so....life has been very very busy.
working all day. getting home and going out with friends or crashing completely.
life is intense.
grandma's doing, well, not well. she took a turn for the worse today. that's all i really want to say about it. i kid myself into thinking i'm okay with it, but she is the last person i want to see go right now.
tyler called the other night as i was going to bed. he's going to vegas in a few weeks to see the beastie boys $2 Bill. hella tyte. i'm not huge beastie boyz fan or nuthin, but they'd be a blast to see. i love how he decides to start calling me all the time when i don't live in utah. so perfect.
okay so work was weird these past couple days. first i keep getting hit on at my morning job, like these men will drive by and say, "Finally! A beautiful woman to ease my eyes" or stupid shiznit like that. one of them actually said in a moment of pure idiocracy, "I'm captivated by your beauty." But, you know, I just smile my little half smile and look at them out of the corner of my eye and they tip me, so what if i'm a whore i don't care i'm making money babeh.
i am so out of it right now. i'm sure there's other stuff i wanted to say but i can't think straight.
i'm going camping this weekend...maybe...if i feel like to tomorrow. we'll see.
i hate my dog. she destroyed all my childhood stuffed animals. ima kill 'er.
thanks for kicking my hometeam's ass sox. i love yas <3<3<3<3 johnny damon let's run away together forever and love each other in the outfield arkarkark
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
and i'm pissed because my dad keeps taking my car to run stupid errands, and using my gas which is not cheap i might add, and bringing my fatty dog that i love so much with him so now my poor jeep smells like dog and has her fur all over it.
could life get worse?
(ummm babycakes you're being a real jackass to me right now and you won't even tell me why)
could life get worse?
(ummm babycakes you're being a real jackass to me right now and you won't even tell me why)
Another Lonely Day
Today was a weird day. Woke up still really sick so I called in sick to work but had to go in for a few hours anyway. That sucked. But I got to go home and lay around, so that rocked.
Then I went to the florist and worked. That was good because I made my first tips ever...six dollars total. Won't buy me much, but any tip is appreciated.
Supposed to get off at six, didn't get off til seven thirty. Not bummed because time flew by.
Got home. My grandma, my nice grandma, the one that winks at you and sparkles her eyes instead of saying "Hello" or "I love you," the one that gives you Nillas in a ziplock bag with one for the road, the one who wrapped your presents so tightly and perfectly at holidays you didn't want to open them even though you knew something so magical and marvelous was just under that millimeter's width of paper...that grandma...went into the hospital today. She might have stomach cancer. She might die.
My grandpa died four years ago this September, and Grandma's been telling her friends that she would live for four years after his death and that was it. Four years is four months away.
So I'm trying not to get down about it, because after all, she's lived one unbeatable life. But she is my grandma, and she loves me and I love her, and talking to her and visiting with her last Thursday, bringing her roses, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Not because she's boring or because I don't like being with her. Because she could hardly form a sentence, and she's so thin her skin seems transparent. Because she doesn't eat and can't walk and is too weak to get up. Because that gem in her eye is fainter than I've ever seen it, and I'm just not ready to see my grandma go.
But at least she'd be happy, you know?
Then I went to the florist and worked. That was good because I made my first tips ever...six dollars total. Won't buy me much, but any tip is appreciated.
Supposed to get off at six, didn't get off til seven thirty. Not bummed because time flew by.
Got home. My grandma, my nice grandma, the one that winks at you and sparkles her eyes instead of saying "Hello" or "I love you," the one that gives you Nillas in a ziplock bag with one for the road, the one who wrapped your presents so tightly and perfectly at holidays you didn't want to open them even though you knew something so magical and marvelous was just under that millimeter's width of paper...that grandma...went into the hospital today. She might have stomach cancer. She might die.
My grandpa died four years ago this September, and Grandma's been telling her friends that she would live for four years after his death and that was it. Four years is four months away.
So I'm trying not to get down about it, because after all, she's lived one unbeatable life. But she is my grandma, and she loves me and I love her, and talking to her and visiting with her last Thursday, bringing her roses, was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Not because she's boring or because I don't like being with her. Because she could hardly form a sentence, and she's so thin her skin seems transparent. Because she doesn't eat and can't walk and is too weak to get up. Because that gem in her eye is fainter than I've ever seen it, and I'm just not ready to see my grandma go.
But at least she'd be happy, you know?
Monday, May 24, 2004
I Only Have Eyes For You
Today was a good day, I guess.
I've been really sick so I slept in late, woke up late and spent my day in bed watching the '80s movie marathon on AMC. "Satisfaction," "Lucas," "The Breakfast Club," and "Sixteen Candles." So all in all it was a very lazy day, but I haven't had one of those in a long time. I deserved it.
Work is taking its toll already. I'm working ten and a half hours almost every day. Six and a half with the parking and four or more with the florist. So the parking job rocked at first because I could just read all day, but I'm growing bored of it. Two more weeks, sure, but I really don't think I can make it. Plus it starts at 7 freakin' AM every morning, and seeing as how I could barely make it to 2 PM class on time at school, 7 AM is quite the crisis. Now the florist--best job ever. Mary Fu came in and applied the other day and barely even talked to me, not that I give a darn but really Mary, you were rude.
Tyler, let's run away together right now. I am just so in love with you sometimes. I have never met anyone I can sing Frank Sinatra with in class, in the car, and on the phone. You are just too much for me to handle I love you so much.
I miss you Richard Perry.
Last but not least, Pipkin called me tonight and for those of you who don't know Pip which is most of you, he is the sweetest, kindest, cuddliest old bear on the planet and i love him and miss him dearly. he is a friend from school and i could just be happy with him and his happy little chuckle forever.
paaaaaace out lovers.
xoxo LLLLIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I've been really sick so I slept in late, woke up late and spent my day in bed watching the '80s movie marathon on AMC. "Satisfaction," "Lucas," "The Breakfast Club," and "Sixteen Candles." So all in all it was a very lazy day, but I haven't had one of those in a long time. I deserved it.
Work is taking its toll already. I'm working ten and a half hours almost every day. Six and a half with the parking and four or more with the florist. So the parking job rocked at first because I could just read all day, but I'm growing bored of it. Two more weeks, sure, but I really don't think I can make it. Plus it starts at 7 freakin' AM every morning, and seeing as how I could barely make it to 2 PM class on time at school, 7 AM is quite the crisis. Now the florist--best job ever. Mary Fu came in and applied the other day and barely even talked to me, not that I give a darn but really Mary, you were rude.
Tyler, let's run away together right now. I am just so in love with you sometimes. I have never met anyone I can sing Frank Sinatra with in class, in the car, and on the phone. You are just too much for me to handle I love you so much.
I miss you Richard Perry.
Last but not least, Pipkin called me tonight and for those of you who don't know Pip which is most of you, he is the sweetest, kindest, cuddliest old bear on the planet and i love him and miss him dearly. he is a friend from school and i could just be happy with him and his happy little chuckle forever.
paaaaaace out lovers.
xoxo LLLLIIIISSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sunday, May 16, 2004
you can dance if you want toooooooooooo
i just listened to the worst cover ever thank you.....melvins covering smells like teen spirit. hollah--please, the melvins are a semi-respectable grunge band and here they are making fools of themselves covering one of the most uncoverable songs of all time. BiG mIsTaKe.
i wanna go for a walk on my favorite huck finn trail. i will take you all sometime on a glorious walk through tilden park on the best trail ever. it is full of surprises like chocolate wood and rare flowers of grandeur and beautiful green leaves. teehee.
let me take a minute to brag about how much money i made in one week. 600 dollars. yep, that's right. in one week i made 600 dollars. i really can't tell you how i did it--it was very very lucky--but that's about one-eighth of the money i need for skool next year.
have i mentioned i still don't have a place to live next year? do i wanna go back to the pro? no, no, i don't. that's the hard part. i am so wishwashy on that one. don't wanna go back, don't wanna stay here, don't wanna do anything really 'cept lay on the beach and get a sunburn and tell kate the roommate that i miss her and walk barefoot through the street singing songs and dancing to men at work in my head.
i am starting work tomorrow at the parking place. as far as i know i'm getting paid 8 lame dollars an hour (what the junk yo?!) so frankly that job won't be lasting too long unless they supply a little mo' cash money.
i watched better off dead yesterday. lisa marie cusack. lisa ruefenacht cusack. lisa cusack. i don't like it. i love john cusack. i knew a guy at school (scott) from oregon who looked exactly like john cusack, so of course i crushed on him all year.
i need something to obsess over for a while. obsessing over a guy is out because there are no boyz i like here, bummer, except for my boy chris but that could get a little weird considering our parents are good friends and we are good friends.......none of that. suggestions are welcome peeps.
and a word to the wise--christina i shoulda come to santa cruz last night even though i was so wiped out...it woulda been "good times" or "a ball" or "a night to remember" or "a memory that lasted lifetimes."
this entry is really fake.
i wanna go for a walk on my favorite huck finn trail. i will take you all sometime on a glorious walk through tilden park on the best trail ever. it is full of surprises like chocolate wood and rare flowers of grandeur and beautiful green leaves. teehee.
let me take a minute to brag about how much money i made in one week. 600 dollars. yep, that's right. in one week i made 600 dollars. i really can't tell you how i did it--it was very very lucky--but that's about one-eighth of the money i need for skool next year.
have i mentioned i still don't have a place to live next year? do i wanna go back to the pro? no, no, i don't. that's the hard part. i am so wishwashy on that one. don't wanna go back, don't wanna stay here, don't wanna do anything really 'cept lay on the beach and get a sunburn and tell kate the roommate that i miss her and walk barefoot through the street singing songs and dancing to men at work in my head.
i am starting work tomorrow at the parking place. as far as i know i'm getting paid 8 lame dollars an hour (what the junk yo?!) so frankly that job won't be lasting too long unless they supply a little mo' cash money.
i watched better off dead yesterday. lisa marie cusack. lisa ruefenacht cusack. lisa cusack. i don't like it. i love john cusack. i knew a guy at school (scott) from oregon who looked exactly like john cusack, so of course i crushed on him all year.
i need something to obsess over for a while. obsessing over a guy is out because there are no boyz i like here, bummer, except for my boy chris but that could get a little weird considering our parents are good friends and we are good friends.......none of that. suggestions are welcome peeps.
and a word to the wise--christina i shoulda come to santa cruz last night even though i was so wiped out...it woulda been "good times" or "a ball" or "a night to remember" or "a memory that lasted lifetimes."
this entry is really fake.
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Break Me Gently
Name: Lisa Ruefenacht
Favorite color: brown
Favorite city: Frisco
Favorite food: tofu pad si iu
Favorite video game: TMNT
Favorite band: currently manitoba, tomorrow the doves, thursday the jasmine minks
Favorite pasttime: taking walks with friends
Favorite memory: ------- don't wanna talk about it, it hurts too much yo
Favorite season: indifferent but i hate snow
Have I mentioned i might work in sf? way excited. too excited.
tyler called tonight, just to talk.
he left a voice mail because i was downstairs and didn't hear my phone.
i didn't call back.
he is a funny guy.
tyler!
bedtime for me. i am sleepy.
<3
bless your heart perry richard. i miss you.
Favorite color: brown
Favorite city: Frisco
Favorite food: tofu pad si iu
Favorite video game: TMNT
Favorite band: currently manitoba, tomorrow the doves, thursday the jasmine minks
Favorite pasttime: taking walks with friends
Favorite memory: ------- don't wanna talk about it, it hurts too much yo
Favorite season: indifferent but i hate snow
Have I mentioned i might work in sf? way excited. too excited.
tyler called tonight, just to talk.
he left a voice mail because i was downstairs and didn't hear my phone.
i didn't call back.
he is a funny guy.
tyler!
bedtime for me. i am sleepy.
<3
bless your heart perry richard. i miss you.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Blue Monday
Today was a Blue Monday, and very boring.
I am very sick of being here. Three weeks (almost) and I am not doing well.
Perry is gone and he took half my sanity with him. Phew.
I worked as a driver for Lafayette Florist over the weekend and I got really lost on one of my deliveries and ended up meeting the Purple People. THE PURPLE PEOPLE!!! I was so freaked out. They have a little security shack at the front of their house and one of the purple people is always inside it with their airsoft gun ready to attack any intruders. Luckily, they took pity on me and helped me rather than barrage me with pellets. But really, it was one of the freakiest experiences of my life. PURPLE PEOPLE! URBAN LEGENDS! SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!
I love dancing in the car.
I am so excited. I am still homeless for next year at BYU. That would just be tyte if I lived on the street.
Becky is getting married. September 25th. Whoa. I am a bridesmaid and we are wearing celadon dresses. They're pretty cute actually. Celadon is a pale green color. Our flowers will be light pink. See, these colors actually go well with me.
South Beach diet sucks yo, even though you get to eat cheese and I love cheese. And you eat healthy food and it makes you feel good and not so lazy. Mozarella, swiss, camembert, brie, wine goat cheese, gouda, dood i just found some of kimba's hair on my keyboard. that thing is psycho man.
alright alright. i believe in a thing called love. GUITAR!
xoxo lisa
I am very sick of being here. Three weeks (almost) and I am not doing well.
Perry is gone and he took half my sanity with him. Phew.
I worked as a driver for Lafayette Florist over the weekend and I got really lost on one of my deliveries and ended up meeting the Purple People. THE PURPLE PEOPLE!!! I was so freaked out. They have a little security shack at the front of their house and one of the purple people is always inside it with their airsoft gun ready to attack any intruders. Luckily, they took pity on me and helped me rather than barrage me with pellets. But really, it was one of the freakiest experiences of my life. PURPLE PEOPLE! URBAN LEGENDS! SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL!
I love dancing in the car.
I am so excited. I am still homeless for next year at BYU. That would just be tyte if I lived on the street.
Becky is getting married. September 25th. Whoa. I am a bridesmaid and we are wearing celadon dresses. They're pretty cute actually. Celadon is a pale green color. Our flowers will be light pink. See, these colors actually go well with me.
South Beach diet sucks yo, even though you get to eat cheese and I love cheese. And you eat healthy food and it makes you feel good and not so lazy. Mozarella, swiss, camembert, brie, wine goat cheese, gouda, dood i just found some of kimba's hair on my keyboard. that thing is psycho man.
alright alright. i believe in a thing called love. GUITAR!
xoxo lisa
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
You're So Electronic
Yeah! GO MISTER LOVELESS!! xoxo to robbie
today was a great day.
perry got sent away last night. i miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. my heart just ached all day, but it was a great day still because i went to work and got some great jobs (i will tell you about them in a sec) and saw the stills with celeste at raspy's in berkeley for fun (i don't really like them that much, you see, but it was free so why not?). my heart just aches a lot for perry but it was nice to be busy and forget about it a little bit. a little bit. just a little bit. i miss him like crazy yo.
my jobs! first job: valet in oakland. yeeeah. just random enough i can handle it, my mom says. my interview is tomorrow in oakland. i'm psyched. job number two: data entry for this marketing company in SF. 12 dollars an hour. temporary position, only for the rest of the week, but dood. 12 an hour?! i will be rolling. job number three: house sitting next weekend. that will be a couple hundred i'm sure. whoa. like life is really really awesome right now.
the highlights? nick is coming to visit me!! other highlights: my parents think i do drugs! hahaha!! another highlight: becky found a wedding dress today. i'm sure it is beautiful.
there were a lot of stupid people at coachella. there was this one really really stupid girl wearing pixie wings and a tutu, probably for the pixies, but dang she was LAME. LAAAAAAAAAAME. there were other stupid people too; read yesterday's entry for a bit of it.
so okay. i am going to go to bed soon, i hope, after i read my book a little bit more. DaVe EgGeRs is AWESOME.
xoxo lisa.
p.s. i am lucky. just really lucky to be this happy right now.
today was a great day.
perry got sent away last night. i miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. my heart just ached all day, but it was a great day still because i went to work and got some great jobs (i will tell you about them in a sec) and saw the stills with celeste at raspy's in berkeley for fun (i don't really like them that much, you see, but it was free so why not?). my heart just aches a lot for perry but it was nice to be busy and forget about it a little bit. a little bit. just a little bit. i miss him like crazy yo.
my jobs! first job: valet in oakland. yeeeah. just random enough i can handle it, my mom says. my interview is tomorrow in oakland. i'm psyched. job number two: data entry for this marketing company in SF. 12 dollars an hour. temporary position, only for the rest of the week, but dood. 12 an hour?! i will be rolling. job number three: house sitting next weekend. that will be a couple hundred i'm sure. whoa. like life is really really awesome right now.
the highlights? nick is coming to visit me!! other highlights: my parents think i do drugs! hahaha!! another highlight: becky found a wedding dress today. i'm sure it is beautiful.
there were a lot of stupid people at coachella. there was this one really really stupid girl wearing pixie wings and a tutu, probably for the pixies, but dang she was LAME. LAAAAAAAAAAME. there were other stupid people too; read yesterday's entry for a bit of it.
so okay. i am going to go to bed soon, i hope, after i read my book a little bit more. DaVe EgGeRs is AWESOME.
xoxo lisa.
p.s. i am lucky. just really lucky to be this happy right now.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
You Make It Easy
Alright. I am so so tired, but I need to kick out this blog entry with a short rundown of Coachella. I'm afraid I'll forget.
Best bands I saw: The Cure, Broken Social Scene, AIR---The Cure for obvious reasons. They played over two hours. "Pictures of You," my personal fav, The Lovecats, Just Like Heaven, Love Song, Fascination Street, Boys Dont Cry, Why Cant I Be You, okay okay so i cant even name all the song because they were just that good. BSS--I cried. No joke. One of the guitarists proposed to his gf during the set. Really cute. They were just really good. Full of energy, full of love. Everyone was dancing, crying, loving. Loved it. Love them. AIR---I got the last AIR shirt! This guy next to me was really nice and let me have it instead of buying it himself. THANKS I LOVE YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! Kelly Watch the Stars, Venus, Cherry Blossom Girl, Sexy Boy, etc etc. They had a nice even blend from all their albums I'd say.
Biggest letdown: The Pixies. Kim Deal was having the time of her life up there, but Frank Black looked like it was the least important thing to him on earth at that moment. It was really tough to watch. I mean, they sounded great, of course, but they were so boring! SO BORING! The Pixies! They're legends for crying out loud! I almost hate saying it, but i didn't even mind leaving their set early to watch the rapture. they were just that boring.
Okay, I'm really sick of writing about this.
Bands I saw that were GOOD(and I think i'll leave it at that. if you have any questions about specifics, just ask me):
- Radiohead
- the Sounds
- the Rapture
- Kraftwerk
- Junior Senior
- Broken Social Scene
- the Cure
- AIR
- Belle and Sebastian
- !!!
Bands that were okay
- the Thrills
- the Stills
- Trail of the Dead
- the Pixies
- Muse
- Section Quartet (really boring)
Bands that were awful
- Electric Six
- Thursday
- Flaming Lips
- Death Cab for Cutie
- Howie Day
- DIOS
- Sahara Hotnights
- Phantom Planet
And so many funny things too! Haha! Elephant girl with the favorite band Elefant, high five boy, the Whale Woman, etc., etc. Man, good times.
Wow. Something major just happened. Perry got sent away again. Right after Coachella. At least we got to go, at least we had such a great time. He just called from the hotel. He's going to be okay, God bless him.
Now I'm really out. Going to bed. Rather, I'm going to lay in bed sobbing, crying, thinking. I always cry more when I'm tired.
Best bands I saw: The Cure, Broken Social Scene, AIR---The Cure for obvious reasons. They played over two hours. "Pictures of You," my personal fav, The Lovecats, Just Like Heaven, Love Song, Fascination Street, Boys Dont Cry, Why Cant I Be You, okay okay so i cant even name all the song because they were just that good. BSS--I cried. No joke. One of the guitarists proposed to his gf during the set. Really cute. They were just really good. Full of energy, full of love. Everyone was dancing, crying, loving. Loved it. Love them. AIR---I got the last AIR shirt! This guy next to me was really nice and let me have it instead of buying it himself. THANKS I LOVE YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! Kelly Watch the Stars, Venus, Cherry Blossom Girl, Sexy Boy, etc etc. They had a nice even blend from all their albums I'd say.
Biggest letdown: The Pixies. Kim Deal was having the time of her life up there, but Frank Black looked like it was the least important thing to him on earth at that moment. It was really tough to watch. I mean, they sounded great, of course, but they were so boring! SO BORING! The Pixies! They're legends for crying out loud! I almost hate saying it, but i didn't even mind leaving their set early to watch the rapture. they were just that boring.
Okay, I'm really sick of writing about this.
Bands I saw that were GOOD(and I think i'll leave it at that. if you have any questions about specifics, just ask me):
- Radiohead
- the Sounds
- the Rapture
- Kraftwerk
- Junior Senior
- Broken Social Scene
- the Cure
- AIR
- Belle and Sebastian
- !!!
Bands that were okay
- the Thrills
- the Stills
- Trail of the Dead
- the Pixies
- Muse
- Section Quartet (really boring)
Bands that were awful
- Electric Six
- Thursday
- Flaming Lips
- Death Cab for Cutie
- Howie Day
- DIOS
- Sahara Hotnights
- Phantom Planet
And so many funny things too! Haha! Elephant girl with the favorite band Elefant, high five boy, the Whale Woman, etc., etc. Man, good times.
Wow. Something major just happened. Perry got sent away again. Right after Coachella. At least we got to go, at least we had such a great time. He just called from the hotel. He's going to be okay, God bless him.
Now I'm really out. Going to bed. Rather, I'm going to lay in bed sobbing, crying, thinking. I always cry more when I'm tired.
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