Miracle on Lisa Ward Street

Last week I thought twice about something that's happened a fair amount during the bleed portion of my pregnancy, i.e. gushes of fluid. I've never thought much about them; I figured they were part of the bleed rearing its head. But last week as I felt another fluid gush, I thought twice.

I went in for another ultrasound Monday (I'd had one the week prior) and was called Tuesday afternoon saying I needed to come in Wednesday. "It's not an emergency," they said. "So can we talk about it over the phone?" I asked. "No, you need to come in." Blurg.

The next 24 hours were pretty excruciating. Tuesday night I focused on our brand new Drexel Declaration buffet (thank you Craigslist - p.s. this is not our house), and Wednesday I stayed focused at work. I asked God Wednesday morning that he might let my brave women (my spirit world angels) be with me all day, that they might be instructed to whisper kind things to me all day, that they might say things to build my confidence and assurance in the health of my baby.

The drive to the OB's office felt faster than usual. As always, my blood pressure was high. It always is when I go there. Dr. D. saw me right away and launched into it.

Based on Monday's ultrasound, the baby was measuring two weeks behind. Amniotic fluid was low. The placenta is detached in multiple places thanks (no thanks) to the bleed. I took the news calmly. I could feel my brave women with me, helping me. He explained some things; luckily I have researched all the possible side effects of a hematoma, so I was well aware of everything he said. Baby might be in distress and his kidneys might not be functioning well, so his fluid production is lessened, etc. A bunch of hypotheticals.

Dr. D. referred me directly to the perinatologist department at the neighboring hospital for further evaluation. I figured I'd have to wait a week. To my surprise, the office called and said come over now. I hadn't even left Dr. D's parking lot yet.

I was immediately seen by their senior-most sonographer, who has 30 years of experience. She looked at the baby's organs, his limbs, she measured him, she measured his fluid, she measured the bleed, she looked at the placenta. It was a long ultrasound. She updated me on most things as she went. The perinatologist came in to review the report. I didn't know what to expect; I just hoped Dr. D's sonographer (who I love and trust) had been wrong.

She was wrong about a few things. First, baby is measuring right on schedule. He weighs 1 lb 11 oz. His vital organs were all functioning normally, including his kidneys which produce the urine which is amniotic fluid. That said, his fluid is lower than we thought, 6 cm of fluid (normal is 8-18 cm). The cause of that is undetermined. They couldn't find a rupture in the sac membranes. The bleed is now small to medium in size, is inactive, and is located behind the placenta, so the placenta is detached where that bleed is. It's also detached in other places where the bleed once was. She measured my cervix, which had been measuring short for weeks, but she measured it above 3 cm, which is normal.

My baby and I are walking statistic breakers. There's a 1% chance of having a subchorionic bleed, and an even smaller chance of it never going away like mine. There's a 1% chance of detached placenta, about a 5% chance of shortened cervix, a 0% chance of a cervix thickening. Dr. D. told me, reassuringly, that every patient he's had that's had a bleed as large as mine as early as I did in the pregnancy ended up losing their baby. It really is nothing short of a miracle that I still have mine and that he is normal.

I felt my brave women with me all day and all through my appointments. People often look at me like I'm crazy when they ask about my pregnancy and I tell them all these horrible things. They are indeed horrible things, and I should be a basket of nerves and tears. But I'm not. I know this baby will be okay. I am learning so much more about the Lord's love, the Atonement, and how they apply to all the things we go through in life. I've wondered, How does Christ even understand what I'm going through now? He has never carried a child. But, Christ has given life to the dead. He experienced the same worries and fears and uncertainty that I am experiencing now. He can empathize with me, and that is enough for Him to know how to succor me. He has sent my brave women to me to succor me. I have been told they know what I am going through and they know how to help me. I have felt their healing hands upon me and know they are there for me when I call upon them. I love them, my brave women.