that that stuff fills the hole of a broken heart but it helps ease the mind a little bit (this was the longest run-on sentence ever)...

needless to say, i will be glad to get back to provo and leave all this junk behind me. it was really weird that she talked to me and it just made me start thinking about that stuff again and i've really been a good girl and not thought about it deeply for a long time. it's just a pity that he destroys so many girls like this. i hope he actually sits down sometime and thinks about the sadness and pain he's brought to people's lives. i mean, i'm lucky i'm a strong kid and can pull myself out, but others aren't so lucky.

but i'm done with this entry now i think. i've written a whole lot about nothing and i just don't like it.

<3<3<3>

lisa.

The Moon

So.

Utah was a blast. I was really scurred to go just because I still hold some ill feelings with second semester, but my visit was great. I was only there for two days anyway... So the first day I just shopped all day--first in Park City and then Trolley Square and then Gateway. I got some great stuff at Anthropologie. That night Regan came up from AF and we played and it was really really fun. We always have fun.

Next day I went to Provo. Met up with Joe on campus and chilled for a bit, then to lunch with Scott, then to the Wilk to meet up with me mum so of course I saw Eddie because when is he not in the Wilk so we talked and I was hardly even nervous like normal and it was fun and he's still as dreamy as before...knew it. I have a random and embarrassing story about him and my little sister. But I don't wanna share it.

So it was a whirlwind trip but it was a blast and I'm glad I went and glad I had so much fun.

And I finally got a place to live...University Avenue Condos. Very nice place, Andrea and the girls living there, plus Chad my love. So it'll be grrrrrrrrrrr8.

Iono what else to say except I looked hottt at church today and AZN boi wasn't even there and Tom and Scott and their little friend Kristy went to the Lafayette Ward today and they didn't even tell me...Not that I care because I have more fun at the Singles Ward, but I guess I'm just sad that we're not really friends even though we're supposed to be??? I'm not sure. Perhaps I feel left out because they're hanging out with someone younger than me if ya can believe it, but most of all I think I really don't care...She has just said things to me about BYU Idaho and how it's a lame school, and although I really hold no allegiance to it, the things she's said are extremely rude and pretentious and immature, just things like, "I couldn't be friends with someone from BYU Idaho since I'm so much smarter than them since I got accepted into BYU and they didn't." THE NERVE! That's such a selfish and egotistical thing to say! Of course I'm also in the wrong for not defending it, but at least I didn't say that stuff in the first place.

I've almost completely stopped cussing. I'm glad. Glad glad glad.

This is the dumbest entry EVER.

I started painting again! I think I've already talked about this. But it's so therapeutic and it's great to have a brush in my hand again and I really like my work so far.

Plus, today is the most beautiful day ever. It's sunny and the breeze is blowing and it's just beauteeful. I love it.

And I love you ;)

Love, most sincerely,

Lisa Rue

Like Foxes Through Fences

Do you ever come home at night feeling really stupid? Like maybe you did something, or didn't do something...maybe you said something that sounded super funny in your head but ended up being really rude, or maybe you kept saying you were going to talk to someone you thought was cute but never actually ended up talking to that person...

If you're anything like me you know what I'm talking about. For me it's the boy at church that I just can't seem to talk to, even though I walk by him alone four times each Sunday, or maybe you just love your best guy friend so much that the only way you know how to show him is by being mean to him and then you just fight all the time because maybe you both feel the same way or maybe you both really do hate each other...

I know there's something I can do about it. But it just hurts when I find out they all went to FHE and didn't call me even though I coulda called them first, or even when Azn boy was there they didn't call either...I mean, they know I like him even though I say I'm over him all the time...I don't really like him...

I end up acting like a big dumb baby all the time. I know where I stand on very few issues and my head feels like a rubix cube. I love him, I don't love him, I hate you, I don't hate you, we have nothing in common, we have everything in common, I'm going to talk to azn boi, I'm over azn boi...you see what i mean now huh...

Two things are for sure. I miss my friends is the first one, all of them, even the ones here in Walnut Creek since we never call each other anymore, and number two, I am talking to him this Sunday because it's not going to kill me and I'm not going to catch some horrible disease and I really can't make that bigga fool outta myself and even if I do which actually is possible knowing me I will just laugh it off like I always do because that's the type of girl I am, the I-don't-give-a-damn-what-anyone-thinks-of-me-as-long-as-I'm-happy girl. That's who I like.

It's funny that I'm only really happy like how I used to be before Sloan when I'm with him, that good ol' friend of mine, that one I fight with all the time allthetimeneverendingfightsandyellingandlove...
xoxo L

summer song

most of you don't know this, but my favourite colour is brown.
 
most of you do know this, and my most favorite person in the whole wide world is jorje buissons. j/k. most of ya'll prob don't know what that means anyway.
 
i am going to utah this week. can you believe it? i'm going just to go. it's soooooo dumb. but i guess i'm excited to see my friends who are there right now.
 
i have to go to work soon. i really don't wanna.
 
one month til i go back to school. it's crazy.
 
i made a pact with myself that i would talk to azn boi at church yesterday, and then i didn't. i had a good reason. maybe i'll tell ya later. all i know is that i don't care anymore because four weeks is not good enough to have a relationship in. short and sweet hurts like helllllllllllllllllllllll.
 
my blog entries are really dumb, aren't they?
 
i stopped drinking caffeine. sort of. i just had a coke. but i'm down to like, one or two a day, except today i might have to make it three because i haven't been sleeping at all lately.
 
my favorite song ever is called "outta reach" and it's by the band she. it's an amazing song. everyone dl it or listen to it somehow.
 
i'm going to utah!!
 
xoxo lisaloolaaleee............................mom is gone!! i miss her though...
 
and oh yeah. i got up late on saturday, like ten am, to find that my dog had been stolen! not really, she went to boot camp again, but i dint get to say goodbye and now i really really miss her. <3>

i'll stop the world i'll melt with you damnit

i can't stop won't stop don't stop the beat i c-c-c-can't control my feet....i can't stop cussin. little sissy keeps giving me the lectures bless her stinkin heart.

dad, kimba, rob, mike, kt going camping tomorrow yay! mom and me home alone. how will it go?! no one knows...it might be boring. and austin's going too.

last night i went to sf and it was sooooo fun. went to the pier and talked to jeffy, saw a dumb ol wannabe bushman (hella lame) then to chinatown and union square and through pacific heights and gg park and everywhere! it was sooooooo fun. got good stuff at chinatown asian wholesale liquidation flea market yayayayayy!

saw sloany pie pie at the rasputin's...no big deal except that i've avoided that place since i got back from school (yesterday was my first time since i've been back) and of course he's walking in as i'm walking out. he has a beard. i really like it. the irony's killing me.

three new cd's tonite..all microphones albums -- they are so chill.

i'm not making sense yo!

britt called today! and michelle! it was a wonderful day for BYU. and i got a letter from forest! yesssssssssssssssssssss

aight i'm out. it's only 11:34 but i'm so tired and i wanna go to fairfield tomorrow and see my darling michella bella.

btw i'm still in love with my asian boi michael <3<3<3 but that never changes. i obsess faster than you can say calvin klein and before you even realize i have a new obsession i'm over it. no complaints. it keeps me steady.....

love love love,
lisa

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:	Country lover
Your Favorite Band/Song	Le Tigre - Deceptacon
You Like To Read:	The backs of cereal boxes
You Firmly Believe In:	Nose-picking
Everyone Thinks You Are:	OMG WAY HOTT LOLZ
You Were Conceived:	Next to a fireplace
You Will Marry:	A homeless man/woman
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

solitaire

so my cousin's here from oregon. austin, age 14. what a whippersnapper. he's one of the coolest, funniest kids i've ever met.

me--working my arse off, as usual. spent a great day in the city yesterday for hannah's birthday. so much fun.

bad episode with the dog today....i can't stand her anymore.

going back to school in a month and a half or so. still have no place to live. still don't have my schedule figured out. damn it i just don't care, although i am getting more excited to go back and have a great year like i promised myself. i miss my friends. especially my oregon friends. <3

put bubbles in the il fornaio fountain for the first (and last) time last night with sam. soooooo fun.

went to the singles ward today for church--first time. fell in love with the only asian there. named michael. had on an amazing sweater vest.

free slurpees at 7-11 today so i'm out.......<3<3<3<3 lisa

I Ran (So Far Away)

Let's start with g-ma. she's coming home this week and she's really excited. i don't blame her. she's called john muir home for almost two months now, and frankly, i'm sick of the smell and the temperature in there. i'm excited for her.

next. went the sd/oc for the weekend. talk about a blast. here is the short version of a very long two-day trip. saturday, got to sd around 10:15 am. andrea picked me up. went to pancake house in poway with blake her bro and brittany. then to del mar to her family's house for like twenty minutes. then downtown sd for shopping and fun fun fun. san diego temple came next. amazing ice castle. y'all gotta see it. then was islands for dinner. back to del mar for half an hour or so as andrea put the final touches on forest's present. it's about 9:30 by this time. we decide to go up to brea even though we had no place to stay. ended up crashing on forest's floor in 638 s. poplar. mike was there, nick was there, lots of people were there. next morning, sunday. got up and got ready for church. cameron arrived. got to church. forest's talk was the bomb dot com. back to forest's for the big party. kicked it till about 4 with him and his fam and friends. phew. next was irvine with john garlock and 'rents and bob. then to the conneroy's seany's house for dinner. his mom's a superstar. said grace at the end of a stimulating dinner conversation. kicked it there til ten or so. baseball highlights with ted and jake. phew. then the hour and a half drive back to del mar. almost midnight now. hit the sack. then this morning...up at 7:30 to catch my 9:30 flight. boarded without a hitch.

it was the best weekend ever.

andrea's middle name isn't grace. she's doesn't even have one.

i don't have anything meaningful to say except that i love you guys and i love life damnit and i had a blast in brea which was a little disappointing i must admit but wonderful nevertheless. adam anthony is beautiful.

right now.......so tired i'm going to pass out. looked at cars tonite at the dub c toyota lot and the salesman was a dreamboat. i wanted to kiss his sweet, soft lips. but def not with mom and dad standing by.

i've been so sleep deprived these past few nights and i'm still going strong. i'm so hard.

xoxo lisa

p.s. okay normally i like weird food, but just as a warning, never ever eat at chow in lafayette because it is the worst restaurant i've ever been to after young's cafe in chinatown. PEACE.

have i told ya have i told ya

yo yo. i'm excited because i'm going to san diego/brea this weekend to see the peeps. it's gonna be tyyyyte.

nothing much is going on in l-town. i am working as usual, making the moolah. i got my hair cut and dyed a few weeks ago, but i'm really not liking it right now. it's being very disagreeable, so much so i want to chop it all off.

i think i may have finally found a place to live at school. it's this little yellow house near campus. i'd have three other roommates. it sounds like fun i think.

then comes classes. i still don't really know what i'm going to take, but i really want to take intro to women's studies so i can meet the weird chicks at BYU and maybe make some normal norcal friends. no offense ladies.

life is just good for the most part and i'm happy.

oh btw, i talked to perry last week! he's doing well but now he's in washington. he was in the airport in slc when he called me. so yeah. i miss him but he's better and getting help and that's what matters most.

much love,
miss lisa marie. xoxoxoxo

have you ever just sat and listened to a vacuum? like really listened. have you ever noticed the different hisses and whistles, and how it sputters like something's stuck, and how sometimes it's a gentle humming that could lull even the most discontented baby to sleep? it's just a barrage of white noise. almost like a shower. people sing to the vacuum just like they sing to the shower.

or do you ever remember memories that you never had at all? i'm explaining this poorly. what i mean is like, you envision yourself doing something, and it's a really great and fun time, but then you remember you're just making it up? i just did that. i'm listening to a really great mason jennings song, "beautiful man," and i could've sworn i was driving down some highway with someone singing that song with happy little smiles on our faces. but that one's not real.

i wish i were in chicago with eric and adam right now. they're poor but they're having so much fun. i mean that's really the life.

so this has been crazy lately.

i've had the stomach flu all weekend, which means my head's been in a toilet and i've slept for almost two days straight. it's been nice i guess. the fever's killing me though, and the strict diet of gatorade and soda crackers is really wearing on me.

ugh. i am tired of being home. like really.

so andrew and i went and saw mister loveless on friday. they were really good. but it was funny because obviously their whole crowd is las lomas people, and they were coming up to us asking us where they knew us from. it was weird. and sean megley didn't even remember my name and we sat next to each other in bremer's class all year last year. but sean megley, bless his heart...i'm not trippin.

why can't we all just be carefree again?

XOXO lisa

Rejoicing in the Hands

Well, we moved g-ma out of the hospital yesterday to an assissted living place, just for a couple days so she could have her round-the-clock care, get used to walking again, take care of herself...

but i just got back from visiting her there and she's not doing so hot. paralysis in her right side. her speech is slurred and she's noticeably weak and pale. seems she's had a stroke. and the idiots there just took her vital signs and said nothing was wrong. what losers. i have no medical training whatsoever and i could tell there was something really wrong with her. she wasn't the same, wasn't happy ol' gramma doing her thang, happy to be away from the awful noises of John Muir.

the ambulance is on its way to her now and she'll be at JM within the hour.

kids, she's the only thing on my mind right now, so sorry if i'm a bit distant. it's hard not being able to do anything.

so frankly the story about how my dad was going to buy me a car yesterday if i hadn't been such a pain in the arse doesn't matter right now.

good luck on finals everyone.

why can't i be you

mmhmm i <3 u robert smith, you little fatling.

santa cruz yesterday = bomb dot com. i'd write more about it but it's just not worth it. it's impossible to immortalize such a great day in words.

camping this weekend...hella tyte yo! got sooooo sunburned, blisters all over the feet cos i wore VANS (i am SUCH an idiot!!) but it was so so so so fun. total blast.

gramma is doing better...sort of. still in the hospital. she just wants to go home so badly and i hate telling her "soon g-ma soon" when it could be a month before she gets out for all i know. i just love her so much. she has been such a strength to me my whole life, and the only reason why she's not quitting now is because she wants to be around for her grandkids. heck...i can't talk about this anymore. i get worked up and emotional and it's just not worth it when i have ab no control over it anyway.

my jeep is on its way to las vegas right now. daddy decided today that he would take that car to becky since hers is such a piece and get me a new one. who knows when the hell that's going to be. and in the meantime i have to drive, you guessed it, the ghetto-ass suburban. i am TOTALLY NOT EXCITED and it's covered in dog hair. oh and get this. i told my dad that becky should get the new car for now because she's never had the new car, and then i vacuum the jeep for her before my dad leaves with it, and then becky calls me complaining about how i'm getting the new car when I WANTED HER TO HAVE IT!!! hello captain spaz.

anyway i'm out because it's back to work all day tomorrow 7 to 1:30 then 2 to 6. then test driving mini coops because i want one sooooooo bad but prob an accord or camry! then ikea for the phat sale?? maybe...i HOPE so.

xoxo lisa

p.s. life is so great. phone booth boy is hott, and yesterday in sc i saw a guy that looked like perry in ten years. righteous.
p.p.s. i am really really tired and i love tyler nelson my sweetiepoo butterbiscuit arkarkark <333333

apologizing

so....life has been very very busy.

working all day. getting home and going out with friends or crashing completely.
life is intense.

grandma's doing, well, not well. she took a turn for the worse today. that's all i really want to say about it. i kid myself into thinking i'm okay with it, but she is the last person i want to see go right now.

tyler called the other night as i was going to bed. he's going to vegas in a few weeks to see the beastie boys $2 Bill. hella tyte. i'm not huge beastie boyz fan or nuthin, but they'd be a blast to see. i love how he decides to start calling me all the time when i don't live in utah. so perfect.

okay so work was weird these past couple days. first i keep getting hit on at my morning job, like these men will drive by and say, "Finally! A beautiful woman to ease my eyes" or stupid shiznit like that. one of them actually said in a moment of pure idiocracy, "I'm captivated by your beauty." But, you know, I just smile my little half smile and look at them out of the corner of my eye and they tip me, so what if i'm a whore i don't care i'm making money babeh.

i am so out of it right now. i'm sure there's other stuff i wanted to say but i can't think straight.

i'm going camping this weekend...maybe...if i feel like to tomorrow. we'll see.

i hate my dog. she destroyed all my childhood stuffed animals. ima kill 'er.

thanks for kicking my hometeam's ass sox. i love yas <3<3<3<3 johnny damon let's run away together forever and love each other in the outfield arkarkark

and i'm pissed because my dad keeps taking my car to run stupid errands, and using my gas which is not cheap i might add, and bringing my fatty dog that i love so much with him so now my poor jeep smells like dog and has her fur all over it.

could life get worse?

(ummm babycakes you're being a real jackass to me right now and you won't even tell me why)

Another Lonely Day

Today was a weird day. Woke up still really sick so I called in sick to work but had to go in for a few hours anyway. That sucked. But I got to go home and lay around, so that rocked.

Then I went to the florist and worked. That was good because I made my first tips ever...six dollars total. Won't buy me much, but any tip is appreciated.

Supposed to get off at six, didn't get off til seven thirty. Not bummed because time flew by.

Got home. My grandma, my nice grandma, the one that winks at you and sparkles her eyes instead of saying "Hello" or "I love you," the one that gives you Nillas in a ziplock bag with one for the road, the one who wrapped your presents so tightly and perfectly at holidays you didn't want to open them even though you knew something so magical and marvelous was just under that millimeter's width of paper...that grandma...went into the hospital today. She might have stomach cancer. She might die.

My grandpa died four years ago this September, and Grandma's been telling her friends that she would live for four years after his death and that was it. Four years is four months away.

So I'm trying not to get down about it, because after all, she's lived one unbeatable life. But she is my grandma, and she loves me and I love her, and talking to her and visiting with her last Thursday, bringing her roses, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Not because she's boring or because I don't like being with her. Because she could hardly form a sentence, and she's so thin her skin seems transparent. Because she doesn't eat and can't walk and is too weak to get up. Because that gem in her eye is fainter than I've ever seen it, and I'm just not ready to see my grandma go.

But at least she'd be happy, you know?

I Only Have Eyes For You

Today was a good day, I guess.

I've been really sick so I slept in late, woke up late and spent my day in bed watching the '80s movie marathon on AMC. "Satisfaction," "Lucas," "The Breakfast Club," and "Sixteen Candles." So all in all it was a very lazy day, but I haven't had one of those in a long time. I deserved it.

Work is taking its toll already. I'm working ten and a half hours almost every day. Six and a half with the parking and four or more with the florist. So the parking job rocked at first because I could just read all day, but I'm growing bored of it. Two more weeks, sure, but I really don't think I can make it. Plus it starts at 7 freakin' AM every morning, and seeing as how I could barely make it to 2 PM class on time at school, 7 AM is quite the crisis. Now the florist--best job ever. Mary Fu came in and applied the other day and barely even talked to me, not that I give a darn but really Mary, you were rude.

Tyler, let's run away together right now. I am just so in love with you sometimes. I have never met anyone I can sing Frank Sinatra with in class, in the car, and on the phone. You are just too much for me to handle I love you so much.

I miss you Richard Perry.

Last but not least, Pipkin called me tonight and for those of you who don't know Pip which is most of you, he is the sweetest, kindest, cuddliest old bear on the planet and i love him and miss him dearly. he is a friend from school and i could just be happy with him and his happy little chuckle forever.

paaaaaace out lovers.

xoxo LLLLIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you can dance if you want toooooooooooo

i just listened to the worst cover ever thank you.....melvins covering smells like teen spirit. hollah--please, the melvins are a semi-respectable grunge band and here they are making fools of themselves covering one of the most uncoverable songs of all time. BiG mIsTaKe.

i wanna go for a walk on my favorite huck finn trail. i will take you all sometime on a glorious walk through tilden park on the best trail ever. it is full of surprises like chocolate wood and rare flowers of grandeur and beautiful green leaves. teehee.

let me take a minute to brag about how much money i made in one week. 600 dollars. yep, that's right. in one week i made 600 dollars. i really can't tell you how i did it--it was very very lucky--but that's about one-eighth of the money i need for skool next year.

have i mentioned i still don't have a place to live next year? do i wanna go back to the pro? no, no, i don't. that's the hard part. i am so wishwashy on that one. don't wanna go back, don't wanna stay here, don't wanna do anything really 'cept lay on the beach and get a sunburn and tell kate the roommate that i miss her and walk barefoot through the street singing songs and dancing to men at work in my head.

i am starting work tomorrow at the parking place. as far as i know i'm getting paid 8 lame dollars an hour (what the junk yo?!) so frankly that job won't be lasting too long unless they supply a little mo' cash money.

i watched better off dead yesterday. lisa marie cusack. lisa ruefenacht cusack. lisa cusack. i don't like it. i love john cusack. i knew a guy at school (scott) from oregon who looked exactly like john cusack, so of course i crushed on him all year.

i need something to obsess over for a while. obsessing over a guy is out because there are no boyz i like here, bummer, except for my boy chris but that could get a little weird considering our parents are good friends and we are good friends.......none of that. suggestions are welcome peeps.

and a word to the wise--christina i shoulda come to santa cruz last night even though i was so wiped out...it woulda been "good times" or "a ball" or "a night to remember" or "a memory that lasted lifetimes."

this entry is really fake.

Break Me Gently

Name: Lisa Ruefenacht
Favorite color: brown
Favorite city: Frisco
Favorite food: tofu pad si iu
Favorite video game: TMNT
Favorite band: currently manitoba, tomorrow the doves, thursday the jasmine minks
Favorite pasttime: taking walks with friends
Favorite memory: ------- don't wanna talk about it, it hurts too much yo
Favorite season: indifferent but i hate snow

Have I mentioned i might work in sf? way excited. too excited.

tyler called tonight, just to talk.

he left a voice mail because i was downstairs and didn't hear my phone.

i didn't call back.

he is a funny guy.

tyler!

bedtime for me. i am sleepy.

<3

bless your heart perry richard. i miss you.

Blue Monday

Today was a Blue Monday, and very boring.

I am very sick of being here. Three weeks (almost) and I am not doing well.

Perry is gone and he took half my sanity with him. Phew.

I worked as a driver for Lafayette Florist over the weekend and I got really lost on one of my deliveries and ended up meeting the Purple People. THE PURPLE PEOPLE!!! I was so freaked out. They have a little security shack at the front of their house and one of the purple people is always inside it with their airsoft gun ready to attack any intruders. Luckily, they took pity on me and helped me rather than barrage me with pellets. But really, it was one of the freakiest experiences of my life. PURPLE PEOPLE! URBAN LEGENDS! SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!

I love dancing in the car.

I am so excited. I am still homeless for next year at BYU. That would just be tyte if I lived on the street.

Becky is getting married. September 25th. Whoa. I am a bridesmaid and we are wearing celadon dresses. They're pretty cute actually. Celadon is a pale green color. Our flowers will be light pink. See, these colors actually go well with me.

South Beach diet sucks yo, even though you get to eat cheese and I love cheese. And you eat healthy food and it makes you feel good and not so lazy. Mozarella, swiss, camembert, brie, wine goat cheese, gouda, dood i just found some of kimba's hair on my keyboard. that thing is psycho man.

alright alright. i believe in a thing called love. GUITAR!

xoxo lisa

You're So Electronic

Yeah! GO MISTER LOVELESS!! xoxo to robbie

today was a great day.

perry got sent away last night. i miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. my heart just ached all day, but it was a great day still because i went to work and got some great jobs (i will tell you about them in a sec) and saw the stills with celeste at raspy's in berkeley for fun (i don't really like them that much, you see, but it was free so why not?). my heart just aches a lot for perry but it was nice to be busy and forget about it a little bit. a little bit. just a little bit. i miss him like crazy yo.

my jobs! first job: valet in oakland. yeeeah. just random enough i can handle it, my mom says. my interview is tomorrow in oakland. i'm psyched. job number two: data entry for this marketing company in SF. 12 dollars an hour. temporary position, only for the rest of the week, but dood. 12 an hour?! i will be rolling. job number three: house sitting next weekend. that will be a couple hundred i'm sure. whoa. like life is really really awesome right now.

the highlights? nick is coming to visit me!! other highlights: my parents think i do drugs! hahaha!! another highlight: becky found a wedding dress today. i'm sure it is beautiful.

there were a lot of stupid people at coachella. there was this one really really stupid girl wearing pixie wings and a tutu, probably for the pixies, but dang she was LAME. LAAAAAAAAAAME. there were other stupid people too; read yesterday's entry for a bit of it.

so okay. i am going to go to bed soon, i hope, after i read my book a little bit more. DaVe EgGeRs is AWESOME.

xoxo lisa.

p.s. i am lucky. just really lucky to be this happy right now.

You Make It Easy

Alright. I am so so tired, but I need to kick out this blog entry with a short rundown of Coachella. I'm afraid I'll forget.

Best bands I saw: The Cure, Broken Social Scene, AIR---The Cure for obvious reasons. They played over two hours. "Pictures of You," my personal fav, The Lovecats, Just Like Heaven, Love Song, Fascination Street, Boys Dont Cry, Why Cant I Be You, okay okay so i cant even name all the song because they were just that good. BSS--I cried. No joke. One of the guitarists proposed to his gf during the set. Really cute. They were just really good. Full of energy, full of love. Everyone was dancing, crying, loving. Loved it. Love them. AIR---I got the last AIR shirt! This guy next to me was really nice and let me have it instead of buying it himself. THANKS I LOVE YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! Kelly Watch the Stars, Venus, Cherry Blossom Girl, Sexy Boy, etc etc. They had a nice even blend from all their albums I'd say.

Biggest letdown: The Pixies. Kim Deal was having the time of her life up there, but Frank Black looked like it was the least important thing to him on earth at that moment. It was really tough to watch. I mean, they sounded great, of course, but they were so boring! SO BORING! The Pixies! They're legends for crying out loud! I almost hate saying it, but i didn't even mind leaving their set early to watch the rapture. they were just that boring.

Okay, I'm really sick of writing about this.

Bands I saw that were GOOD(and I think i'll leave it at that. if you have any questions about specifics, just ask me):
- Radiohead
- the Sounds
- the Rapture
- Kraftwerk
- Junior Senior
- Broken Social Scene
- the Cure
- AIR
- Belle and Sebastian
- !!!
Bands that were okay
- the Thrills
- the Stills
- Trail of the Dead
- the Pixies
- Muse
- Section Quartet (really boring)
Bands that were awful
- Electric Six
- Thursday
- Flaming Lips
- Death Cab for Cutie
- Howie Day
- DIOS
- Sahara Hotnights
- Phantom Planet

And so many funny things too! Haha! Elephant girl with the favorite band Elefant, high five boy, the Whale Woman, etc., etc. Man, good times.

Wow. Something major just happened. Perry got sent away again. Right after Coachella. At least we got to go, at least we had such a great time. He just called from the hotel. He's going to be okay, God bless him.

Now I'm really out. Going to bed. Rather, I'm going to lay in bed sobbing, crying, thinking. I always cry more when I'm tired.

Closing Time

I opened this window thinking I'd write something really insightful and meaningful, but really. The only thing I have to say is I am happy. Genuinely happy. For the first time in a very very very long long time.

I've fought with my parents so much this week. We just seem to fight all the time. It's crazy. But tonight I realized life's just too short to fight all the time. They could die tomorrow, for all I know.

My parents hate one of my best friends. I don't care. Life's too short to care about that. My ditching this best friend could possibly send them into a spiral of depression or suicide. So that's drastic, but really, nothing is too far-fetched these days. Life's too short to let others destroy your love for friends, family, strangers, anyone.

I went to Santa Cruz today and had the best day I've had in a long time. I saw my friends. I breathed the fresh air. I had a great day and helped other people have a great day too. I helped a best friend and his mom clear up some issues.

I talked to an old friend about life. He really made me realize that life is just too short. Too short to let my parents bother me, too short to let love consume me, too short to let unresolved things stay unresolved...

I closed a chapter of my life tonight.

I haven't felt this good in a long time.

BYU...four months. We're going to make it a great year.

Coachella...two days. Nick my love, I will see you there.

Hahahaha. No joke. I am laughing out loud for no reason. Right now.

I love you.

Love,
Lisa.

As Time Goes By

Yeeah. Walnut Creek. Yay. Not so much. I feel really awkward here. Alex and I had burritos on Friday; that was fun. That night I went to a recital for Emily and we went to Fenton's after and kicked it in Berkeley for a bit. That was fun too. Yesterday I went to SF with the fam. Fort Point, Golden Gate, House of Nanking for the best Chinese food in the world, and imagine my surprise when Mr. Sean Conroy calls and says he's in SF. Crazy. So we met up and went to Haight. I haven't been there since winter break so it was tyte. So many people there though. It was intense. So we got lost on the Muni too. Well, not really lost, but Sean wanted to take the J back to Powell instead of the N, so we did, and then we realized the J wasn't going back to Powell when we finally got to the end of the line and the conductor guy told us we had to get off..umm yeah. It was an adventure though.

Sean got a white Members Only jacket with a gun on it at The Wasteland!!! Wow!!! Very styling. Snazzy. OuT oF cOnTrOl!!!!

Got home from SF around 9:30, then Celeste my darling called. So I got in a HUGE fight with my parents, once again, over whether I could go out. You see, my room was covered in all my clothes that I brought home because I just decided to dump out my ten suitcases on the floor so I could at least get the suitcases out of the way. Good idea, yeah? No. I've been wading through a sea of clothes for the past 3 days. They told me I could go out again if I got the clothes hung up because I promised them that morning that I would before the day was over, so I frantically run through the house looking for hangers. I used all the ones I found and told my parents I could do no more. My dad just looked at me and said, "Get your room clean," even when I'd done all I could. What the junk?! Anyway, we went out a little bit later, Mel's (yay!) and then Perry called so we went over to his house and kicked it for a bit with he and Rob. Then we decided to find a party so we went to the pub, but the band was so bad we left. Then I called a Sean but the party he was at was a birthday party so that sucked. The night was a bit of a bust, but we all still had fun.

And today. I woke up early this morning with an awful stomachache, so I got up and...you guessed it...threw up. I've been sleeping since. Missed church which isn't so sad but I want to see people there and I won't be there next week either because of Coachella. Oh well I guess. I can go two more weeks.

I love Frank Sinatra. He really is great.

This is the most boring blog entry of all time. Like I'm bored writing it. Life is at a bit of a standstill right now. I'm just home from school, no job yet, no real purpose in being here. And I'm kind of hungry but I really don't want to eat and throw up again. And my room is really really hot right now. And all my family's coming over tonight for dinner to see Becky and Brandon. Yeeeeah. This is what I'd like to call HELL ON EARTH; however, hell on earth is mildly entertaining, mostly because it shows me how not to be when I have in-laws and all that. I am not looking forward to it.

A n y w a y, Ima go take a bath or something lazy. Aight......peace.

xoxo Lisa

p.s. i am more excited for coachella now. bling bling.

I'll Be There

My comp's still on Provo time.

I'm back in cali--9 hours--already been lectured twice. twice in nine hours. that's got to be mental abuse or something. can i sue? not yet. let's wait another half hour. i'm delirious. soooo tired. WAIT WAIT!!!!!!!! LECTURE NUMBER THREE JUST WENT DOWN!!! THREE LECTURES IN NINE HOURS...........no way. I can die now. I can honestly die happy.

Anyway...home is rough already. I had plans with perry the slugger tonight and jeffie the ballah and sorry dad i forgot to tell ya but you know what i'm used to just being able to get up off my arse and do whatever i want without telling the 'rents or the roomie or whoever about where i'm going and when i'll be back. my mom told me 1 am curfew. 1 frickin' am. that's nothing. a weekend curfew of 1 am is before i'd come home most weeknights. some weekends i wouldn't even GO OUT til 1 am. who are they kidding?

i miss provo. i miss my friends. i miss seeing the familiar faces. i miss the feeling. i miss utah. holy crap i just said i miss utah. well.......i do. i love my friends here and i'm so happy to see you guys you don't even know, but frankly i'm so used to life without you i'm going through shock being with you.

being away just kicks. i dont have to deal with my problems back here so much more. i've been able to bury so many things and being back just digs up the graves. but i'll deal. it's all i can do at this point.

Coachella. One week. i'm not excited. i think something's wrong with me. or maybe it's that it still feels surreal. who cares.

do i write about things no one cares about on here? do people enjoy this? does someone i dont know read this, because if there is someone i dont know who reads this, that's totally cool, you should talk to me. AIM- lisaloo92. i can't believe i just put my aim in there. i might as well have put my celli in there too. SALE FONE. hollah wanna be a ballah rock and roll stallah. alright alright alright alright alrihgt alirhgtihalihiej; omg i'm going crazy. i want to go to bed but i cant. i never sleep anymore. last week i was sleeping 11 hours a night, now i'm sleeping 3 tops.

okay my day. let's talk about sumthing now. my day. got up, dressing routine, airport, flight home, perry called and made me smile and laugh, home, went and saw perry and accidentally someone else, picked up robo from skool, home, missed some calls, went test driving with mom and becky (might get a scion pimp dawg!), robo from sax lessons, home, dinner with fam, kicked it with perry and jeff, went for a drive, now i'm home tlaking on the phone listening to a drone i'm rhyming make me stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.

hannah i will come to sc soon i promise!

this is a long entry but i'm bored and i could really care less.

for a long time i didn't write about certain things on this blog in great detail because it is rather public, but really, what do i care? i'm so open if you asked me about things i'd tell you anyway. this whole semester things with sloan have been bugging me. obviously, we broke up. while i was in utah this was fine because a relationship was a bit impossible and undeniably pointless considering the distance. but now i'm home. i dont know what i want to do about it. if i even want to do something about it. fact is, we cant and wont get back together. in an ideal world i guess we would but in an ideal world we wouldn't have any challenges so there you go. i dont want to get back together frankly. it was great while it lasted those whole two weeks of winter break but really...who are we kidding. the thing is: i dont know why i'm still so torn about it. we dont talk anymore really, i doubt we'll ever be friends at this point ( i saw him walking today out by EMP and my heart flipped out--i dont know why i do this either), i have no idea how he feels, does he want to be friends? does he want to know how i'm doing anymore? does he still care about me because hell i care about him. the whole deal just bothers me and i can't figure out why despite my efforts to. lack of closure perhaps, or the ambiguous future surrounding it, or both. i will be honest. sometimes i want to talk to him so badly. like something great will happen and i just want to tell him and only him because he was one of my best friends and i know that he will appreciate the story or whatever it is i want to tell him more than anyone else. but then i smile and sigh and remember "oh yeah. sloan hates you now" or whatever.

all i know is that i've found a great deal of self-control lately, and i've been able to overcome a lot of thoughts and emotions in the last little while using self-control alone. maybe that's all i need in this case too.

and as a disclaimer: i would like to say that i don't think about this very much, really only when i'm going to sleep, which might be why i can't get to sleep. but really, that's all.

love to all my playas in the pro. miss you. love you.

L.

Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars

What would the world be like without Stan Getz? Really, what would it be like? We'd have no music to dance under the stars to, no music to drive to, no music to be miserably happy to. I'm in love with the mystique, the informality, the sexiness, the character of his music.

Six days. Six days and I'm back in Walnut Creek. Six days and school is over and I'm back to my old life. I don't know if I still want it. I don't know what life I want.

No one ever tells you college is hard. People only talk about how much fun you'll have, about the time they jumped naked into the fountain in the middle of campus, or when they painted the rival school their own school's colors the weekend of the Big Game. But I'll be honest. College is hard. Rather, moving away from home is hard. You're constantly struggling for independence from your parents, always fighting homesickness, endlessly meeting new people and gathering friends and feeling utterly alone...it's an endless cycle. It's rad, don't get me wrong. I know why people say these are the best years of your life. Only in college can you sleep until 4 in the afternoon, shrug off all responsibilities except for taking care of yourself, "forget" to call your mother who's worrying her heart out, wear all those funky clothes you were too embarrassed to wear in high school, stay out all night even though you have three papers due and a test the next day. College....IS.....AWESOME.

Maybe that's what makes it so great. The lack of caring, the amount of growth. I need to vary my sentence structure more, but it's a blog entry, so who really cares? And I'm in college. I'm not aiming to please.

Just enjoy life a little bit more. Take more walks, both at night and during the day. Eat one piece of candy a day. Buy yourself a new shirt even if you don't have the money. Just have fun. Just have fun and love other people.

I used to love life and I think that's why I loved people so much. I don't know what happened. I'm on the track back there though.

But okay. 12:21 AM and I'm super tired. I've been up for twelve hours...barely. One's day is supposed to be 8 hours work, 8 hours play, and 8 hours sleep. Mine's more like 12 hours work, 12 hours sleep. But I'm down with that. Sleep rocks.

And so do you.

Much love,
Lisa Marie.

Voodoo Wop

I can't decide what I want to listen to, so I'm listening to clinic, the most random band in the world. But i love clinic, so there we go.

i am so so so so tired. i went to vegas this weekend--such a blast. becky and brandon got engaged (finally) and i kicked with dane and taylor most of the time. fun kids. we stole street signs in their golf cart. they honestly just make me laugh so hard, almost as much as becky who laughs at everything bless her heart.

next year--i still don't have a place to live and i'm procrastinating a lot about it. i think it's because i don't really want to come back here.

my mom cried to me on the phone today. it scared me because she doesn't cry. she feels like she's screwed me up somehow, like the way i feel is partly her fault. well, it is. partly. and frankly i know how to take care of myself now and i can handle it. but it made me sad that she cried over it. sobbed. bawled. wailed even.

tomorrow is a busy day. studying, test, meeting with spencer, appointment with doctor bekker, class, class, class, choir rehearsal, choir performance, studying, party, studying, bed. busy day. busy frickin day.

i looked hot today. brown pinstriped blazer, pink button up blouse, levis, silver slippers with the little sequin stuff on them, retro sunglasses. baby baby...i looked like a rock star. word.

see here, i need to go to bed now. i should. i want to. but i can't. so love you all. have fun.

and all you cali peeps.........i miss you too. we'll be back together soon.

xoxo lisa

wild eyed boy from freecloud

This is Alex's favorite song.

I'm going to Vegas tomorrow. Today. w00t? I kinda promised my sister I would, and I'd say the night before is a little late to back out. I dont care anyway. I'll have fun.

You know that feeling when you feel like you have to be friends with people? I do, sometimes. I had a nice talk with a friend of mine today. We talked about some of our other friends and how they profess to love us so much and that we're on of their very best friends, but they push us around and don't give us the time of day when certain other people are around. Maybe I'm complaining too much, but I don't think so. I think I'm just commenting on the state of life, on human nature.

I don't know what I'm saying. One and a half weeks here. That's it. I'm sad. It's been a great year. Hard, but good. I'm going to miss my friends a lot. I'm just glad I have such great friends to go home to also. I know I'm lucky.

I feel sick. Like ima puke. Maybe I will and then I won't go to Las Vegas, but I doubt it.

12:51 AM - haven't started homework, haven't packed, need sleep. Alright I'm out like a trout you know you make me wanna shout clean your grout this is it dont doubt......................this medicine is really weird guys

xoxo lisa

call me this weekend in vegas yo.

Things Mean A Lot

I am listening to the Red House Painters like crazy today. Last night....fun. After I wrote that entry I kicked it with Brandon and Danny til 5 am. They are very nice gentlemen and we had a nice conversation.

I'm a music snob. Tyler called me a music snob today. As did Mark and Rod. Well I'm okay with that. I'm not as bad as some people I know, but seriously...people should just KNOW that The Postal Service came AFTER Death Cab. And sorry guy in front of us in line last night, it was The Who, NOT AC/DC whose fans died during a riot while waiting in line for a show. That's just common knowledge bro.

I am sometimes excited to come home. Meet my LDS homies at Cal, yeeah? I am scared of life. I am really scared of it.

Appointment with the psychiatrist Tuesday. Scared for that too. I'm scared for everything. Every single thing.

"Things mean a lot at the time, don't mean nothin' later."

And that's life. That's what all the people say. (Thanks Frank).

Oh btw, last night driving home from SLC Tyler and I sang Frank Sinatra together and it was quite beautiful. He's a good singer...........AND.......
I'm out.

Love (?),
Lisa

Another Day

Saw N.E.R.D. with Tyler and two of his buddies from France tonight. It was awesome. Really awesome. Tyler knows all the words to all of their songs and he got pulled up on stage by Shay and Pharell was ALL over him. Chad wasn't there. Bummer.

Tonight was weird. Just weird. One of those nights when you know something should happen but it doesn't, so you end up feeling jipped or shorted...and depressed. Like right now.

I didn't do what I was supposed to do this year, and now school is going to be really hard. College is. What have I done? I'm so sorry. I'm just sorry. For myself. Self-pity w00t.

But I do love you everyone. That never changes.

xoxo lisa

p.s. frank sinatra is sooo my hero.

"all you need is love."

She's Losing It

Hair cut and dyed tonight. Turns out if i wanna go lighter i have to bleach it. crazy.

right now...belle and sebastian pumping. wearing my big sunglasses and trucker hat to the side looking pimp and shizz. love it.

water fight tonight. HUGE WATER FIGHT. i got so wet and then beckie and michelle locked themselves in MY ROOM and put MY CLOTHES ON including my puma and adidas track jackets!!!! I FLIPPED OUT AND STARTED HYPERVENTILATING (not really) BUT I WANTED TO!!!! no one will ever wear those except for me as long as i have anything to say about it. and then jessica went and got them all wet!! MY CLOTHES! but it's cool cos it's just water.

i'm really hot. like temperature. i think i have a fever because i've been having hot/cold flashes all day and i think i'm a bit too young for menopause.

should i go to las vegas next weekend for easter? should i go to the doctor?

sometimes i feel like making a list of all the thing i love, but then i remember i couldn't remember everything anyway, and that i would quite possibly leave off the most important things, so there's no point in the first place.

today martin called me and i didn't want to talk to him so i told him i had class even though i didn't. was that mean? i lied to someone who's just trying to be my friend. but for some reason, i get so anxious when he calls, when i hear his voice, when someone mentions his name....i cant handle it.

that's enough belle and sebastian now.

okay and i just found out that one of my friends back home is really wasted right now and that's kinda sad. nuthin i can do about that but really.....thursday night and they're drunk off their arse. chill baby. work for the weekend. but then it is april fools day and it could be a big prank.

okay that's it. THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HERE. alright peace love rock and roll party hard love makes the world go round shake it dont break it cant stop the beat move your feet out on the street willy and the poor boys are playing i'm out!!!!!!!!!!!!

xoxo lliissaa

p.s. perry richard devenport you are dead meat.

Suddenly Upsidedown

Has anyone noticed that the titles for all my blog entries are songs? In fact, they are the song I'm listening to at the time of writing. Coooooool, eh?

Baptiste the French teacher is in love. I'm convinced. He's always happy, giggling, NICE! Love is the only thing it could be. Today I saw him as I was walking on campus and he went out of his way to say hi to me. Whoa.

Tyler. Turns out we might be making a day trip out of Saturday...kickin it in the SLC all day Saturday before the show at 9. I am JAZZED like Charlie Parker on heroin.

Three weeks from today and I'm back in Cali. That is nothing.

I just got some bad news from a very good friend and it means they will probably get sent away again. I'm very upset.

So now I'm going to go cry a little because I could care less about anything else.

xoxo lisa.

Softly As I Leave You

Do you still think about me? Do you still wonder how I'm doing? Do you still want to be friends? Do you still care? Do you still hurt? Do you still remember how happy we were? Do you ever get the urge to call me or email me or IM me? Do you still remember my name?

I just got really sad after reading something. Junior Senior "Shake Your Coconuts" makes it happier though. Forced.

Martin. Martin is a Latin guy from Montevideo who called me four times today, called me three times yesterday and texted me twice, and so on and so on. Point being: he's rather in love with me. Sadly for him, I haven't the slightest interest in being anything more than friends with him, but I'm so upset right now I can see myself hooking up with him tonight and waking up sick to my stomach about it tomorrow. Anyway, I met him clubbing last Saturday night, and we're going clubbing again tonight and he wants me to call him and tell him where we'll be. Look Martin, I don't like you like that, okay? I get sick to my stomach thinking about calling you. This is so awful. I just want to be friends. Of course, you're not reading any of this, but really I just can't stand it. I'll keep all y'all updated though. Tonight will be interesting because Nelson's going too. Nelson = babe.

25 days. Still scared. Worried. Anxious. I love my peeps out in Cali tho...this is fo shizz.

Cameron, Forest, Nick--you say you'll come visit. I hope so. I want to show you everything and you can meet all my pals and I'll show you my favorite and most special spots that I've never shown anyone before, not even my loves. Now that's saying something.

Tyler. I'm seeing N.E.R.D. and Black-Eyed Peas with him next Saturday. I'm excited. N.E.R.D. and Tyler, all one night. Whoa. I don't know what to say about it except that we're going to have fun and I have to leave here in 25 days anyway so I don't quite see the point. He called me twice today (woke me up twice too, but that's my own fault for staying in bed all day). Yesterday we huddled under my umbrella together as we walked across campus. He said my jacket was hot (totally was too) and that I smell good (Chance By Chanel, the best perfume in the world no doubt). Pretty sure he likes me, but like I said we're staying chill about things and letting them happen naturally which is how it's worked for me in the past.

And...it rained all day yesterday, and I loved it. I went shopping in Park City and bought some fly sunglasses, Levis, and Vans. 30 dollars spent total on the three items. Chris Rains says, "I just don't know how you do it Lisa. I can't be seen with you anymore because I look so stupid next to your insane fashion sense." Hey man, iono how I do it either but I love you you can still be seen with me, word bro?

Right now--going to a show. Three of the bands are my friend's bands. Later--clubbing. Wish me luck with Martin prease.

xoxo Lisa

P.S.

30 days............end of semester. back to cali? yes. excited? yes and no. scared? mos def. awkward? terribly. in a mess? horribly. confused? tremendously. out of adverbs? affirmative (thanks dave bremer).

P.P.S. what does P.S. stand for?

remind me to tell you about martin next time.........omg........what the junk........sad again.

Graceful Fat Sheba

Wow. Yeah well, yeah. I mean, yeah. Tonight I saw Death Cab with Andrea, Forest, my love Cameron. It was fun. Everyone was there. Brandon, the third King, Joe, David, Amber, Chad, Nick,

I can't concentrate.

I am sad. All the time.

Coachella is gonna be so cool. Word on the street: Cameron's sis knows ima robot so we're going backstage! for free! i'm stoked.

the show tonight sucked too. I mean it was good, but i've seen death cab so many times now, and now they're all big and junk. no one cares. i dont care anymore. i'm over them.

please dont look at me, i am such a mess, i will beat your love out of my chest.............sometime....i'm sorry you hate me so much.

i gotta finish hw now.

<3 lisa

Someone Saved My Life Tonight

Weird night last night. Ended up being fun though...played FOUR SQUARE!!! So crazy. Mmk i dont wanna talk about that, it's kinda boring.

so tonight i met my friend marel's "cousin" colin, who served his mission for the LDS church (my church/Mormon church) in France with Tyler. turns out tyler really did get herpes on his mission, AND his nickname was "Fire Crotch Nelson." HA! So funny. It's ironic how i keep meeting these peeps who know tyler...kinda freaky.

anyway. this week is going to be academic hell. two french tests (oral and written) and two physics test (first try and second). what the junk?! plus a HEPE quiz, HEPE activity log, STG paper, etc etc etc etc etc. AHHHHHHH!!! And i need to find some chump to help me take my sister to the airport thursday morning since i can't drive stick worth crap....what a flipping joke.

word baby. it's 12 midnight and i haven't started my hw. this is pathetic. PATHETIC.

I feel pathetic because it still hurts like hell sometimes and there's nothing i can do about it but cry a little and shake it off until the next time i remember. i'm getting sick of this.

i have a lot of homework now. baptiste stop doing this to me.

xoxo lisa.

Dirty Sunday, Super Tuesday

Word baby. Wussup. Not much here. Okay so tonight i was going to the Pink Floyd laser show (my third time...it really is THAT good) with Carlos (my Latin lover), Oliver, and Alicia. But none of us could ever get ahold of Carlos, so we didn't go. Now i'm chillin at home. it's so weird. everyone is off doing their own random things tonight. okay but this is the weirdest part...normally when i'm alone i'm very depressed and i can't handle it. but for some reason tonight i'm enjoying the alone time. kate's in kaysville with her grandparents so i just lay in bed most of the day, reading and stuff. and i cleaned our room SO well. she's going to be way happy when she comes back. it's so clean :) i'm very proud of myself. i have so much laundry to do it's not even funny. i just have no interest in leaving my room though. solitude is kind of nice when i can handle it, like now.

guess what? five-and-a-half weeks until i'm home. i can't believe it. SO SOON! man it's so weird. to think that because it's really no time at all. it's really sad in a way. last night we had a bonfire on utah lake, and on the way home we were talking about how fast it's been, how it's all just flown by. why does life do that? when you're in the middle of time it doesn't pass. you feel like you're in this perpetual state of rest. lines fade, everything blurs together in one massive, (for lack of a more articulate term) blob of time.

now this is just to say that i am really excited for summer. i know i'm going to have a really hard time living at home...if winter break was any indication (i.e. 12 am curfews!!). IT WAS ABSURD! I'm honestly thinking about living somewhere else other than home this summer, but i dont think that'd go over big with the 'rents. Anyway, i'm excited to come home. i have so many great friends there. i love so many people there. i love san francisco and berkeley and oakland and pacifica and all of the bay area. there are so many places i want to visit, some for the first time. i love the sun there. i mean, fenton's, zachary's, the blue nile, hahaha the food! there are no good foreign food places here! i'm excited to see kevin everyday, and celeste and hannah and bea and perry, my best friends. all of them. i'm excited to lay out in the grass at night and read a book and just dream about the future. i'm excited to take late night walks with corey and lay out under the stars with alex. i'm excited to renew friendships with christina and andrew. i'm excited for weekend trips to santa cruz to visit hannah, bea, andrew, christina, john, tom, kerby, and see alex, eric, drew, everyone. i'm excited for helen to go to mexico and have the time of her life. i'm excited to make money and go to france in the fall (maybe...SO MUCH DRAMA WITH THAT RIGHT NOW!). i'm excited for coachella, i'm excited to go to SoCal to see all my peeps down there. i'm excited for life.

it's really not worth it to let the little things get you down. even the big things. i've figured out from experience now that it's going to hurt either way.

and here's another thing...i'm going to miss a lot of you next year. all you guys going on missions. i'd list you all but that would take forever and i'd probably forget someone and then offend you. okay, maybe not offend but you might feel neglected or unimportant and that's never a good situation. my heart just started hurting. but anyway, i'm going to miss you all so much for the next two years. some of you mean so much to me and i want you to know that, and also that i love you very much. and to brian and john garlock, i miss you guys too. okay so you're totally not reading this right now, but my missing you remains.

so people, all you need is love. i'm still convinced that's what life comes down to, no matter how crappy you feel. we just need love. and i promise you that you have mine. my love. forever.

xoxo lisa.

Custom Car Crash

Word. I saw Ima Robot, Kill Hannah, and The Sounds tonight. Kill Hannah sucks. They are the worst band I've ever seen live. But Ima Robot KICKED!!! And The Sounds...whoa. Like they are totally amazing live. I was never a huge fan of their album, but LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. BABY BABY!!! SO INTENSE!!! The singer whatever her name is, she is amazing! Total rock star to the max. Word. I'm hyper. I'm going out. Late.

Haphazard Joy

I almost forgot I had this thing--it's been awhile. These past few weeks have been weird. Okay so not really. I've been weird. I don't even know what to talk about...

Things with Tyler are fine. Neither of us have made a definite move yet, which is frustrating, but judging by past experience waiting for the right time and just letting things flow is a good way to go.

Eddie...I don't know why he affects me so much. We (me, Forest, Andrea) saw him after Book of Mormon Wednesday night and he completely ignored me. It was a trip. And I was already in a weird mood and I hadn't cried in like two weeks. Andrea split to the library with Eddie, Forest and I walked home and we talked and I cried. He knew it wasn't Eddie that was bothering me. Eddie frustrates me, but I don't cry over Eddie. "Lisa, that's not it." "Well then I don't know what is, Forest. I don't know what's wrong." "Lisa, maybe it's that you're getting over someone you loved more than anything and now it's like it never even happened and you have no one to love now. Maybe that's it." And that's a big part of it. It's true. Sometimes friends just don't cut it, as much as I love them.

And then there's Carlos...but he's another story altogether.

I saw Sage Francis Thursday and talked to him for awhile as he was standing right next to me for one of his openers (Grand Buffet--hiohop's Tenacious D). "Hey, you're playing Coachella, right?" I asked him. "Yeah..are you?" Haha Sage Francis asked me if I was playing Coachella. Talk about the highlight of my night. So we talked about all the bad venues in Salt Lake, how he would never play there again because no venue has good sound, and we talked about his show at Slim's in SF and how it rocked because their soundsystem is just that good.

To be honest, I don't really feel like writing in this now. I have a lot to say but I just don't feel like saying it. It's 3:30 pm, I've been up for two hours, I'm still tired, I need to shower, my room's a mess, and I could care less about it all. Ima lay in bed for awhile. Peace.

xoxo lisa.

So Long

You know, life really does get hard sometimes, but it's all for the good. We may have really intense trials, but we once we've overcome them we're always better people. Always. I've learned that the hard way, but after going through what I've been through these past few months I am such a better person. I really know what I want in life. I won't let myself make silly mistakes again. I am more ambitious in obtaining the things I want most. I know more what's important and what's not. I know who my true friends are. That's a beautiful thing.

This past week has been crazy. Like no joke, crazy. I was at Eddie's last night til 2 am. Had a lot of fun at his little acoustic night; no lefty guitars though and mine was at home so I didn't play til after everyone had left and I was chilling with Jordan, singing him to sleep with my dyslexic guitar-playing (right-handed Taylor flipped). But it was fun.

Saturday night went to a hockey game with Kristy Kadish!!, lost 2-6, got pulled over by a cop for speeding (then the cop proceeded to change lanes in an intersection AND pull over the person right next to us), went to her parents' in Orem for a good yellin and watched "The New Guy"...hilarious movie btw.

Friday night--dancing in SLC with Andrea, Brittany, Whitney, and Katie. Met a very wonderful guy named Nate who's the new marketing director for the church. He's into pretty good music too. That never hurts.

And Tyler! I haven't talked about Tyler at all. Tyler and I sit next to each other in Physics everyday, with BK (Brandon King!) on my other side and Kim to the front (Kim's in a wheelchair so she sits in front of us in the front row, making her own little row [that was confusing, sorry]). Tyler and I have been great friends all year, but suddenly the relationship is taking a different spin. It's nice. He's from Portland, Business major (switched from Photography), served his mission for our church in France (he speaks in French to me when he doesn't want anyone else to understand!), loves Frank Sinatra, loves hockey, hmmmm. It's an interesting development.

And Eddie. We are so awkward around one another I can't stand it. And neither can he from what I hear. But like he said: "Lisa, sometimes I'm just like a 6th grader and I can't help it." Sorry Mr. Provo. You are nothing but a hott, sexy, 25-year-old wuss with an amazing voice, and I am soooo done with you. Sort of. Um, who am I kidding...I can't forget about Eddie.

My French grade is up to a B! Baptiste likes me more now, I think. I've been making an effort and we talk about things like music and French culture and stuff. So I'm movin on up.

Coachella! I'm going to Coachella in May with Perry. Wow, we are going to have a blast. I am excited.

Less than two months and I'm back in Cali. This semester is going way too fast, even though I like it going fast. I'm excited to go home, have a nice comfy bed, humidity, the beach, the sun, and a job. I need money. And Perry and I are planning on taking classes together at DVC this summer. That will be fun too.

Anyway, j'ai beaucoup d'etudiant pour le francais ce soir (I have a lot of studying for French tonight). I think my French might've been wrong there, but don't bother correcting me because I really don't care.

xoxo lisa.

P.S. The sun was out ALL day today and it was BEAUTIFUL.

Looks Just Like The Sun

lisaloo92: i love you alex
spidorman44: i love you, lisa
lisaloo92: alex will you hold me sometime?
spidorman44: hmm ? yea hehe i will
lisaloo92: thanks alex.
spidorman44: and spin
lisaloo92: hahhaa and spin
lisaloo92: but not while you're holding me. i think we should probably be laying down for that or something.
lisaloo92: ...if that's not too scandalous for you...
spidorman44: haha yea sure why not lisa.. and ill cry with you
spidorman44: just for you
lisaloo92: hehehe thanks alex, but i don't think i'm going to be crying very much anymore
spidorman44: aww
spidorman44: well ill cry for all the others
lisaloo92: i'll still cry with you
lisaloo92: for the pain we've felt in the past
lisaloo92: for the way things could have been
spidorman44: yea
spidorman44: for all the others who have it worse
lisaloo92: exactly. the ones who have it worse.
lisaloo92: it can always be worse.

Exit Does Not Exist

I don't know where to start. Let's start with my day.

I got up and decided to take a bath. I turned on the water nice and hot, just the way I like it. I decided I wouldn't turn the fan on because I HATE the noise it makes; it's so disruptive to any kind of relaxation. I took my bath, which went splendidly, then let out the water like normal. I stood up. Whoa, was I dizzy. I braced myself against the cold tile for support, but things were blacking out. I couldn't see straight. My head felt like twenty bricks. My legs gave in under me and I fell. I looked up and saw the ceiling. I tried to get up again. The same thing happened. I wrestled between the shower doors and the wall, trying to keep myself from falling again. It didn't help. Kerplop! Right back into the tub. Third try. I breathed in deeply. By this time I was scared out of my mind, I couldn't breathe, I felt like vomiting, I was weak. I tried getting up again but to no avail. I blacked out. I woke up shortly after and crawled out of the tub onto the bathroom floor. "Mom," I called feebly. I hadn't the strength to speak even at a normal level. And then I remembered: I'd brought my cell phone with me into the bathroom. I called my dad. "Just elevate your feet, Lisa." After doing this for a little while I could see clearly again and felt well enough to stand up. I went into my room and just lay on the floor, freaked out of my mind, crying, not breathing, tripping. It was insane.

Anyway, Katie and I went shopping in Broadway Plaza. Kewl (I hate it when people do that, btw). Stopped by Alex's grandma's house to hug him and kiss Weebee. I love you Weebee. I love you Alex. Coco Mademoiselle and Chance. Remember those two Alex. Coco and Chance.

So tonight.

Celeste and I went up to Dinosaur Hill for a bit and chilled and chatted. Then to Rasputin's in PH where I bought Al Green's Greatest Hits (on the recommendation of many close friends) as well as Modest Mouse's "This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing To Think About." It's a great album. I'm listening to it right now.

Then it was off to Kevin's to pick him up. Then Q-Zar. I'd never been to Q-Zar before and it was SO much fun. I totally understand why guys go all the time. It's addicting. It's like playing a Star Wars video game but in real life. REAL LIFE. Man, that's deep.

Then to visit L Mo on the curb at her mom's. Then to Bea's where Ross was lying on the bed. He didn't recognize me at first (go figure). Finished Waiting For Guffman (sort of). I turned it off when the conversation got too good.

Now here's the thing that made the night great, okay? The conversation. The love. The feeling of belonging. The happiness. The connections. The fun. The sincerity. The intensity. Et cetera.

See there are some times in life when you just know things are going to work out because you have great friends. Sure, they may be 850 miles away most of the year, but they're still there. They're still your friends.

That's the most difficult thing about being away from home, you know? These people you love are 850 + miles away. I mean, that's a lot.

I don't know what else to say except that I love you all. Especially that one person who I toss around more than a salad. And I'm sorry for that. But I probably love you most and that's gotta count for something.

Anyway, let me be frank as long as I can still be garth. I LOVE YOU. AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT.

xoxo love lisa.

Is This It

The Strokes nonstop all morning, after "Just Like Honey" and Phantom Planet.

Coachella tix go on sale today? Can I afford it? Will Washington Mutual stop charging me for nothing?

Took a bath this morning. Didn't turn on the fan so it would get nice and steamy. Lemme tell ya: don't ever do that. I ended up fainting 3 (THREE!!!) times. By the third time I was so weak I couldn't even yell for help. Luckily I had my cell phone in the bathroom with me (don't ask why, I don't even know why), so I called my dad and asked him what I should do. By far the scariest experience in my life. I'm still reeling from it. Whoa. It was way intense.

The sun is out and bright. The sky is blue and the clouds are white. And I'm listening to The Strokes.

Perry Devenport you're my hero. Thanks for the great times, great memories, great laughs, great fun.

Alex, thanks for surprising me at Amoeba yesterday. That was just, wow. Indescribable. So amazing.

Enuff with the sap...I'm out.

xoxo Lisa

I'm Caught Between Goodbye and I Love You

Wow. What a weekend. It was a good one, i guess. yeah. made some new friends, rekindled friendships with old ones, so yeah. it's been good.

today was the best day i've had in a long time. it still wasn't great, but it was good. charlene and i got yelled at in french for talking, even though we were speaking in french AND speaking about the material being discussed in class. baptiste is SO anal!! anyway......

i'm coming home this weekend. baybay am i excited or what. i need to get out of this freezing utah weather! see some sun!! SAD! i HAVE SAD! aka seasonal affective disorder. so hilarious.

lisa- we love you sew very much! love katie and andrea. thanks gals ;) :)

i'm off to do more hw and study pour mon examen de francais demain! bonne nuit!

xoxo lisa.