Nights In White Satin

Have you ever listened to "Asleep" by The Smiths? You have? That's great. You haven't? Go listen to it right now!

Season's End show last night was good. Regan, it was nice touching base with you. Maybe we'll have to do it again. Wait, we're chillin tonight. Okay, well you know what I mean then.

Ladies and Gentlemen we are floating in space. So that's a spiritualized album, but I really feel like I'm floating in space. My life lacks purpose. I continually go to school to achieve this goal, a major, a degree, I'm not sure anymore. I had my audition for the School of Music today. It went well. One of the judges and the accompanist were from the Bay Area, and the other judge's brother used to live in Walnut Creek. Crazy?! For real. They asked me a lot about my choral background and if my interest in Music Education was serious. Well, of course it's serious. That's my ulitmate goal in life: happy family, conductor/composer working relationship with Stephen Hatfield, etc. I mean, I did my senior project on choral conducting. So what does this say, you know?

I had a long talk with my mom today. It felt good. Sometimes I don't just talk to her enough. It turns into yelling and misunderstandings and hostility.

My parents want me to come home for President's Day Weekend now. Crazy how that happens. They think I need a dose of reality and a breather from suffocating Utah. Um yeah, I could've told them that a long time ago. Their minds actually changed when I told my mom last night that I'm seeing a therapist now, and that I'm clinically depressed. Yeah. It's not for certain yet if I'm coming home, but it looks very promising. It's on the condition that I can't see Sloan. But that's too personal for this medium. That's all you really need to know.

Four weeks down, eleven to go. eleven weeks. that's not very long at all. then it's home for the rest of the beautiful Bay Area Spring, then the blissful Bay Area Summer, then it's off to France. France. Wow. I know three other girls going at this point. Courtney, Lindsay, Michelle. All in my building. Lindsay and Michelle are on my floor. But can you imagine what Paris will be like for me? DO YOU REALIZE??? Can you see me wandering through Paris alone with a song in my head and happiness in my heart and perhaps a piece of cheese in my hand? I can. I def can.

Can I just say that I miss my friends back home? I miss Celeste, Sloan, Hannah, Bianca, Kim, Jess, Sam, Alex, McKenna, Annie, my family, Melissa, Ashley, Kevin, Perry (soooo much Perry! It's been the longest since I've seen you), the sun, everyone at church, Camilla, Keri, Emily, Marian, Lyndsey, Elska, Vanessa, Beth, Pasha, Helen! (definitely Helen), and yeah there are many many more. Of course. Of course I miss you all. Everyone.

The new AIR album is very good. Sloan, you are right: it has to grow. It grew really fast, like a beanstalk, for me though and I can't get enough of it. Listening to "Run" right now, and that's by far not even the best song, but it's still so good.

This is a long blog entry, but I haven't had a really long one in awhile. So it's okay. Right?

Yesterday Becky and I testdrove this blue Mitsubishi Eclipse. The color was amazing. Really beautiful. The car saleswoman was so nice. She was from Brazil and told us how she hated BYU because all the Utah girls were so fake and mean. Dood it's so true. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. Okay, so there are of course exceptions, but it's pretty frickin' true. I can't stand it here anymore. I need a breather, like home. HOME. HOME!! It feels good saying home.

It's weird to think that I was in Vegas only a week ago. It feels like an eternity. I feel like time is passing quickly, but maybe so much is happening in a week it feels fast. I don't know. It feels slow. It feels fast. I'm sick of not being able to make up my mind about things.

Should I take a nap before going out tonight? Sure. It's my second of the day. Naps never hurt.

And...the neighbors finally turned off their bass that was so loud I couldn't hear myself think. But now some other stupid girls are yelling in the hallway. So they're not stupid, but when they're squealing like that I sure can't help but think they are.

xoxo lisa.