Moisture

Isn't that just the grossest word? Moisture. It's gross to say, it's weird to hear, and it is so non-descriptive. Let me suggest some situations where I commonly hear the word 'moisture' used.

From the pulpit during prayer: 'We are thankful for the moisture we've received.' Why not just say rain? That's what you really mean.

Outside in the summer: 'There's so much moisture on my water bottle.' Moisture? I think you mean condensation.

At a BBQ restaurant: 'Would you like a moist towlette?' Oh, you mean wipe? Yes, I'd love one.

In the suffocating Houston summer humidity: 'Sick. It is so moist out here.' You mean hellish. Go away now.

After running through a sprinkler: 'Darn. Now my shirt is moist.' Just say wet, because that's what it is.

I'd like to say I won't punch you if you ever say 'moist' around me, but I can't make any promises.

What got me started thinking about this was how much water I've drunk in the past four weeks. Each workday (and most Sundays, Saturdays I often slack off) I drink an entire bottle like this:

That is 101.4 fl oz of mois water, just 26.6 oz shy of a full gallon. I started it as a challenge to myself to see if I could actually do it. It's surprisingly easy. Sure, it's a ton of water and I pee a few more times daily than I used to (I commonly drank around 80-90 oz daily before, so I'm not drinking too much more), but it has done a few great things for me.

1. improved my digestion
2. improved my minor skin dryness issues. You may think that because I live in the most humid place in the world that I never have to use chap stick. Think again. This helps my otherwise very dry lips and eyelids.
3. made my fingernails super strong. Part of this is due to the protein in my diet, but I've noticed a definite increase in fingernail growth over the past few weeks. Luckily I haven't noticed any outrageously long toenails. Sick. Toenails are gross.
4. My body stays cooler. I work out in my 100-degree garage, so you know I sweat a ton, and I drink another 30-40 oz of water each night after I get home/workout. But for some reason, I feel like I don't sweat nearly as much as I used to. Call me crazy. My sweat also isn't salty.
5. given me more excuses to leave my office!!

In fact, it's just now 1 pm and I finished the jug already! I can't believe it.

Guys, I really have to pee now. But before I leave, you have to make this recipe. It is so good. Peace out.