Thursday, November 08, 2012

Blogs

Fundamentally, I like blogs. I like blogging, from time to time, as a means to express something I would like to say. Usually it's an observation on society, or on myself. Sometimes it's frivolous. Sometimes I share music I like (stay tuned for that). I don't post to see how many hits I can get, or for revenue, or even to please anyone else. I just like writing stuff and I happen to have kept this blog since high school, so I may as well stick with it.

Blogs in general, however, are often no longer just a way for people to write stuff down. Now they're full of pictures, coding, graphics. People obviously spend a lot of time making their blogs look pretty. People obviously spend a lot of time making themselves look pretty for their blogs. What are their motives? The opposite of mine, for certain. Some people keep craft blogs. Great, you have a purpose. Design blogs. Those are cool. I like finding new stuff as much as the next person. But what the heck are lifestyle blogs? How do people who have nothing original to say or who do nothing unique have so many followers just for posting a gazillion photos of their babies and their hair-dos they took hours perfecting for an amateur photo shoot?

Recently I watched a video citing numerous made up names, all originating from the great state of Utah. 


The video itself isn't very funny; the names are. As I watched it, I wondered why so many crazy names come out of Utah. Any ideas? I have one, but I hate to mention it as I think it's rather judgmental, though most likely true.

What do weirdo names from Utah have to do with blogs? Just yesterday I was reading my friend's creative and crafty blog, and she linked to some other blog, which I didn't like (lifestyle blog), and she linked to some other blog with the dumbest premise I've ever heard of for a blog. It's a children's lifestyle blog. BORING. It's apparent she's put a lot of time and money into making this blog look fab, and I bet some moms eat this stuff up. There's a 97% chance that any given lifestyle blog is written by an LDS woman or a homemaker from Utah. Guess where she's from. Utah! No surprise there.  Anyway, I'm reading this first entry about a clothing store in Utah called Koo De Ker, featuring some other mommy blogger, who writes (not really writes as she doesn't write--she maintains) a blog on fashion. Wow. Obviously this mom has way too much time on her hands, and too much money. She's loving the camera, really milking these shots. This is the highlight of her day. Now to the best part--her son's name. This fashion blogger's son's name is Hanes. You read that right. H-A-N-E-S. Now stop and think: what comes to your mind? First image that comes to mind is Michael Jordan wearing grey boxer briefs. Hey Michael, how you doing. Second is that jingle from the old Hanes Her Way commercials. Here are two to jog your memory.



As a young child, when I heard this jingle I instantly knew I could improve upon it. So I made up a little song. It went like this: "Hanes Her Way! Your butt's on display. Hanes Her Way! Put on pants, okay?" For anyone reading this who is musically inclined, the melody is: C-E-G, F-E-D-E-C, plus rhythm but I can't annotate that with words. Just know the Hanes Her Way is syncopated.

Part of me thinks that if Hanes had used my jingle, their underwear might be more popular today. Alas. I'll just be contented feeling sorry for the little Utah boy named after underpants.