Let me not be too consumed.

My new friend Martin isn't just any kind of friend. He's a duck. A baby duck. A duckling. He's soft and furry and yellow and makes this delicate little "cheep cheep" sound all day long. Only problem is in that last sentence--the "all day long" part. Because Martin won't freaking SHUT UP! I am just counting my blessings that I don't have to sleep in the same room as that annoying little brat! You can read more about him and watch videos of him on Tess' blog. It is definitely worth it, because I doubt any of you have seen a duckling in an attic apartment before.

Today I had my hair did by the magician Patrick Hoyal at Shep Salon in Provo Utah (book at least two weeks in advance). It is my mission haircut. Here is a picture. (Please excuse the bathrobe and poor lighting).


It is layered all around, which will work nicely with my waves in the humidity. It is also much darker than the blond it was only earlier today, which was necessary to soften the growout blow. It is the mark of beautiful craftsmanship all around, but I won't look like myself for a few more days. I guess I mostly don't like it because I left my dark hair behind a while ago. Dark hair is old Lisa. Blonder/lighter hair was new Lisa. And that was the Lisa I know. I guess I should probably stop defining myself by my hair though.

Things are changing very quickly. I move home to California next Tuesday. I leave on my mission three weeks from today (Wednesday). Sometime during those short weeks, Alex and I are breaking up. Suddenly I feel like my life is moving around me while I stand still. I have prepared for these things for a while, so now that they're happening, it only feels like a natural course. Like moving from one class to the other during passing period. There are little occurrences in each class period, but my sights are set on the end-of-the-day bell.

In anticipation of these changes, my brain has been blessing me with vivid and horrific dreams. Last week, I found myself the oldest of four siblings. My brother in the dream, who had terrifically blond hair, decided to murder everyone who was in our house at the time, which happened to be our old neighbors' house, which happened to be everyone we knew because we were hosting a party. After killing everyone but me and our other siblings, my brother fell exhausted in the master bedroom. During this time I swiftly packed my bags and left the house. I made it to the driveway and then the dream was over. No driving away. No walking into the sunset. It ended on the driveway.

"To dream that you are murdered, suggests that some important and significant relationship has been severed and you are trying to disconnect yourself from your emotions. It also represents your unused talents." - taken from Dreammoods.com

"To dream that you are a hostage, indicates that you are feeling victimized and powerlessness. You may also be feeling limited in your choices or physically immobilized. Perhaps this dream is paralleling some situation/difficulties in your daily life or relationship. Alternatively, it suggests that a part of yourself is not being fully expressed." - dreammoods.com

"To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable." - dreammoods.com

Last night I dreamed that I couldn't stop throwing up. I threw up on everything, like Chunk in the movie theater.

"To dream that you are vomiting, indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go." - taken from Dreammoods.com

Now that you know everything about me, I'm going to go stay out of sight for a long time.