When They Really Get To Know You They Will Run

SOOO overwhelmingly sad to be leaving my beautiful Bay Area haven for shotty Provo Hell tomorrow. Ironic: Byu being hell and all. The wedding was good, really good. The dinner was boring, so I called Regan and skipped out on a bit of it, claiming an "urgent phonecall which I had to attend to." Good old naivete. Saw Perry for about two minutes this morning - he on his way to who-knows-where, me to Helen's, then to Berkeley with Celeste and Helen. Perry says, "What, this is all I get to see you?" And i say "Did you want to see me more?" because sometimes the boy makes me feel like he just doesn't care. but apparently he wanted to see me more, so i said "come chill with kevin and i tonight." so kevin never calls and i call perry thinking he'll be at home but he's at denny's waiting for the heat of the night, so he says i want to see you and i'll call either way. but curfew was 12 tonight, 12 dang it, so early. i'd have to sneak out and i've been in trouble enough so i dont think i'll be doing that this evening/morning. i'm sad. really sad. crying sad. but 5 new cd's today brightens the mood a bit. i need to pack. leaving here tomorrow morn at 7:30 am for a 9:00 flight. i want to stay here forever. i am mad at kevin for flaking but i'm sad that perry wants to see me and wont just COME over. because perry, i want to see you too. 2 minutes this morning with chuck interjecting didn't suffice. i've missed your indian skin so, the most, but it's too late. i'm leaving early and you'll be asleep at some kids' house you don't even know. let me make it easier and say "maybe next time" and that way we will make false promises to remain friends and see each other in november when i come home again but i know the same thing might happen. i just miss you perry. i miss you, i wanted to see you, i wanted to. okay, now i really need to pack.