I'm breaking up with you, Ziggy.

Here is why.

1. In high school when we were in my room with my door shut, my parents would get really mad at me.
2. You are too needy.
3. You've sucked my little brother under your spell.
4. You make me act silly and goofy.
5. Last night, because of you, I got a speeding ticket coming home from Park City. It was your fault Ziggy, not mine. If the buildup from "Moonage Daydream" to "Starman" were less good, it wouldn't have happened.

I'm sending you the bill, David Bowie.