i am beside myself right now. i'm going off some medicine and it's driving me crazy with side effects. i'm dizzy, i'm happy, i'm sad, i'm everywhere and nowhere all at once.
i guess you could say colin and i had a "fight" on friday. it wasn't really a fight though. anyway, he got mad at me for something HE is ashamed for. it's complex and awful and emotionally daunting. now i remember why i've avoided relationships for the past year. being single is just easier.
that being said i have no idea what to do. do i call him? do i wait for him to call me? to i act like it didn't happen? do i talk to him about my FEELINGS? do i do nothing? am i overreacting?
okay. i smell like bleach. i love that smell. the band's new name might be "the moon behind the mountain." court and i thought of it the other night and i really like it and so does she. it was one of those breakthrough moments when you cry with delight because you've discovered something so beautiful. we almost cried tears.
if i could weep right now i would, but i am otherwise too different.
i have school at 9 a.m. tomorrow. damn.
things could be worse.
Monday, February 28, 2005
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