Exit Does Not Exist

I don't know where to start. Let's start with my day.

I got up and decided to take a bath. I turned on the water nice and hot, just the way I like it. I decided I wouldn't turn the fan on because I HATE the noise it makes; it's so disruptive to any kind of relaxation. I took my bath, which went splendidly, then let out the water like normal. I stood up. Whoa, was I dizzy. I braced myself against the cold tile for support, but things were blacking out. I couldn't see straight. My head felt like twenty bricks. My legs gave in under me and I fell. I looked up and saw the ceiling. I tried to get up again. The same thing happened. I wrestled between the shower doors and the wall, trying to keep myself from falling again. It didn't help. Kerplop! Right back into the tub. Third try. I breathed in deeply. By this time I was scared out of my mind, I couldn't breathe, I felt like vomiting, I was weak. I tried getting up again but to no avail. I blacked out. I woke up shortly after and crawled out of the tub onto the bathroom floor. "Mom," I called feebly. I hadn't the strength to speak even at a normal level. And then I remembered: I'd brought my cell phone with me into the bathroom. I called my dad. "Just elevate your feet, Lisa." After doing this for a little while I could see clearly again and felt well enough to stand up. I went into my room and just lay on the floor, freaked out of my mind, crying, not breathing, tripping. It was insane.

Anyway, Katie and I went shopping in Broadway Plaza. Kewl (I hate it when people do that, btw). Stopped by Alex's grandma's house to hug him and kiss Weebee. I love you Weebee. I love you Alex. Coco Mademoiselle and Chance. Remember those two Alex. Coco and Chance.

So tonight.

Celeste and I went up to Dinosaur Hill for a bit and chilled and chatted. Then to Rasputin's in PH where I bought Al Green's Greatest Hits (on the recommendation of many close friends) as well as Modest Mouse's "This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing To Think About." It's a great album. I'm listening to it right now.

Then it was off to Kevin's to pick him up. Then Q-Zar. I'd never been to Q-Zar before and it was SO much fun. I totally understand why guys go all the time. It's addicting. It's like playing a Star Wars video game but in real life. REAL LIFE. Man, that's deep.

Then to visit L Mo on the curb at her mom's. Then to Bea's where Ross was lying on the bed. He didn't recognize me at first (go figure). Finished Waiting For Guffman (sort of). I turned it off when the conversation got too good.

Now here's the thing that made the night great, okay? The conversation. The love. The feeling of belonging. The happiness. The connections. The fun. The sincerity. The intensity. Et cetera.

See there are some times in life when you just know things are going to work out because you have great friends. Sure, they may be 850 miles away most of the year, but they're still there. They're still your friends.

That's the most difficult thing about being away from home, you know? These people you love are 850 + miles away. I mean, that's a lot.

I don't know what else to say except that I love you all. Especially that one person who I toss around more than a salad. And I'm sorry for that. But I probably love you most and that's gotta count for something.

Anyway, let me be frank as long as I can still be garth. I LOVE YOU. AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT.

xoxo love lisa.