I Need More Allowance...

...odelay-ee-oooh! Alright, my cell phone bill went way over last month, so please do not call me on it until I become less paranoid. Give me a week for that. At least. Dang, I haven't written in this thing for awhile. My dad's going through separation anxiety/another mid-life crisis as my sister and I are leaving for school soon, so he's reacting strangely, i.e. taking away my computer, yelling at me for things I didn't do, ummmmm yeah. Parents. Sheesh. My mom at least said she would take me shopping tonight. Hopefully she means she'll actually buy me something. Sheesh again. I keep having dreams that I hate BYU and I transfer to UCSC. Awesome dream. Last night I dreamt that I met Billy Corgan and then we became an "item." Hahaha, in yo' dreams, Lisa. Well hey. Man, so much is going on getting ready for school and everything, but I feel like I haven't done anything. I have luggage, clothes, a set schedule, really everything I need - I feel so unprepared. Probably normal anxiety, but I rarely get anxious; these feelings are foreign. Ah well. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but... I regret being so careless buying CDs for all these years. I do listen to most of them, but now I NEED MONEY, and I could have it all back if I just hadn't bought those CDs in the first place. Anyhow, I'm having a huge garage sale at my house soon, lots of my clothes, Helen's clothes, my CDs, lots of GOOD STUFF! So stop by. I'll put the details up as soon as I know myself. I have a new goal for my music career also: become a DJ. Like a house DJ. Wicked man! Just wait: I'll be the biggest thing in the UK since, uh, the Beatles! It's gonna rock. You'll see. That and SLC being the new Omaha.

Everybody Hurts

Cried today. A lot. But not until I got home and was yelled at by my mom for crying. What's that man? And then I hung out with Helen, which was of course fun, and we watched my new Smashing Pumpkins DVD. I took her home and my dad got pissed at me, gave me the whole "Don't raise your voice with me" speech, even though I was only doing it because he accused me of things I did not do. Hmmm, remember last Christmas Dad? Man, if you guys haven't heard that story, have me tell you sometime. It was the Christmas from hell. No, from below hell. I hate Christmas because of what happened. My parents, especially my mom, have left me with severe emotional scars and open wounds due to their constant criticism of who I am. And dang it, I can't help who I am. I wrote a song just now about how my parents make me cry more than anyone. Someday you'll hear it played on the radio. Everyone will cry. It'll be good. And the vid - oh just wait - it's going to be great. It's going to make everyone cry their heads off. Sometimes I feel like the best thing I could ever do for myself would be to never speak to them again after I'm financially self-sufficient. Suck the coconut til it's dry and then toss them aside like they've done all my dreams and future plans. Whatev man, one month tomorrow. One month tomorrow...

Mellon Collie and the Infinte Sadness...

...is here, but not that bad. Sleeping helps, even though my mind raced throughout the night and I woke up a few times and couldn't get back to sleep for about an hour each time. Now it's 8 o'clock and I'm running on about 4 hours. Man, haven't done this since, heck I can't even remember. So I'm a little bit sad today because I finally confessed my feelings to "Friend X" and now he has something going on with a different girl, who also happens to be a friend of mine. Well geez louise. I kind of figured something like this would happen, and hey it might even be for the best because I didn't want to leave for school with any kind of romantic attachments anyway. Gotta leave room for the hott Mormon boys, you know...;) Haha, the irony. Last stop: sadnessville, next stop: RockStarDomville. I don't care much about school at this point; just getting my career off the ground and hooking up with a band who I can get there with is what matters. I've got it all planned out: I start a little indie band in Provo,which is near enough to SLC we can get there on weekends to play shows. Or we could just play at BYU all the time too. From there we get a record deal with Saddle Creek, famed record company holding bands like Bright Eyes, Azure Rey and Rilo Kiley under its belt. Next we rise in the indie circuit, playing shows wherever we can, hooking up with Conor (even though I think he's a whiny little twirp) because he's actually going somewhere in the music scene right now, thanks to his Kodak moments with klepto Winona Ryder. Okay, so we have the record deal and Conor, now we bring new interest to SLC because that's where we're from. Soon there will be festivals like South by Southwest there, hosted by me and my band, possibly named Fat Pigeon (I think it's way funny, you can laugh too, just please at the name and not me), and before you know it, the indie love will have spread everywhere and me and my bandmates will be rich beyond our wildest dreams and we will give it all back through hosting our own little SXSW. SLC will be the new Omaha. I told Tony that and he laughed, but it was because he doesn't know if he should take me seriously or not. Well Tony, take me seriously, because someday you'll be writing about me and my band in those little reviews of yours. Oh yeah, Zwan will be involved somehow too. Maybe we'll do a collaberation or something, or I'll sing backup vocals to Billy's nasal screech. Yeeeeah.

Baby, Now That I've Found You

I can't let you go, I've built my world around you. I need you so, darling even though you don't need me, you don't need me! I love this song SO much. It's by the Foundations. Kimba is sad being the only pup at home now. She's doing alright, she doesn't bark anymore (which is good), but she's a lot more subdued and quiet. Still as loveable as ever though. Dang, I don't have much to say. I have a lot on my mind, but it's pretty personal - this forum isn't the best place to vent or share such intimate thoughts. I need to tell someone something. Some of you know what that is, and for those of you who don't know, that's as close to the truth as I'm going to get here. I'm bored with this and have nothing meaningful to write. Meaning..ah, meaning...plaguing my thoughts these days...

The Summer Wind...

...is confusing me. Why is it thunderstorm cloudy and still 90 degrees outside? I mean COME ON weatherman in heaven, make up yo mind! Went to the Times today and schmoozed with Tony. Cool guy. Talked a lot about music and writing (obviously) but also what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Found out how it all works. Getting a job as a reporter doesn't sound that hard; like most things, those people are all there because of hook-ups. And I know five whole people at the Times now: Lisa Wrenn the features editor, editors Karen Hershenson and Randy McMullen, a sports writer named Curtis, and of course Tony. So I think should I ever want a job at the Times, I've at least got one-and-a-half feet in the door. I hate worrying about my future though, hate it a lot, which is why I'm going to be a rock star so I can just go with the flow because that's what I like doing more than anything. Except for when I need to change something, that breaks the flow. But life is a flow, so I'm going to do a little shaping but generally let destiny find me. And destiny for me is rock stardom - you just wait ;) There's a certain someone who I want to call me right now...ahem. We took my puppy Rocky back to the breeder today. Two intelligent puppies is just too much to handle. So now we just have Kimba, and not only are we much happier with just her, but also she seems to be much happier too. She no longer must fight for dominance all the time; she knows we're all The Boss, not Bruce Springsteen "The Boss," just "the boss of her now, la la la" to quote They Might Be Giants only hit song "Boss of Me," also known as the theme song for FOXs hit show "Malcolm in the Middle" starring that unbearable little twirp Frankie Muniz who owns a rare $250,000 Porsche roadster. Phugh. I hate that guy, and not for all his money, for his attitude. Yeah.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

for all you faithful blog readers (if there even are any...) i promise i will write something good soon...just been way too busy. billy corgan rocks. our wedding date is set for september 12, 2007. *psycho* sometimes when i talk about billy like this people look at me funny and seem to get uncomfortable, but i don't care. it's true.

Sailing for adventure on the deep blue wet thing

Ah, the joys of summer. Did nothing of consequence today, except for buy two new CDs whilst chilling with Helen (one in Japanese, way cool) and go to SF for dinner as it's my father's 50th date of birth. Alright, that's wrong, but it's his 50th birthday. Every time I begin writing in this blog I become very bored. It's a bit weird. But I always write at night when my brain is on a bit of a standstill. I don't know why I'm so terribly scared in making a move with you-know-who. Well, some of you "know who;" most of you don't. And that's how it's going to stay until things are official. Normally I'm such a forward and honest person; one would think this would be no trouble. Well, normally it isn't. Oh well, I'll do something about it if i REALLY want to. Perry is home. I need to call him so I can kick his butt in pool; however, I haven't played in about three weeks. Yikes. He may beat me yet...:) Tom comes home in four and a half weeks and I CAN'T WAIT. I'm going to go learn a new Pumpkins song.

Jesus I

Got my puppies yesterday. Finally settled on the name's Rocky for the boy, and Kimba for the girl. They are extremely cute, though Rocky never pees or poops in the right place, always on the lawn or something. Not fun to clean up. But he's cute so that makes it all better...heh heh. Finally collected all my Muppet toys from Jack in the Box. You don't know how many Kids Meals I had to buy for that. 8. Eight. 8 whole kids meals because they gave me a duplicate toy one of the times. Man. I'm bored with this and really have nothing to write. Except that my puppies are cute. If I know you and you want to come see them, by all means, give me a ring. 899.7505 or sn: lisaloo92 or email l_rue@hotmail.com. I love showing them off, you see.

God's Gonna Set This World On Fire

...one of these days. Thanks to Zwan. Writing this as a shoutout to Celeste, my home-dawg, polliwog, leap frog, hot dog, that's enough. I am tired tonight. My puppies are coming Monday. I'm babysitting at 8:30 tomorrow morning. That's so early. I don't get up til at least an hour later most mornings. What a lazy bean I am. What's a eunuch?

A Thousand Years

Summer is going by quickly. Luckily. Chilled with Ali last night in a late rendezvous at B and N. Love getting lost in that place. Talked about current troubles, i.e. love. Always troubles with love. Supposed to go chill with Tony at the Times today. Bailed for the second week in a row to take someone to the airport. Oh well. Tentative rescheduling next Wednesday. I hate how the one thing that's troubling me most right now I can't write about on here for fear the person it's about will read it. Dang. Hmmm. I think I'll go shopping. I always do that to kill time. Maybe perfume and makeup shopping today. Sounds good. There's a sale at Rhinestone Cowboy, the biggest rip-off of all time, but their sales are alright. I'm bored. I only write in my blog when I'm bored. Fight the boredom with all new Blog! Ha! That was excrutiatingly lame.

Everything just feels like rain

empty-armed
and half a soul to go

and all i wanted
was you here next to me
a little sunshine and sympathy

now everybody knows
that i've been hanging down so low
'cause now i'm feeling up
soon i'll be feeling out so cold
wondering, will you call
and now i'm feeling high
soon i'll be feeling left for dead
sometimes someone saying yes
changes what you'll bet

and all i wanted
was just to hold you close
a little sunshine
just to butter my toast
and your love next to mine

i had to let you know
that we were meant to be just right
heaven sent, not sympathized
by everybody's lie
and now i'm feeling high
now i'm feeling left so dead
kicking up the dust in bed
wondering, i guess

sunshine
sunshine
sunshine
and some tea

and your love
your love
your love next to mine

i had to let you know
i had to let you go so i
could see my lie fade from your eyes
and to my surprise

that's what i wanted
it's all i wanted
it's what i wanted
me and you

sunshine
sunshine
sunshine
and some tea

that's all i wanted
it's all i wanted
that's all i wanted
it's all i wanted

There There

Some Jehovah's Witnesses just came to my door. They don't leave us alone because they know we're LDS so they're trying to convert us or something. Sorry, not interested. So bored today. Was supposed to go paint fences for some people I helped move a week or so ago, but they're postponing the painting due to the demolishing of their free-standing garage. Mom, Robert and Katie are in Utah, Dad's at work all day, as is Becky, Michael is going to his friend's house for the rest of the day and then spending the night. Hence, I am alone today. Probably go to Ikea and get another quiltcover...they're only $19.99 rock on. I'd better go. Don't want to stay online all day. Must get out and go shopping to kill time. Sweet.

Imagine all the people...

You finish it. Tonight was awesome. Went to SF with Celeste, Bianca, Kim, J-Ho, Sam, her cousin Carly and bf Tom to see the fireworks. Niiiiice. But they were lame. A Thom Yorke-ish looking guy hit on Celeste - said she had nice eyes. But then he proceeded to stare at her for the rest of the trainride (Rockridge to Embarcadero). Dang - he was kind of cute, but the staring thing was a wee bit scary. Pasha - you should've come. The fireworks were lame, I already said that. We went parading around Union Square and up Geary to The Clift. Dang, that place is awesome. Exactly how I want my future house decorated. Lots of brown, dark wood, leather, fur (oh baby, fur chairs and everything)...it's posh, sophisticated, erotic, kinky...everything I like and more. We checked out a room - it's niiice. Mirrors on the headboard wall and the wall closest to the foot of the bed. My future bedroom is going to have LOTS of mirrors...ESPECIALLY on the CEILING. Oh Yeah. Look, I'd better get to bed and think about all this. Plus, I'm heading out to some flea markets tomorrow (yipee skipee) so I should sleep.

Sick and sore

Ah, the beauty of summer. Got a letter from Tom today. Good to hear from him. He's doing well, though most of you don't care. Allison moves back to Nebraska tomorrow. I am going to miss her a lot. Hannah is doing well in Italy, though I miss her a lot too. I don't think I can handle having three best friends (Tom, Allison, Hannah) away. It's going to be really hard. Just came home from a saxophone lesson. I LOVE IT. My teacher says "I have a lot of soul" which is a good thing in jazz. Woohoo - it's my new passion and reason for living. Going to see my pups tonight. Current names are: Kimba still for the girl, the boy - Ozzy, but my brother doesn't like it as it alludes to the blood-sucking former Black Sabbath frontman (Ozzy Osbourne, you idiot). Thus, he will continue his life as "Runt" until we think of something we can all agree on. Bleh. Ah, I'm bored. I have no car.

Pink triangles

Tonight I am going to a goodbye party for Allison. I am going to miss her a lot. I got her a cool present too, but I don't want to say what it is in case she reads this before then. I love incense. I like buying people presents. I love the sun - it is such a nice day outside. The tank came home today, only to be stolen away by my dad who returned to scout camp. I am mad; my heart yearns for it's sturdy, comforting steel frame that towers over the miniscule vehicles driving next to it. I grow sick without it. And I am sick of driving a stick shift too...way too much brain power...too many things to do. Mom and Becky in SF for the rest of the day, Robert and I home alone...again. Always watching the Disco Channel. That's Discovery Channel, btw. Well well well, I guess I'll go lay my boredom down to rest, afternoon naps are the best. Lame rhymes make me feel fine. I'll shut up now...