Love me the way I love you.

When I was a little kid, I really loved Ernie and Bert from Sesame Street. I love Ernie the most. Ernie had the greatest laugh--a wheezle, I will call it, because he wheezed and cackled. Ernie sang the best songs. "I'd Like to Visit the Moon," "Imagine That," and of course "Rubber Duckie." Ernie was always a tried and true friend and never had anything mean to say about anyone. Ernie was a little bit of a bum, seeing as how he didn't have a job, but Bert wears the pants in that friendship anyway.

I got Bert and Ernie dolls for a present at my second Christmas. My parents have pictures of how happy I was. Granted, it's not hard to please a little kid, but I was beaming. I continued beaming all seven years I had these dolls.

They went everywhere with me for the space of those years. Well, Ernie did. Bert had to stay behind a lot of the time because two dolls was one too many. But we played and we laughed. Mostly, Ernie liked to snuggle with me in bed. He was a good friend.

By the time my dolls died, they were scuffed and worn. Ernie's left arm hung limply and uselessly at his side, the stuffing long since departed. Bert fared a little better, since he didn't play with Ernie and I too often. Despite the poor physical shape, they still emanated the same energy, and made me feel as happy as I did that first Christmas we spent together.

Before we moved into the house my parents live in now (summer of 1993), my mom had a big garage sale. For some reason, she decided Bert and Ernie needed to move on, and there was nothing I could do to change her mind. There they sat, with all the stuffed animals I didn't care about, like pawns. Like useless, poly-blend throw-aways you win at a carnival. Bert and Ernie were not that to me. They never could be. So I sat at the money table with my mom, all day, pondering what life would be like without Bert and Ernie, angry with her for telling me my most prized possessions weren't worth the move.

Anyway, I am going to see Busdriver and Daedelus tonight, and I am really excited. I'm excited for Alex to come with me too, because he will meet my best friends Capree and Brady. Yay!!!

Yesterday I felt like running away. I haven't felt like that in a long time. I didn't run away though.

I can't believe it's almost November. I can't believe I'm done with college in a month-and-a-half. Gulp.