Origin of Symmetry

Being home is weird. Oh yeah, I'm home for all of you who didn't know. Coming back Sunday, maybe Monday, so don't fret. But yeah, being home is really strange. I think I captured it best when I said to my mom, "It's interesting. Life changes so much every day at college. I change so much. When I come home, everything is exactly the same. The same po-po's prowl the downtown streets, the same gutter punks are hanging outside the theater...life just doesn't change here." So tonight I was chilling in Barnes and Noble with Celeste, and I felt out of place. I felt like Eric should be popping out from behind a corner, or that Eddie's bubbly laugh should be radiating from some nearby table, or that Andrea should be randomly coming into my room...but none of this happened. None of it will happen. It's sad really...when I'm there I long to be here; now that I'm here, I long to be there. "No one is ever happy where they are," says the Prince. He's so right. Just today Eric asked me if I considered Provo "home" yet, and I said. "No. Provo will never be home. Home is always my parents' house." But I almost feel like revoking that. Whether I like it or not, Provo holds a lot of meaning for me right now. It's where my surrogate family is, it's where my life is. Walnut Creek holds little for me other than my own bed, my high school friends, and serves as the primary locale for all my childhood endeavors. Life isn't in Walnut Creek anymore. Life is in Provo. I've finally realized this. I'm finally ready to accept it.