My life is so different now than it was in college and in high school when I consistently wrote on here. I loved college. I loved having so many friends to love and care for, who loved me and cared for me. Life now is much more lonely. Which isn't to say I'm lonely. I'm not. But my circle of friends is much smaller and more constrained in their ability to go do things. We have jobs, some have kids, our time is not quite our own like it was during school. I'll never forget in my Media Literacy class, fall semester 2007 (my very last class to graduate), and a kid in my class lamented to Prof. Cutri about an extra assignment he'd given us. "We don't have the tiiiiiiime," he said. Cutri threw his head back and laughed. His words ring in my head. "You will never have this much time for the rest of your life." He was so right, and I don't even have kids yet!
Girls Camp was a success. Exhausting, but a success. I have worried for months about the girls hating it, or leaders sitting around sipping lemonade and talking about how they could have done better. Luckily none of that happened (to my knowledge at least). I truly feel that what Heavenly Father wanted to have happen at camp did happen, that is, the girls felt His and the Savior's divine love, and they gained a deeper understanding of the Atonement and its reality. That was my goal. That was His goal. I think it was accomplished.
There was a moment in the middle of the week. I was sitting alone in my room about midday. I'd just fought off a panic attack. I looked heavenward and said, "Father, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than the hardest moments of my mission." Now I had some hard moments on my mission. But being stake camp director honestly trumps them all. First because I am not nearly as close to the Spirit as I was as a missionary. I felt the Spirit work through me often as camp director, but not in the same way as a missionary. Second because I don't really like Girls Camp. I went for three days my first year and never went back. I'm glad some girls enjoy the friendship and all the LOUD singing, crafts, etc. I can't really say I do. Maybe I would have at my camp had I not been running around like a chicken with my head cut off all week. Alas, one does not relax as stake camp director.
I am going to Utah for my best friend's wedding (no, not like in the movie) in a month and I CAN'T WAIT! First, to see her so beautiful in her dress, second because it will be my FIRST TIME EVER being a maid/matron (gross) of honor!!, third because I will be in Utah which has MOUNTAINS! I will save why I love the mountains for another entry.
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