It's true. After a long courtship and engagement, my fizzy friend and I are parting ways. Explanation.
1. Soda is bad for you whether it's diet or not. Lying to myself doesn't change this fact.
2. One should never voluntarily put acid in his or her body.
3. My bursitis-inflicted hip flares when I drink caffeine. So does my heart rate.
4. Sometimes it takes the right person to tell you to quit, because from them it finally makes sense.
5. I'm going to save several hundred dollars this year from quitting soda, so maybe I can finally get myself that tube amp I've wanted forever.
Now, I expect all of you friends to support me. Please do not tempt me, call me wanting to get a sip, text me wanting to get a sip, or bring me a Diet Coke in the car ever again. (Megan, this especially means you since you frequently do this. I appreciate it. But since you can't drink soda now that Brutus is gone, I won't either. And if you can still drink Diet Coke even though Brutus is gone, you should just tell me you can't).
Goodbye, Lover.
4 comments:
i went almost five days without any coke. that good... right?!? oh man, i need to stop. so badly. i'll quit vicariously through you. that works too, right??
In the meantime you can borrow my AC30. I am actually serious, it's too loud and I know you'd take good care of it. Let's say you can have one consecutive month of it... or maybe two.
Oh my gosh you are going to love life!! I gave it up a couple years ago, and I feel so much better!!!
Brutus is gone but before he left he forbade my body from ever drinking Diet Coke again...I have a 20 ouncer sitting in my fridge, unopened and taunting me, and yet I have absolutely no desire to drink it. It is convenient that our sip days are over because now neither one of us can tempt the other.
Post a Comment