Hey blog

Long time, no blog.

It's been a busy year. Oscar is almost 14 months, crawling everywhere, standing everywhere, scared to walk. He eats anything and everything, usually, and is eating a ton. He's still a tiny guy. It's fun to watch this tiny little dude do all these big kid things. Plus he is the perfect size for holding.

Everyone says, "It's different when it's your own baby." Everyone is right. All those times I'd babysit as a kid and couldn't wait for the parents to get home, I don't really feel any of that with Oscar. I mean, sometimes I look forward to Jeff getting home, but mostly so we are all home together.

Adjusting to motherhood was really difficult for me. I fell into patterns of crippling anxiety, couldn't sleep, and ended up getting on meds. It was the right decision for me. Within days, I felt almost like myself again. I'll start weaning off of them soon. I hope it goes well.

I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned since becoming a mother is to accept myself for who I am and focus on what is truly important. There are times I really don't want to do all the mom stuff, and that's okay. I weigh more right now than I have, perhaps ever, and that's okay. I'm not perfect, and I don't really try to be, but I do my best and accept that as enough.