It's not the most politically correct, but...

It's when I hear songs like this that I lust after being born 80 years ago.

Daniel Day Lewis and the Thieves

I had three different dreams last night. One involved me and Daniel Day Lewis hanging out and eating British food: fish and chips, shepherd's pie, lots of other meats and sausages and artery-clogging eats. The next involved me and Daniel Day Lewis going to Chuck A Rama (I must have been really hungry when I went to bed), where we kept eating and eating and eating. And close to this one buffet bar sat a table of jocks, who guffawed at this oddly dressed slightly older man and his radiant companion. Then at one point, I couldn't find Daniel anywhere. I searched the entire restaurant and finally found him sitting with a table of 19-year-old, Zoobie-ish girls. They were having a great time and I felt left out. The third consisted of an impeccably dressed Daniel Day Lewis and this other man who I can mostly readily compare to a quiet version of "Booger" from "Better Off Dead", giving a washboard and saxophone concert. Daniel Day Lewis sang some songs. It was an amazing show from what I remember. Maybe he should take to the life of a troubadour. I will go with him.

Bagging of the bird

I just wanna say thanks from the bottom of my heart to Tess and Adam, for finding this gem of a song. Find the "Bird Dogs Forever" theme song at the bottom of the screen.

My sister and I went to the DanceSport championships tonight. I haven't much to say other than I definitely know what I DON'T want my wedding dress to look like. Or any dress I ever wear, for that matter. What? Beadazzle my entire wardrobe? No, no, thank you. I'll pass.

I like wearing dresses.

Do you ever have those weeks when it's just better for you to not see anyone and stay inside or be alone? I am trying my hardest to stop this week that I speak of at tonight so I can continue my life the way I prefer it. Happy. Patient. Giving. Loving toward others. But you know I guess I can't be that way all the time.

I heard back from Teach For America. I am waitlisted, and I won't hear any further until April 19. The lengthy e-mail basically said, "We had a lot of applicants. We really like you. There aren't as many spots to fill this year. Just hang on because we're finding you a spot. We just don't have one for you...yet." Of course, Jeff is extremely optimistic as to what this means, and he would know because he's in TFA, and he said all the waitlisted kids got in last year. How dearly I appreciate him for this perspective. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't battling a smidge of hopelessness right now. (How pathetic. I really am anything but).

The ambiguity of the future that I've felt since I've been home has been alleviated significantly by starting a job. By applying for opportunities like TFA. By dating Jeff. By playing in a semi-defunct band with my best friends. By attending the temple weekly. I find that many things, no matter how important or insignificant, give me little reasons to be. Or not to be. That isn't my question.

Maybe I am just emotional because I'm tired and probably PMSing and that's the only reason why I'm feeling this way, because basically I have a major identity crisis once a month around this time. Ugh.

Yeah really, I just read over this blog post, and it's completely ridiculous. I can't believe I wrote it. It's all a lie except the part about PMSing. What is it about hormones that distorts reality so much?

I have an incredible life. I live in a great place, with a good job. I'm blessed in myriad ways.

Paul said it best: "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair. Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." I especially love these verses up until despair. I think that describes each day of mortality, as long as we love one another and do all that good stuff we know is right. There will be much uncertainty and much exploration, but we can be guided in what we do. Just keep going and everything falls in its place. Everything has its place and everything in its place, as Brother Wonka used to say.

I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Sweetheart.

P.S. Megan Stay, I've been thinking lately that I miss you a lot and I am going to come to Las Vegas to see you real soon.

Takes me back back.

My homegirls from Waterloo Branch made up their own version to Tik Tok. I love it! I love them!

wake up in the morning feeling like p diddy.
grab my scriptures im out the door im gonna hit seminary.
before i leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of crest.
cause when i leave for the day i aint comin back.

scripture mastery on our mind, mind.
movies all the time, time.
no texting on our phones, phones.
im talking lessons at the dossetts.
pullin in the driveway.
were not gonna be late today.

CHORUS:
dont stop make it last.
seminarys such a blast.
tonight hit the hay.
no more stayin up late.
tick tock 6 o'clock.
but the party dont stop, no.
WO WO WAH OWHH. WO WO WAH OWHH.
(repeat)


those who are lazy they get no biscuit n' gravy.
but if we get there on time, we would be totally fine.
&& now alarms are goin off at nearly 4 in the morning.
our friends think were crazy, but their life is just boring.

im talkin bagels on friday- day.
p diddy dont get paid paid.
it's okay cause he like it that way, way.

now now we goin until six thirty.
or maybe we be late, late.
cause school starts at eight, eight.
school it starts at eight.

CHORUS.

spirit, you build me up.
dont break me down.
my heart it pounds.
yeah, you help me.

im on my knees.
you got me now.
i got that feel.
yeah you got me.

spirit you build me up.
dont break me down.
my heart it pounds.
yeah you help me.

im kneelin down.
put your head down.
put your head down.

now the party dont start til the mormons walk in.

CHORUS.

Today I find out about TFA!! Today I will listen to "Today" by the Smashing Pumpkins on repeat! Today is going to be a good day.

Well, today meaning tomorrow. Because it's still Sunday for 20 more minutes.