Dirty Sunday, Super Tuesday

Word baby. Wussup. Not much here. Okay so tonight i was going to the Pink Floyd laser show (my third time...it really is THAT good) with Carlos (my Latin lover), Oliver, and Alicia. But none of us could ever get ahold of Carlos, so we didn't go. Now i'm chillin at home. it's so weird. everyone is off doing their own random things tonight. okay but this is the weirdest part...normally when i'm alone i'm very depressed and i can't handle it. but for some reason tonight i'm enjoying the alone time. kate's in kaysville with her grandparents so i just lay in bed most of the day, reading and stuff. and i cleaned our room SO well. she's going to be way happy when she comes back. it's so clean :) i'm very proud of myself. i have so much laundry to do it's not even funny. i just have no interest in leaving my room though. solitude is kind of nice when i can handle it, like now.

guess what? five-and-a-half weeks until i'm home. i can't believe it. SO SOON! man it's so weird. to think that because it's really no time at all. it's really sad in a way. last night we had a bonfire on utah lake, and on the way home we were talking about how fast it's been, how it's all just flown by. why does life do that? when you're in the middle of time it doesn't pass. you feel like you're in this perpetual state of rest. lines fade, everything blurs together in one massive, (for lack of a more articulate term) blob of time.

now this is just to say that i am really excited for summer. i know i'm going to have a really hard time living at home...if winter break was any indication (i.e. 12 am curfews!!). IT WAS ABSURD! I'm honestly thinking about living somewhere else other than home this summer, but i dont think that'd go over big with the 'rents. Anyway, i'm excited to come home. i have so many great friends there. i love so many people there. i love san francisco and berkeley and oakland and pacifica and all of the bay area. there are so many places i want to visit, some for the first time. i love the sun there. i mean, fenton's, zachary's, the blue nile, hahaha the food! there are no good foreign food places here! i'm excited to see kevin everyday, and celeste and hannah and bea and perry, my best friends. all of them. i'm excited to lay out in the grass at night and read a book and just dream about the future. i'm excited to take late night walks with corey and lay out under the stars with alex. i'm excited to renew friendships with christina and andrew. i'm excited for weekend trips to santa cruz to visit hannah, bea, andrew, christina, john, tom, kerby, and see alex, eric, drew, everyone. i'm excited for helen to go to mexico and have the time of her life. i'm excited to make money and go to france in the fall (maybe...SO MUCH DRAMA WITH THAT RIGHT NOW!). i'm excited for coachella, i'm excited to go to SoCal to see all my peeps down there. i'm excited for life.

it's really not worth it to let the little things get you down. even the big things. i've figured out from experience now that it's going to hurt either way.

and here's another thing...i'm going to miss a lot of you next year. all you guys going on missions. i'd list you all but that would take forever and i'd probably forget someone and then offend you. okay, maybe not offend but you might feel neglected or unimportant and that's never a good situation. my heart just started hurting. but anyway, i'm going to miss you all so much for the next two years. some of you mean so much to me and i want you to know that, and also that i love you very much. and to brian and john garlock, i miss you guys too. okay so you're totally not reading this right now, but my missing you remains.

so people, all you need is love. i'm still convinced that's what life comes down to, no matter how crappy you feel. we just need love. and i promise you that you have mine. my love. forever.

xoxo lisa.