If it's free, it's for me

Does anyone else remember when Blogger wasn't owned by Google? I barely do, back when I started writing this sorry blog.

I just read this opinion piece  and it made me think of all the things I get for free in this world without even batting an eye. I, like the writer, listen to spotify all day long. Artists make very little money off of me, despite the fact I listen to their albums ad nauseum. Vinyl attracts me for this very reason. Jack White's new album "Lazaretto", which I'm currently listening to via spotify, features hidden tracks accessible only on the vinyl copy. Were I a bigger Jack White fan, I wouldn't hesitate to pay $25 in exchange for a unique musical experience. Jeff and I paid almost $100 a few weeks ago to see Jimmy Eat World, a band whose only album I've ever purchased was "Bleed American" (back before it was re-branded post 9/11), but who I listen to regularly on spotify and Pandora (they happen to be our favorite band to train to). But then when Parquet Courts came and played for $10/ticket, I couldn't be bothered. I regret not going. I was tired or something.

We are accustomed to free things in this day and age. Even our cell phones feel free, despite the fact most of us pay $150 to use two smart phones any way we please. I was talking to a friend and youth leader in our congregation yesterday, and she remarked that none -- literally none -- of the working-age girls have jobs this summer. What do they do all day? Beats me. I can't remember a time over the past 15 years when I haven't had some sort of self-earned income.

Nothing good can come from all the free things in the world these days.

I forget sometimes

Sometimes I stumble across my blog after months and months away from it, and it reaches out to me like an old friend. I am so glad I kept this blog. So many things have happened in my life that I have completely forgotten about. I feel like I should write in this blog more. Maybe I will.

My life is so different now than it was in college and in high school when I consistently wrote on here. I loved college. I loved having so many friends to love and care for, who loved me and cared for me. Life now is much more lonely. Which isn't to say I'm lonely. I'm not. But my circle of friends is much smaller and more constrained in their ability to go do things. We have jobs, some have kids, our time is not quite our own like it was during school. I'll never forget in my Media Literacy class, fall semester 2007 (my very last class to graduate), and a kid in my class lamented to Prof. Cutri about an extra assignment he'd given us. "We don't have the tiiiiiiime," he said. Cutri threw his head back and laughed. His words ring in my head. "You will never have this much time for the rest of your life." He was so right, and I don't even have kids yet!

Girls Camp was a success. Exhausting, but a success. I have worried for months about the girls hating it, or leaders sitting around sipping lemonade and talking about how they could have done better. Luckily none of that happened (to my knowledge at least). I truly feel that what Heavenly Father wanted to have happen at camp did happen, that is, the girls felt His and the Savior's divine love, and they gained a deeper understanding of the Atonement and its reality. That was my goal. That was His goal. I think it was accomplished.

There was a moment in the middle of the week. I was sitting alone in my room about midday. I'd just fought off a panic attack. I looked heavenward and said, "Father, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than the hardest moments of my mission." Now I had some hard moments on my mission. But being stake camp director honestly trumps them all. First because I am not nearly as close to the Spirit as I was as a missionary. I felt the Spirit work through me often as camp director, but not in the same way as a missionary. Second because I don't really like Girls Camp. I went for three days my first year and never went back. I'm glad some girls enjoy the friendship and all the LOUD singing, crafts, etc. I can't really say I do. Maybe I would have at my camp had I not been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week. Alas, one does not relax as stake camp director.

I am going to Utah for my best friend's wedding (no, not like in the movie) in a month and I CAN'T WAIT! First, to see her so beautiful in her dress, second because it will be my FIRST TIME EVER being a maid/matron (gross) of honor!!, third because I will be in Utah which has MOUNTAINS! I will save why I love the mountains for another entry.