Has anyone noticed that the titles for all my blog entries are songs? In fact, they are the song I'm listening to at the time of writing. Coooooool, eh?
Baptiste the French teacher is in love. I'm convinced. He's always happy, giggling, NICE! Love is the only thing it could be. Today I saw him as I was walking on campus and he went out of his way to say hi to me. Whoa.
Tyler. Turns out we might be making a day trip out of Saturday...kickin it in the SLC all day Saturday before the show at 9. I am JAZZED like Charlie Parker on heroin.
Three weeks from today and I'm back in Cali. That is nothing.
I just got some bad news from a very good friend and it means they will probably get sent away again. I'm very upset.
So now I'm going to go cry a little because I could care less about anything else.
xoxo lisa.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Softly As I Leave You
Do you still think about me? Do you still wonder how I'm doing? Do you still want to be friends? Do you still care? Do you still hurt? Do you still remember how happy we were? Do you ever get the urge to call me or email me or IM me? Do you still remember my name?
I just got really sad after reading something. Junior Senior "Shake Your Coconuts" makes it happier though. Forced.
Martin. Martin is a Latin guy from Montevideo who called me four times today, called me three times yesterday and texted me twice, and so on and so on. Point being: he's rather in love with me. Sadly for him, I haven't the slightest interest in being anything more than friends with him, but I'm so upset right now I can see myself hooking up with him tonight and waking up sick to my stomach about it tomorrow. Anyway, I met him clubbing last Saturday night, and we're going clubbing again tonight and he wants me to call him and tell him where we'll be. Look Martin, I don't like you like that, okay? I get sick to my stomach thinking about calling you. This is so awful. I just want to be friends. Of course, you're not reading any of this, but really I just can't stand it. I'll keep all y'all updated though. Tonight will be interesting because Nelson's going too. Nelson = babe.
25 days. Still scared. Worried. Anxious. I love my peeps out in Cali tho...this is fo shizz.
Cameron, Forest, Nick--you say you'll come visit. I hope so. I want to show you everything and you can meet all my pals and I'll show you my favorite and most special spots that I've never shown anyone before, not even my loves. Now that's saying something.
Tyler. I'm seeing N.E.R.D. and Black-Eyed Peas with him next Saturday. I'm excited. N.E.R.D. and Tyler, all one night. Whoa. I don't know what to say about it except that we're going to have fun and I have to leave here in 25 days anyway so I don't quite see the point. He called me twice today (woke me up twice too, but that's my own fault for staying in bed all day). Yesterday we huddled under my umbrella together as we walked across campus. He said my jacket was hot (totally was too) and that I smell good (Chance By Chanel, the best perfume in the world no doubt). Pretty sure he likes me, but like I said we're staying chill about things and letting them happen naturally which is how it's worked for me in the past.
And...it rained all day yesterday, and I loved it. I went shopping in Park City and bought some fly sunglasses, Levis, and Vans. 30 dollars spent total on the three items. Chris Rains says, "I just don't know how you do it Lisa. I can't be seen with you anymore because I look so stupid next to your insane fashion sense." Hey man, iono how I do it either but I love you you can still be seen with me, word bro?
Right now--going to a show. Three of the bands are my friend's bands. Later--clubbing. Wish me luck with Martin prease.
xoxo Lisa
I just got really sad after reading something. Junior Senior "Shake Your Coconuts" makes it happier though. Forced.
Martin. Martin is a Latin guy from Montevideo who called me four times today, called me three times yesterday and texted me twice, and so on and so on. Point being: he's rather in love with me. Sadly for him, I haven't the slightest interest in being anything more than friends with him, but I'm so upset right now I can see myself hooking up with him tonight and waking up sick to my stomach about it tomorrow. Anyway, I met him clubbing last Saturday night, and we're going clubbing again tonight and he wants me to call him and tell him where we'll be. Look Martin, I don't like you like that, okay? I get sick to my stomach thinking about calling you. This is so awful. I just want to be friends. Of course, you're not reading any of this, but really I just can't stand it. I'll keep all y'all updated though. Tonight will be interesting because Nelson's going too. Nelson = babe.
25 days. Still scared. Worried. Anxious. I love my peeps out in Cali tho...this is fo shizz.
Cameron, Forest, Nick--you say you'll come visit. I hope so. I want to show you everything and you can meet all my pals and I'll show you my favorite and most special spots that I've never shown anyone before, not even my loves. Now that's saying something.
Tyler. I'm seeing N.E.R.D. and Black-Eyed Peas with him next Saturday. I'm excited. N.E.R.D. and Tyler, all one night. Whoa. I don't know what to say about it except that we're going to have fun and I have to leave here in 25 days anyway so I don't quite see the point. He called me twice today (woke me up twice too, but that's my own fault for staying in bed all day). Yesterday we huddled under my umbrella together as we walked across campus. He said my jacket was hot (totally was too) and that I smell good (Chance By Chanel, the best perfume in the world no doubt). Pretty sure he likes me, but like I said we're staying chill about things and letting them happen naturally which is how it's worked for me in the past.
And...it rained all day yesterday, and I loved it. I went shopping in Park City and bought some fly sunglasses, Levis, and Vans. 30 dollars spent total on the three items. Chris Rains says, "I just don't know how you do it Lisa. I can't be seen with you anymore because I look so stupid next to your insane fashion sense." Hey man, iono how I do it either but I love you you can still be seen with me, word bro?
Right now--going to a show. Three of the bands are my friend's bands. Later--clubbing. Wish me luck with Martin prease.
xoxo Lisa
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
P.S.
30 days............end of semester. back to cali? yes. excited? yes and no. scared? mos def. awkward? terribly. in a mess? horribly. confused? tremendously. out of adverbs? affirmative (thanks dave bremer).
P.P.S. what does P.S. stand for?
remind me to tell you about martin next time.........omg........what the junk........sad again.
P.P.S. what does P.S. stand for?
remind me to tell you about martin next time.........omg........what the junk........sad again.
Graceful Fat Sheba
Wow. Yeah well, yeah. I mean, yeah. Tonight I saw Death Cab with Andrea, Forest, my love Cameron. It was fun. Everyone was there. Brandon, the third King, Joe, David, Amber, Chad, Nick,
I can't concentrate.
I am sad. All the time.
Coachella is gonna be so cool. Word on the street: Cameron's sis knows ima robot so we're going backstage! for free! i'm stoked.
the show tonight sucked too. I mean it was good, but i've seen death cab so many times now, and now they're all big and junk. no one cares. i dont care anymore. i'm over them.
please dont look at me, i am such a mess, i will beat your love out of my chest.............sometime....i'm sorry you hate me so much.
i gotta finish hw now.
<3 lisa
I can't concentrate.
I am sad. All the time.
Coachella is gonna be so cool. Word on the street: Cameron's sis knows ima robot so we're going backstage! for free! i'm stoked.
the show tonight sucked too. I mean it was good, but i've seen death cab so many times now, and now they're all big and junk. no one cares. i dont care anymore. i'm over them.
please dont look at me, i am such a mess, i will beat your love out of my chest.............sometime....i'm sorry you hate me so much.
i gotta finish hw now.
<3 lisa
Monday, March 15, 2004
Someone Saved My Life Tonight
Weird night last night. Ended up being fun though...played FOUR SQUARE!!! So crazy. Mmk i dont wanna talk about that, it's kinda boring.
so tonight i met my friend marel's "cousin" colin, who served his mission for the LDS church (my church/Mormon church) in France with Tyler. turns out tyler really did get herpes on his mission, AND his nickname was "Fire Crotch Nelson." HA! So funny. It's ironic how i keep meeting these peeps who know tyler...kinda freaky.
anyway. this week is going to be academic hell. two french tests (oral and written) and two physics test (first try and second). what the junk?! plus a HEPE quiz, HEPE activity log, STG paper, etc etc etc etc etc. AHHHHHHH!!! And i need to find some chump to help me take my sister to the airport thursday morning since i can't drive stick worth crap....what a flipping joke.
word baby. it's 12 midnight and i haven't started my hw. this is pathetic. PATHETIC.
I feel pathetic because it still hurts like hell sometimes and there's nothing i can do about it but cry a little and shake it off until the next time i remember. i'm getting sick of this.
i have a lot of homework now. baptiste stop doing this to me.
xoxo lisa.
so tonight i met my friend marel's "cousin" colin, who served his mission for the LDS church (my church/Mormon church) in France with Tyler. turns out tyler really did get herpes on his mission, AND his nickname was "Fire Crotch Nelson." HA! So funny. It's ironic how i keep meeting these peeps who know tyler...kinda freaky.
anyway. this week is going to be academic hell. two french tests (oral and written) and two physics test (first try and second). what the junk?! plus a HEPE quiz, HEPE activity log, STG paper, etc etc etc etc etc. AHHHHHHH!!! And i need to find some chump to help me take my sister to the airport thursday morning since i can't drive stick worth crap....what a flipping joke.
word baby. it's 12 midnight and i haven't started my hw. this is pathetic. PATHETIC.
I feel pathetic because it still hurts like hell sometimes and there's nothing i can do about it but cry a little and shake it off until the next time i remember. i'm getting sick of this.
i have a lot of homework now. baptiste stop doing this to me.
xoxo lisa.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Dirty Sunday, Super Tuesday
Word baby. Wussup. Not much here. Okay so tonight i was going to the Pink Floyd laser show (my third time...it really is THAT good) with Carlos (my Latin lover), Oliver, and Alicia. But none of us could ever get ahold of Carlos, so we didn't go. Now i'm chillin at home. it's so weird. everyone is off doing their own random things tonight. okay but this is the weirdest part...normally when i'm alone i'm very depressed and i can't handle it. but for some reason tonight i'm enjoying the alone time. kate's in kaysville with her grandparents so i just lay in bed most of the day, reading and stuff. and i cleaned our room SO well. she's going to be way happy when she comes back. it's so clean :) i'm very proud of myself. i have so much laundry to do it's not even funny. i just have no interest in leaving my room though. solitude is kind of nice when i can handle it, like now.
guess what? five-and-a-half weeks until i'm home. i can't believe it. SO SOON! man it's so weird. to think that because it's really no time at all. it's really sad in a way. last night we had a bonfire on utah lake, and on the way home we were talking about how fast it's been, how it's all just flown by. why does life do that? when you're in the middle of time it doesn't pass. you feel like you're in this perpetual state of rest. lines fade, everything blurs together in one massive, (for lack of a more articulate term) blob of time.
now this is just to say that i am really excited for summer. i know i'm going to have a really hard time living at home...if winter break was any indication (i.e. 12 am curfews!!). IT WAS ABSURD! I'm honestly thinking about living somewhere else other than home this summer, but i dont think that'd go over big with the 'rents. Anyway, i'm excited to come home. i have so many great friends there. i love so many people there. i love san francisco and berkeley and oakland and pacifica and all of the bay area. there are so many places i want to visit, some for the first time. i love the sun there. i mean, fenton's, zachary's, the blue nile, hahaha the food! there are no good foreign food places here! i'm excited to see kevin everyday, and celeste and hannah and bea and perry, my best friends. all of them. i'm excited to lay out in the grass at night and read a book and just dream about the future. i'm excited to take late night walks with corey and lay out under the stars with alex. i'm excited to renew friendships with christina and andrew. i'm excited for weekend trips to santa cruz to visit hannah, bea, andrew, christina, john, tom, kerby, and see alex, eric, drew, everyone. i'm excited for helen to go to mexico and have the time of her life. i'm excited to make money and go to france in the fall (maybe...SO MUCH DRAMA WITH THAT RIGHT NOW!). i'm excited for coachella, i'm excited to go to SoCal to see all my peeps down there. i'm excited for life.
it's really not worth it to let the little things get you down. even the big things. i've figured out from experience now that it's going to hurt either way.
and here's another thing...i'm going to miss a lot of you next year. all you guys going on missions. i'd list you all but that would take forever and i'd probably forget someone and then offend you. okay, maybe not offend but you might feel neglected or unimportant and that's never a good situation. my heart just started hurting. but anyway, i'm going to miss you all so much for the next two years. some of you mean so much to me and i want you to know that, and also that i love you very much. and to brian and john garlock, i miss you guys too. okay so you're totally not reading this right now, but my missing you remains.
so people, all you need is love. i'm still convinced that's what life comes down to, no matter how crappy you feel. we just need love. and i promise you that you have mine. my love. forever.
xoxo lisa.
guess what? five-and-a-half weeks until i'm home. i can't believe it. SO SOON! man it's so weird. to think that because it's really no time at all. it's really sad in a way. last night we had a bonfire on utah lake, and on the way home we were talking about how fast it's been, how it's all just flown by. why does life do that? when you're in the middle of time it doesn't pass. you feel like you're in this perpetual state of rest. lines fade, everything blurs together in one massive, (for lack of a more articulate term) blob of time.
now this is just to say that i am really excited for summer. i know i'm going to have a really hard time living at home...if winter break was any indication (i.e. 12 am curfews!!). IT WAS ABSURD! I'm honestly thinking about living somewhere else other than home this summer, but i dont think that'd go over big with the 'rents. Anyway, i'm excited to come home. i have so many great friends there. i love so many people there. i love san francisco and berkeley and oakland and pacifica and all of the bay area. there are so many places i want to visit, some for the first time. i love the sun there. i mean, fenton's, zachary's, the blue nile, hahaha the food! there are no good foreign food places here! i'm excited to see kevin everyday, and celeste and hannah and bea and perry, my best friends. all of them. i'm excited to lay out in the grass at night and read a book and just dream about the future. i'm excited to take late night walks with corey and lay out under the stars with alex. i'm excited to renew friendships with christina and andrew. i'm excited for weekend trips to santa cruz to visit hannah, bea, andrew, christina, john, tom, kerby, and see alex, eric, drew, everyone. i'm excited for helen to go to mexico and have the time of her life. i'm excited to make money and go to france in the fall (maybe...SO MUCH DRAMA WITH THAT RIGHT NOW!). i'm excited for coachella, i'm excited to go to SoCal to see all my peeps down there. i'm excited for life.
it's really not worth it to let the little things get you down. even the big things. i've figured out from experience now that it's going to hurt either way.
and here's another thing...i'm going to miss a lot of you next year. all you guys going on missions. i'd list you all but that would take forever and i'd probably forget someone and then offend you. okay, maybe not offend but you might feel neglected or unimportant and that's never a good situation. my heart just started hurting. but anyway, i'm going to miss you all so much for the next two years. some of you mean so much to me and i want you to know that, and also that i love you very much. and to brian and john garlock, i miss you guys too. okay so you're totally not reading this right now, but my missing you remains.
so people, all you need is love. i'm still convinced that's what life comes down to, no matter how crappy you feel. we just need love. and i promise you that you have mine. my love. forever.
xoxo lisa.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Custom Car Crash
Word. I saw Ima Robot, Kill Hannah, and The Sounds tonight. Kill Hannah sucks. They are the worst band I've ever seen live. But Ima Robot KICKED!!! And The Sounds...whoa. Like they are totally amazing live. I was never a huge fan of their album, but LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. BABY BABY!!! SO INTENSE!!! The singer whatever her name is, she is amazing! Total rock star to the max. Word. I'm hyper. I'm going out. Late.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Haphazard Joy
I almost forgot I had this thing--it's been awhile. These past few weeks have been weird. Okay so not really. I've been weird. I don't even know what to talk about...
Things with Tyler are fine. Neither of us have made a definite move yet, which is frustrating, but judging by past experience waiting for the right time and just letting things flow is a good way to go.
Eddie...I don't know why he affects me so much. We (me, Forest, Andrea) saw him after Book of Mormon Wednesday night and he completely ignored me. It was a trip. And I was already in a weird mood and I hadn't cried in like two weeks. Andrea split to the library with Eddie, Forest and I walked home and we talked and I cried. He knew it wasn't Eddie that was bothering me. Eddie frustrates me, but I don't cry over Eddie. "Lisa, that's not it." "Well then I don't know what is, Forest. I don't know what's wrong." "Lisa, maybe it's that you're getting over someone you loved more than anything and now it's like it never even happened and you have no one to love now. Maybe that's it." And that's a big part of it. It's true. Sometimes friends just don't cut it, as much as I love them.
And then there's Carlos...but he's another story altogether.
I saw Sage Francis Thursday and talked to him for awhile as he was standing right next to me for one of his openers (Grand Buffet--hiohop's Tenacious D). "Hey, you're playing Coachella, right?" I asked him. "Yeah..are you?" Haha Sage Francis asked me if I was playing Coachella. Talk about the highlight of my night. So we talked about all the bad venues in Salt Lake, how he would never play there again because no venue has good sound, and we talked about his show at Slim's in SF and how it rocked because their soundsystem is just that good.
To be honest, I don't really feel like writing in this now. I have a lot to say but I just don't feel like saying it. It's 3:30 pm, I've been up for two hours, I'm still tired, I need to shower, my room's a mess, and I could care less about it all. Ima lay in bed for awhile. Peace.
xoxo lisa.
Things with Tyler are fine. Neither of us have made a definite move yet, which is frustrating, but judging by past experience waiting for the right time and just letting things flow is a good way to go.
Eddie...I don't know why he affects me so much. We (me, Forest, Andrea) saw him after Book of Mormon Wednesday night and he completely ignored me. It was a trip. And I was already in a weird mood and I hadn't cried in like two weeks. Andrea split to the library with Eddie, Forest and I walked home and we talked and I cried. He knew it wasn't Eddie that was bothering me. Eddie frustrates me, but I don't cry over Eddie. "Lisa, that's not it." "Well then I don't know what is, Forest. I don't know what's wrong." "Lisa, maybe it's that you're getting over someone you loved more than anything and now it's like it never even happened and you have no one to love now. Maybe that's it." And that's a big part of it. It's true. Sometimes friends just don't cut it, as much as I love them.
And then there's Carlos...but he's another story altogether.
I saw Sage Francis Thursday and talked to him for awhile as he was standing right next to me for one of his openers (Grand Buffet--hiohop's Tenacious D). "Hey, you're playing Coachella, right?" I asked him. "Yeah..are you?" Haha Sage Francis asked me if I was playing Coachella. Talk about the highlight of my night. So we talked about all the bad venues in Salt Lake, how he would never play there again because no venue has good sound, and we talked about his show at Slim's in SF and how it rocked because their soundsystem is just that good.
To be honest, I don't really feel like writing in this now. I have a lot to say but I just don't feel like saying it. It's 3:30 pm, I've been up for two hours, I'm still tired, I need to shower, my room's a mess, and I could care less about it all. Ima lay in bed for awhile. Peace.
xoxo lisa.
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