Thursday, September 22, 2005

let's have a war

I'm trying to find inspiration for my personal narrative, rough draft due tomorrow, and I want it to be good. Damn good. I just read through a bunch of old blogs to find inspiration and Whoa Man. WHOA. So crazy to see the difference in my mood between October 2003 to April 2004. It's a long roadtrip of happiness until January '04 and then CRASH!, I've driven past the Cliff House and into the ocean. I really loved that guy, that Sloan. It's good to remember once in awhile so I don't forget how to, you know? I mean I've cared about people since then, but nothing like that, not even close. In fact I ended a relationship this summer because of that, because even though he was good it was so far from Sloan that it wasn't even worth it to me. Now I don't even talk to summer guy anymore and I broke his heart and I hate myself for it. But if love's not there, there is no point in staying. I still have no idea what to write about. Rick thinks I should write about our camping trip a few weekends ago; I'm afraid it's cliche. "I love my friends. They are sooooooooo great. We do stuff together all the time. For example, one time Rick, Capree and I went camping up the canyon. It was so fun because we made s'mores and it rained and we picked wildflowers and peed in the grass." Nuh uh man. No freaking way. It is still too fresh to have learned anything from it other than I have two lifelong friends because of it. That is all. I need to start writing it nowwwwwwwww. I <3>