Like Foxes Through Fences

Do you ever come home at night feeling really stupid? Like maybe you did something, or didn't do something...maybe you said something that sounded super funny in your head but ended up being really rude, or maybe you kept saying you were going to talk to someone you thought was cute but never actually ended up talking to that person...

If you're anything like me you know what I'm talking about. For me it's the boy at church that I just can't seem to talk to, even though I walk by him alone four times each Sunday, or maybe you just love your best guy friend so much that the only way you know how to show him is by being mean to him and then you just fight all the time because maybe you both feel the same way or maybe you both really do hate each other...

I know there's something I can do about it. But it just hurts when I find out they all went to FHE and didn't call me even though I coulda called them first, or even when Azn boy was there they didn't call either...I mean, they know I like him even though I say I'm over him all the time...I don't really like him...

I end up acting like a big dumb baby all the time. I know where I stand on very few issues and my head feels like a rubix cube. I love him, I don't love him, I hate you, I don't hate you, we have nothing in common, we have everything in common, I'm going to talk to azn boi, I'm over azn boi...you see what i mean now huh...

Two things are for sure. I miss my friends is the first one, all of them, even the ones here in Walnut Creek since we never call each other anymore, and number two, I am talking to him this Sunday because it's not going to kill me and I'm not going to catch some horrible disease and I really can't make that bigga fool outta myself and even if I do which actually is possible knowing me I will just laugh it off like I always do because that's the type of girl I am, the I-don't-give-a-damn-what-anyone-thinks-of-me-as-long-as-I'm-happy girl. That's who I like.

It's funny that I'm only really happy like how I used to be before Sloan when I'm with him, that good ol' friend of mine, that one I fight with all the time allthetimeneverendingfightsandyellingandlove...
xoxo L