alone but not alone

Today was an odd day.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning for no reason. I remembered four dreams. They were all about the same person, except for one. I finally fell back to sleep around 4:30, but when I woke up again at 7:30, I didn't remember any of them.

I hung out with Ryan after work today. Ryan my summer '05 fling. He is still intimidated by me and doesn't talk much. I randomly saw two people I know on the street when I was with him: first Alejandro at the Shake Shack, and then Ellie in Union Square. We sat in the park for a short while, and every place smelled like dog pee. Then we went to Strand and I bought Geoff his book.

We parted ways about 7:15. I walked over to Madison Square Garden to meet up with Lani. While there I saw Lauren and Scott, two high school friends. They live in Brooklyn.

Lani and I went to Billy's and shared a slice of banana cake with cream cheese frosting. I bought lemon lime selzer water at Rite Aid. It was gross, but the lady who I bought it from was Jamaican.

Then we walked back to Union Square and I bought bread, salad and pasta at Trader Joe's. We got on the L train. Everyone got off our car at the 6th Avenue stop, and we were going to 8th, so we danced and frolicked in our car since we were the only two people. I've wanted to do that ever since I got here. Now it's done.

I got on the A train, and who do I sit next to but Hot Pocket (this nickname refers to a young man who asked a friend of mine out on a date -- for a picnic -- and brought chicken and cheese Hot Pockets as their entree). Luckily Hot Pocket was so engrossed in whatever he was drawing, he didn't notice me. Even I didn't notice him until two stops before mine.

The ceiling in Phil's apartment caved in, at least in the bathroom, so he's coming over to take a shower. But it's 11. So I'm going to bed.

I have an insatiable desire to go to Coney Island, probably by myself. I am going to Sonic Youth by myself on Saturday, after I spend the day record shopping in Chelsea. But I can't wait, you see, because I love being by myself in big crowds and feeling alone but not alone.