Goodbye 25

I turned 26 Thursday. Some people lament growing older, but I was pretty happy to get away from 25. Don't get me wrong--great things happened all year.

Starting with marrying Jeff Labor Day weekend of last year. Starting CrossFit together and changing our way of life. Losing some LBS. Coming into my own more as a music teacher. Having the receiver of my dreams so our vinyl records finally sound like the should (AMAZING!). Going to Costa Rica and Mexico City. Buying my little car (his name is Franklin). Another niece and nephew entered our families. Lots of great things happened. Many precedents were set. Marriage keeps getting better and better.

Because part of me still lives in junior high, sometimes I catch myself thinking what life would be like if Jeff suddenly wasn't in it. When we were first married and marriage really hadn't set in, I would think, "Wow, yeah, that would really suck. I would miss him a lot." But now it usually brings me to tears to think about it at all. I don't know how women deal with that. Losing their husbands. My Jeff means absolutely everything to me. He is my best friend. Only the Savior and gospel have done more than he has to help me be a better person and reach my goals. He even helped me dye my hair yesterday so I wouldn't have to spend $$$ at my salon to have it done. I mean, what a sweetheart!! Not to mention the trip to Utah next weekend. It is SOOOOO HOT here right now, and there's no sign of getting out of the hundreds anytime soon. What a selfless man. My trip won't be nearly as fun without him there with me, and I will miss him terribly the whole time. But I am so happy I get to go see Mo get married. She is my best friend, my favorite companion from my mission. We had so many fun times, right from the get-go.

It's a rather funny story. There was another sister in our mission who REALLY didn't like me, to the point she spread falsities about me to missionaries and members alike. I am still not sure what her motive was, but I didn't care. There will always be people like that in life. I was sad she happened to be my fellow sister mish! Anyway, Mo was serving with this girl before she came to Waterloo Branch, where I was training Andie. I didn't know Mo too well at the time, so when I first saw her at transfer meeting, I thought I might be in for a long haul. Training Andie AND this new companion who looked SOOO nervous, in a tri-panionship. President had really gone crazy this time. Mo looked on the verge of tears that whole meeting. She was so flustered, wouldn't really make eye contact with me, hung by one of the senior sisters in our mission talking in low voices. Something serious was happening, obviously. I just hoped she left it behind so we could get back to Waterloo and WORK!

Fast forward a few days, and Mo and I were the best of friends. That's when she opened up to me about why she'd been so nervous that first day. Apparently this other sister who didn't like me had told Mo a bunch of mean and nasty things about me. Mo wasn't sure she should believe them, and she said after just a day of being with me and Andie she could tell none of them were true. Of course she told me all the things the other sister had said, and of course none of them were true. We had a good laugh and became the best of friends. We saw so many miracles in working together. Who'd have thought this city girl and that country bumpkin would get along like we did. I can't wait to see her next week! I'll be sure to actually take pics.

This Hurricane Irene thing has opened my eyes to something--how many Latter-day Saints still don't have food storage or any emergency preparedness items. I've been puzzled by the many Facebook status updates I've seen from my LDS friends, where they say they went to the store to buy food and water and there was nothing left! YEAH DUH!! That's why we are counseled to have it already on hand. You can try any excuse (don't have the money to buy extra food, don't have the space for it, I won't ever really need it, etc.), but I feel so strongly of the importance of food storage. Just don't do like I did this last time and buy water in that milk jug type of plastic. I checked on our water supply yesterday (hidden behind our TV table), only to find that our two 2.5-gal. container were completely drained! WHAT?!?! So that's where the leak was coming from when the tenant directly downstairs complained of leaking a few months ago...OOPS! Our gallon jugs were all still intact. Nevertheless, I bought water in better bottles yesterday and we will start drinking these gallon jugs. Make sure you buy water in plastic bottles that say "1 - PETE" on the bottom!!

Today church isn't until 4 pm, and we are only having Sacrament meeting and a LINGER LONGER!! Oh yeah. Hopefully it will be inside because if it is outside we are leaving.

If I could have one wish...

...I would make strawberries in season year round. This latest batch from Costco is sub par. Driscoll's has been pumping out the sweetest, most delectable little morsels all summer, until now. I am so sad.

If I could have two wishes, I would have sung this duet with Jeff at our wedding reception. Heaven knows we love belting it out at home. Tongue in cheek, of course.



I wonder if you all are as weird as we are.

Good times only

Sometimes my man makes me so happy. I love him so much.

I found out about a month ago that my best friend/best mission companion "Mo" (short for Sister Morrill) is getting married Labor Day Weekend. THIS IS GREAT NEWS!! And I am so happy for her. The sad news was that this is also the weekend of my first anniversary with Jeff, which trumps the wedding. One year already! I can't believe it.

I had written off going until a week or so ago, when Jeff and I both started feeling so insane from the heat here that we started toying with the idea of a Utah/Colorado/anywhere trip. This toy wasn't very fun when we saw how much it would cost. So, I wrote it off again. No big deal. It's just my best friend's wedding but no big.

Fast forward to last night when Jeff started looking at flights to Utah again. What? Why? I saw why. He had the best dates and times picked out for me to fly to Utah and be back in time for our Monday off, so we can celebrate our anniversary that day. WOW. He is the best ever! So now I get to have my cake (celebrate my 1st anniversary of ETERNITY with my beloved) and eat it too (go to Mo's wedding!). I am so ecstatic. I fell asleep smiling last night. I woke up smiling this morning. I am smiling as I write this blog post. Jeff Ward is the best husband there ever was!

As soon as Jeff had bought the ticket last night, I called Mo and told her I was coming, but she already knew!! She said Jeff e-mailed her earlier in the week and said he was doing all he could to make it possible for me to go to her wedding. Wow-wee. How special is he?! I am overjoyed.

I started my new calling as choir director today. It went well. Nothing else to report on that front.

Jeff and I teach Primary too. The Valiant 8 class. I told them my birthday was this week. Naturally, the kids wanted to know how old I'll be. I told them to guess. One boy said 38. Another girl said 30.

I need a maroon or dark green something to wear for Mo's wedding. I'm thinking of one of these with a pencil skirt I already own (though I wouldn't mind getting a new one). Tell me what you think!

Number one


Number two


Number three
-- UPDATE: Very unfortunately, this shirt is not available in my size. Phooey! It was my fave.

A few things.

Did I tell you I got my hair cut? No, probably not, because I don't need blogging right now. I realized that the other day. I used to write and blog a lot, about many different things. Mainly about questions I had or minor moral dilemmas or noteworthy happenings. My life is not boring, per se. I am just not struggling, so I don't feel the urge to write.

Or perhaps I am more personal now. I used to write such personal things on the Internet. I don't care to share them anymore.

I would say the latter is the answer. As I analyze my current state of struggle, I realize there are a few things I'm struggling with. I do not care to share them online.

Nevertheless, I got my haircut. My boss somewhat snidely remarked that it's "edgy." "What do we call this look?" he jibed. "I think I'll call it 'edgy'," said like a pompous king who's naming the Universe. (He meant no harm by it. I am only upset he is back from his week-long absence.)

Last week I realized that I have not had a cute haircut since before my mission. I classify cute as a cut more interesting that one length/semi-layered hair that falls below the shoulders. I mean BORING. To me at least.

My new stylist Brandan, who is every bit as fabulous as Patrick (former stylist in Utah)--(and I don't mean fabulous in the homosexual way), took off six or more inches of hair. My horses' tail is reduced to a cute little sprig of heather. I like it very much. Since it's been 100 degrees or more for months and months now, my neck likes it very much too. I feel so much more like myself.

I have given up on so many hopes and dreams I've had throughout my life. Dreams of writing, being a journalist, a singer, a DJ, being in a band, directing a choir, living in New York, etc. My life has definitely not gone any of these ways. I teach music lessons and I work as an admin at an oil and gas firm. The teaching part is great--I love it--the admin part pays my bills and gives me headaches. I'm working out like I should, but I'm not eating as clean as I can and should, and I know it. So I'm guilting myself over it. I'm tired of listening to myself and all my "shoulds" and "wills". I'm just not doing them. I'm capable of many of them, but I'm not doing them. I'm lazy. It's too hard. I can make endless excuses for why I'm not. At the end of the day I'm just not.

Far cry from what I was saying a few posts ago. If you want something badly enough, you'll do it.

I will do "it", in all its many forms. Just not this week. Tomorrow will be a better day :)

People all over the world, join hands.

Jeff and I went to Branson last week for a family reunion. Have you ever been there?

It is a throwback to the '70s. Lots of shows, Dixie Stampede, family-oriented activities, and lots more super fun things to do. We liked it well enough, especially seeing the group "Six."



Boy, that brings me back. I fell asleep in the first half and couldn't sit still for any portions I was awake. It was two hours of beat-boxing torture. Talented guys, sure, but not my cup of tea.

Another highlight of the trip was seeing real, wild foxes everywhere around our hotel/resort. Can't recall seeing one before this. I also loved the 100-degree, worse-than-Houston heat. And the crazy WOD (code for CrossFit workout of the day) that Jeff, his brother Ryan and I did. It involved three 2.5-minute rounds of running up a super steep, long hill (our car struggled to scale it, let alone our legs), then finishing the time with push-ups the first round, air squats the second round and back extensions the third round. I think I actually mixed up the push-ups/squats/back extensions, but you get the picture. We also went boating. I really loved boating. It was my first time on a boat ever, except for fishing boats. We went tubing too! Jeff and I rode together. He tried to stand up a few times and fell off. He also let me push him off one time, which was fun.

I loved spending time with Jeff's family, especially our niece and nephews. Our little nephew Paxton loves me so much! He kept saying "Eesa, Eesa!" when he would see me. And when he wouldn't. Nothing makes me feel more special than a little kid's affection. (Is that weird?)

I have pictures, but somehow I managed to have a weird look on my face in all of them. Next time, I guess.

The best part of the trip for me was definitely going to St. Louis. We spent time with Jeff's grandma, who I've decided is my surrogate Grandma Betty. She is so sweet. Does justice and more to all a grandma should be. Of course, being back in my mission stomping grounds is revitalizing enough. It was so good to see people I taught, see them strong in the gospel. I loved being a missionary!!! Again, I wish I had more pics. Jeff and I aren't picture-type people, I guess.

Jeff takes the GMAT this Thursday. Everyone say a prayer for him please!!

Changes

Last night, Jeff and I went with some friends to Miller Outdoor Theater. It's a huge, obviously outdoor theater here in Houston that puts on free shows for anyone who wants to come. We've seen the Houston Symphony, Chinese Acrobats, Houston Grand Opera Company, Houston Ballet Company, and countless other shows. Last night we saw Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew." It was a great show. Well staged, well acted, well done overall. But this isn't what I want to write about.

As we headed back to our car, we were followed by a young man and his date, who were engaged in a "deep" conversation about Shakespeare, his time period, and themes from the play. The guy apparently loved to hear himself talk, based on some of his inane comments. Such as this: "Some people argue that the British thought the Italians had a glamorous lifestyle, so that's why all of Shakespeare's plays take place in Italy." Or this gem: "The Taming of the Shrew brings up so many human elements and questions. Like, can people change? Is change possible?"

Yes, we were chuckling at him. (Can you blame us?)

Fast forward 22 hours and I'm thinking about change. How ridiculous that guy's scholarly diatribe was. But mainly how I've changed. The terms I would use to define myself today are wholly different than those I would have used five years ago. Even three years ago. Even one year ago!!!

I hear all the time, from co-workers largely, but also from what little TV I watch, that change isn't possible. "That's just the way I am," people say. Lady Gaga preaches we're "Born This Way" and Ke$ha or whoever sings that dumb song says "We are Who We Are." I don't know how anyone can believe this though, because it's not true.

We are all completely in control of who we are. Some people are dealt worse hands in life than others, but we can effect change in our lives in so many ways.

One of my former CrossFit trainers, who competed this weekend in the CrossFit Games, (and ranked in 28th place--INCREDIBLE results for anyone, let alone a first time Games competitor and for someone who's been CrossFitting for only about 18 months) once said, "If you want something bad enough, you'll do it," or something like that. In my experience, he is 100% right.

I sometimes see inconsistencies in myself, and in others, where we say we want something but put forth no effort to get it. Maybe we're lazy. Maybe we lack the know how. Or maybe we really just don't want it all that much.

I'm not going to list all the ways I've changed on here because I think I talk enough about how much I love CrossFit and eating Paleo in daily life so my blog doesn't need to hear about it too. Just know that I will never buy the excuse "I can't" because what you really mean is "I don't really want to." So own it!

At the end of the day (and the end of this rant), I truly believe we can be anything, any way, and anyone we want to be, if we want it badly enough. We can change ourselves--our bodies, our minds, our spirits--if we want it badly enough.

And don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!

Just do your best.

I can't believe this blog goes back to 2003. That's the year I graduated high school.

As I sit here, bored to high heaven here at work, I'm reading a few entries from August of that year, right before I left for BYU. It's so funny to read those, how I wrote back then, how I thought and what I thought about. I fought with my parents a lot then. Every entry mentions it!

So much of my life, I've felt like I don't fit in. This was largely true in high school, and true in college to an extent. I realize now that I'm older, that feeling has gone away. I guess because I don't care what people think of me anymore. Or maybe because I love myself the way I am. I know I have things to work on, but overall, I'm confident, maybe too confident, in who I am.

I've been thinking the past few days, why do people try to fit themselves into things they are not? Myself included in this question.

At the beginning of the year, I took a Kolbe test, which is designed to sum up how my brain functions. Mainly, how I accomplish tasks, how I like to work, how I work best, etc. I took a test analyzing myself, and one that analyzed my perception of my job and the type of work I do here.

Check out my results.

Exhibit A: The results for my brain.



Exhibit B: The results for what I perceive my job requires of me.



Interesting.

Tuesday I had a lengthy phone call with a guy from the Kolbe test company, who broke down for me a few things.

1. If my job isn't already creating high stress for me in my life, it will very soon, and I will neither excel at it nor will I be able to stick with it. Why? Because we are fundamentally wrong for each other.

This isn't news to me. Though the work I do is easy, it is BORING. It doesn't challenge me in any way, I rarely have deadlines, and there is only ONE WAY to complete most of the tasks I'm supposed to.

Counter this with how I like to work: with deadlines, freedom to invent my own way of doing things, loose guidelines, etc.

2. I should find a new job. Well, duh!

3. He recommended I implement a few work habits to maximize my efficiency. For example, find ways to increase risk in my job. Work on a project only until I start getting tired of it; then move onto something else. Don't plan, just improvise. Don't commit to too much, because committing to things will bring you stress. (This is true. Committing to go visiting teaching tonight is giving me anxiety! Not because of the teaching, but because of the commitment!)

4. He said that my whole life, people have probably been trying to break me of my current work habits, unsuccessfully. This is true. So he encouraged me to embrace them. (Take that, Mom and Dad!)

5. He was AMAZED that I can play the piano and sing and have taught myself to play various instruments over the years. He said normally someone with my Kolbe profile would be incapable of doing something like this, unless motivations to do so were very high. I would argue that my motivation to not be punished was high ;). I'm teasing. Music was ALL I wanted to do as a kid.

Overall, he was amazed that I've lasted in this job since August, and is wondering how much longer I'll last (me too). I keep this job out of necessity, because I need a job, I don't want to teach music full time, and I don't view it as a career path. I would teach music lessons as a career LONG before I ever stay an admin. Ugh. Even my job title makes me cringe.

Sometimes we fit ourselves where we don't belong because we feel like we have to. Most of time, our reason is probably not as good, or at least not as stupid. But we do it anyway.

Good news as of late: We have a family reunion in Branson, MO later in July. And then we are going to St. Louis for a few days to see BB's grandma and stomp my old grounds. I need a new swimsuit for Branson. Which do you like better?

Number one:



or number two?

Just say no to drugs

Until two months ago, this was my drug of choice.



Or this.



Or definitely this.



Or this.



Or, because I was trying to hide my drug habit from BouBou, I would drink the 20-oz., 50-cent bottles of crack my grocery store of choice (yeah HEB) tries to pass off as diet soda.

Friday night, BB and I went to our favorite TexMex joint so I could order the same thing I always do, fish tacos. We love this eatery not only for their food, but also because they are the only restaurant we know of, other than the heavenly Chick Fil-A, that serves Coke Zero (choice of crack #1).

When Juan came to get our drink order, I swiftly ordered water with lime. But BouBou lingered. He gave me that look, the sideways one where one of his dimples begs me ever so slightly to give in, to let him enjoy the magnificent bubbles and pseudo guilt-free ecstasy. I gave him the answer I always give when he's going to do something he shouldn't do: "It's your choice." He chose to order the Coke Zero.

In the ultimate test of self-mastery, I took three sips. They each burned down the hatch, like I imagine drinking Drano would feel like. (Did your mom ever tell you drinking Drano would burn up your insides? Mine did. Crazy imagery).

Former roommates will attest to my junkie-like dependence on caramel-colored diet soda. I kept a mini fridge in my room sophomore year, stocked with Diet Coke, so I didn't have to go to the kitchen each time I wanted a Coke. I would drink four cans a day, and maybe even a 44-oz. if I had to stay late at school. When I worked at the Daily Universe, my habit was just as bad. My day didn't start right without a Coke. I am embarrassed to say, that though I was Diet Coke-free for the first few months of my mission, by the time I got to Waterloo, IL, Wal-Mart's prices were too good to resist. My habit was back.

I've started and stopped multiple times since moving to Houston, mostly started again. To no avail. The habit has always returned. "Soda is so refreshing," I would think. "It's so hot. Water won't make me feel better," I would reason. But no more.

What makes this time different?

It was those three, miraculous sips that changed who I am forever. My date with diet soda is over. You see, I am soda free, and I will always be.

BouBou the Birthday Boy

He came home from work less than thrilled.

BouBou was so lucky to teach the same class of students two years in a row. Teach For America may not have delivered on much, but it delivered on the kids. They were the sweetest group of students a teacher could imagine.

BouBou started teaching a new crop last week at the start of summer school, and so far, they are troublesome.

So somebody came home a very grumpy boy. And that's not okay for my BB.

Even though the evening started rough, it ended well, as evidenced by this picture.



I cooked a london broil for dinner--a little too done, but when do I not overcook my meats--and my signature green beans and almonds. Then we went to Costco to buy spinach and salsa, because those are a breakfast food group chez Ward. We closed out our night with the most divine brownie known to mankind, sold only at Barnaby's Cafe in Houston. Wowee. This is a 6" x 6" square of cocoa-infused splendor, topped with homemade vanilla bean ice cream. Party time in my mouth for sure.

He made off with some pretty good gifts. A bunch of shirts, because he (gasp!) wears a small now.



The game "In A Pickle", which neither of us have ever played, but it looked cool.



Converse hi-tops, because every deadlifting Crossfit fool's gotta wear them hi-tops.



A headlamp, both because he wanted one and I have been on an emergency preparedness overload lately.



And the big winner of the night: two tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld's comedy show here in Houston. Yeah, so I went a little overboard this year, but half of this stuff we would have bought anyway. I love you! Mega yay for BB's Birthday!!! Let's do it again!

Birthdays are the best days!

Happy Birthday BB! My sweet Jeff is 26 today. Everybody wish him a happy birthday!

Why I Believe

This is why I eat Paleo.



And if that wasn't enough, read this article.

Another reason I love Houston

Well this is comforting.

Long time comin'

You may have noticed this fancy button that popped up on the right-hand side of my blog around May 1. Maybe you didn't because I haven't posted since then, so you probably haven't been to my blog. Either way, please notice the fancy button on the right hand side of my blog. That one that says: "I'm doing the Whole30" or something like that.

It's on there because BouBou and I are DONE with a clean-eating challenge called, you guessed it, The Whole30. For 30 days, starting May 1, we ate 100% clean. That means no added sugar, no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no soy, no nightshades, for 30 days.

I was skeptical at first. But, my weight had plateaued (I was still getting smaller, but just swapped fat for muscle), we got back from our Easter jaunt feeling like fatties, and we knew it was time to get back to the basics of clean eating.

In the past months, I've lost nine pounds, and I'm two sizes smaller than I was at the beginning. In January, when I started Crossfit and The Zone, I was a snug size 12 and had been for years. Sometimes a 14. Now I'm a tight and toned 10, and at some stores I'm wearing an 8. I still can't believe it. I've never been an 8, and I haven't been a 10 since I think 8th grade or freshman year of high school. My ultimate goal is a 6. Why 6? I don't know. It sounds good. None of my clothes fit anymore. My dresses hang like drapes off of me, I constantly tug at my pants (luckily I scored a pair of bearable pants at Old Navy for $9 a few weeks back. They were tight when I got them. Now they are loose), my shirts sag, and even my undies are having a hard time staying put. I am a new woman. What's more, BouBou is a new man. We loved the Whole30 challenge, and I highly recommend it.

Last night ended our challenge, so to celebrate our hard work, we ate some BlueBell ice cream and cupcakes from Crave. WORST DECISION EVER. I will treat myself from now on by NOT eating those things. Both of us have such horrible sugar hangovers today. I have learned my lesson that sugar is a drug I do not want in my body.

I love the Paleo diet. I feel healthy, strong, my body is morphing into this lean and toned machine in a matter of weeks, and I am vibrant, full of life. My acne is totally gone. I can complete physical tasks I never could before. I'm faster and stronger at CrossFit. This diet is helping me reach goals I've literally had since junior high, but have never had the knowledge, tools, or discipline to obtain. Truly it has been an answer to lifelong prayer.

Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants clearly states that grains are to be "the staff of life," and a few people have asked me how I can justify eating Paleo. A less than common definition of "staff" is "something that serves as a staple or support." The Word of Wisdom outlines daily living and nutrition that will also keep us free from disease, give us energy, and bless us with the assurance of keeping divine commandments. Most Americans consume dirty grains, the kind that are bleached, processed and milled to death until they become blood-spiking toxins that give no nutritional benefit and will leave eaters craving more. The kind of grains I believe are "the staff of life" are clean, untouched and quality. When I have reached my fat loss goals, I plan on incorporating these staples back into my diet.

I just finished reading thist book, which is EXCELLENT by the way, and no we are not expecting. Now I really want to read this book. I am so fascinated by this topic of nutrition and optimal physical performance right now.

As I've commented to my one true love Jeff/BouBou, my entire life I've felt physically inadequate and incapable of athleticism and finesse. Because of CrossFit and clean eating, I've discovered the remarkable creation my body is, and how much more spiritually alive I feel when I'm taking care of my personal temple.

I never thought I could feel such a strong testimony of this topic, but I do!

Mom, Dad and Robert came into town this weekend to drive the Rat back to Utah. Did I mention Jeff and I got a new car back in March? A Ford Fiesta hatchback. I absolutely love it and I'm so glad to drive a car from this decade (the Rat is a 2000 model; so is my old Echo). I wish I had pictures of them being here this weekend, because we had a great time!! They flew in Friday. Dad and Robert left Saturday for Utah, and Mom and I drove up to Tyler to be with Becky and the kids for the weekend. It was fun. I love playing with my sweet nephew Trevor and I wish I could take him home with me. He is a love.

I drove back Sunday night so Jeff and I could hit the beach yesterday with our friends, the Brabazons, who are stealing their sweet daughters away from us to move to Washington state. I am used to beaches like this:



or this:



But what we got was this:



50 feet of washed-up seaweed, no open sand. I've never been so disappointed in my life. The highlight of the day was when BouBou got up on a surfboard and rode it in probably 40 feet. That was pretty cool. Otherwise, I will not be wasting my time with Texas beaches anymore. It's going to take lots of scrubbing to get the sea salt off the Fiesta too.

Houston just keeps giving and giving!

Back in the saddle

As I've posted before, Bou Bou and I follow a diet called "Paleo," which in a nutshell means we eat anything that was around 20,000 years ago and not much more. No grains, no dairy, NO SUGAR. We've never felt better. Sometimes we blur the lines a little by treating ourselves to a milkshake or Chick Fil-A, but we don't tow the line too much, especially when it comes to eating sugar. (This is the best article I've seen recently on the nasty effects of sugar on the body).

Until this weekend. We drove up to Tyler, TX to see my sister and her family, who arrived there Thursday for the summer sales season. We got there Friday night, already having eaten. My sister texted on our way up, asking if we'd join them for dessert that night. Sure, we thought. Why not. We went to an amazing frozen custard place and shared a concrete. Not too bad. More sugar than I'm used to at this point, but not so overwhelming I felt sick.

Ravenous the next morning, I woke up to a pantry and fridge full of grains and sugar-laden food. Powdered donuts, baked chips, bread, bagels, candy, cookies, you name it. Then light yogurt (aspartame has similar effects on insulin level that sugar does, so it's still bad), Crystal Light, diet soda, hot dogs (mechanically separated chicken, pork and beef in one saturated fat laden cylinder), cheese, cream cheese in the fridge. Eggos, ice cream and chicken nuggets in the freezer, plus a tub of pre-cooked brisket slathered in sugary BBQ sauce for Easter dinner. The only thing edible in the entire fridge were the eggs. You're probably thinking, "But this is what's in my fridge too!" And it used to be in my fridge too (except for the hot dogs).

Let me cut to the chase. After a weekend of eating the processed, pre-cooked, heat from frozen junk most Americans call food, Jeff and I were physically ill. The 4-hr drive back to Houston last night was absolutely miserable. I felt fatigued, nauseated, we had headaches, we were close to vomiting, we wanted to die.

There's real food and then there's fake food. Real food is found on the perimeter of the grocery store. It either used to eat something or came from something that used to eat something (eggs), or it grew in the ground. It has no additives, nothing bromenated, no partially hydrogenated oils, no trans fats. It definitely has NO CORN SYRUP AND NO SUGAR.

Jeff and I eat small portions of meat or eggs at each meal. Coupled with that are fresh vegetables. We eat one serving of fruit with breakfast usually. We add a few nuts and seeds or good oils to each meal. Upon finding out what we eat, a few people have commented to me, "Wow, your food bill must be insane buying all that meat and fresh produce." But it's not. I buy meat on sale. I buy in-season produce. Once I splurged and bought grass-fed ground beef (I plan on doing this more--the nutritional benefits are worth the price). I do mostly buy no hormone/steroid/organic chicken, but I'd rather buy full free range (not the pasturized free range imposter though!) There are ways to eat healthy and stay in budget.

My moral: If you often feel tired and achy, lack energy, crave sweets, if your energy levels crash, you can't lose weight/you gain weight, nothing cures your acne, (and the list goes on and on), you probably need to remove some foods from your diet. Going Paleo is the best thing Jeff and I have done for our bodies EVER. Jeff is at a weight he hasn't been at since junior high, I believe. I'm at a weight I last saw freshman year of high school. We are also lean! Jeff is so close to his goal of a six pack, and my hip rolls are finally small bumps instead of giant hills. Give it a try for one week and feel the difference! I promise you will not be let down!

Rumbly in the tumbly

Health insurance. A heated topic among many Americans. After my experience yesterday, I have some clue why.

My most "generous" employer (I should add "selectively") provides me health and dental insurance with no detriment to my wage. How nice! I do not have vision coverage, which for my four eyes, means I fork over a few hundred dollars a year in optometry visits and new contact lenses. I haven't had new glasses frames for probably five years; no new lenses for three. My glasses see my face for an hour before bed, if they're lucky, so I'm not as concerned with these, but I do need them.

Since being back from Costa Rica, I've suffered from "bowel issues." (They say the water is safe to drink there!!) Jeff hasn't developed any troubles, so I'm not sure what I ate or drank that spawned this fun. He thought I should see a doctor as soon as we returned to the States. I would have, but I'd never used my health insurance, so I was wary of the cost of seeing a doctor, especially since we spent a wad in CR.

Finally, yesterday, after 2.5 weeks of unpredictable intestinal fistfights, I decided it was time to pay The Man and get some antibiotics. I had no clue what my co-pay was, or even if I had a co-pay. I saw a PA for 15 minutes, long enough for her to diagnose me with what I'd diagnosed myself with, thanks to mayoclinic, and send in a scrip for some bug killers, and send me back up to reception to pay.

My heart raced. How much will this visit be? $25? $50? $100? No. It couldn't be over $100, I thought.

I was shocked when I was charged $117.34. All out of pocket. Insurance paid nothing.

This is how the real world is? This is why the little man wants Obamacare? This is why so many other countries have socialized medicine? This is why I want to find a new job? This is why insurance companies are evil? This is why I will procrastinate seeing a doctor, even in a matter of life or death? Because the partners at the company I work for make hundreds of thousands of dollars each per year, and I make about 4.6 percent of what they make? What if BouBou and I accidentally get pregnant? Literally, we couldn't afford our baby!!!!

It makes me sick. Many of you are probably worse off. I feel cheated. I don't think I'm alone in this either!!!

Everything happens to me.

Why is it that every time one is preparing to leave on a trip, the world collides?! This has been one crazy week.

Tuesday night I had a work dinner to attend. At 6 pm, I went out to my car (I was luckily already at home) and tried to turn it on. No go. Tried it again. No go. Lights were going on normally, the engine just wouldn't turn over. I knew it wasn't the starter--our mobile mechanic, Big John, installed a new one in your fall (Houston's endless summer). The Saturn did this once before because of corrosion on the battery cables. I ruined a perfectly good boar bristle hairbrush dusting off the battery system, and still, no go. By this point I knew the car wasn't going to start through anything I did to coerce it, so naturally, I said a prayer. Suddenly my kind French neighbor, who also loves working on cars, appeared out of thin air, and asked me to start it again, which I did. No sooner had a turned the key that he started yelling in his accent so thick you think he's still speaking French, "SMOKE!!!! FIRE!!!!!" Smoke was billowing out from under the hood of the Saturn aka the Rat, on some wires right behind the engine block. He ran upstairs to grab water from his apartment while I uselessly tried blowing out the flame (it wasn't a birthday candle; I probably made it worse; what was I thinking?!)

Jeff and I have been wanting to bag the Rat since we married. That thing is 11 years old! It''s seen me through thick and thin and got me moved to Texas in one piece, not to mention the thousands of miles my sister and her husband put on it in the six years they had it. Yes, it was time to purchasae.

We've been saving a healthy down payment, waiting for the right time, or until the Rat finally succumbed to the poison that is Saturns. In preparation we test drove a few small cars, but the one that stood out was the Ford Fiesta. It used to be in the States, then it was only in Europe the past decade or so, and Ford just brought it back this year. It is a NEAT little car. Gets excellent mileage, cool features inside (I can stream music via Bluetooth from my iPhone and of course have a hands-free system built in to the car). I am really digging it. I was surprised to see that it is a highly rated little vehicle, and even beats out the Honda Fit! I've never been into Fords, but so far, so good!

So after the car got rocked this week, Friday morning rolled around. Jeff and I got up for Crossfit at 4:25, like we always do MWF, and trekked the 15 minutes drive to CrossFitWestHouston (CFWH). Unfortunately our instructor had an alarm malfunction!! Happens to the best of us, but I was REALLY looking forward to the WOD.

Came home and turned on NPR only to hear that Sendai, Japan, where my brother Michael is serving an LDS mission, was bludgeoned by an 8.9-magnitude earthquake and a tsunami that's obliterated the entire coastal region of Sendai. It was a LOOOONNNNGGGGGG day of waiting, patiently waiting, scouring news web sites, searching for reports of how many dead, where was hit worst. We heard bits and pieces throughout the day, but it wasn't until 11:45 pm or so that an Area Authority of the LDS church in Sendai called my parents, saying he had spoken to Michael personally and knew he was well. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I would say this is the biggest personal scare I've ever had in my life. Michael means the world to me as far as siblings go. He and I have always really understood each other, without having to say much to get there, and I would miss him so badly.

At the same time, I have a knowledge that I would see MIchael again should he have been fatally wounded in this crisis. Through the Plan of Salvation (or Plan of Happiness), I know why I am here on earth, where I go after, and what happens next. I know it because I feel this strong feeling in my heart every time I study it, or read about it in the Book of Mormon and the Bible, or read the words of the prophet Thomas S. Monson. That feeling is the Holy Spirit of God, or the Holy Ghost, confirming truth for me. It is the best feeling (see verses 22-23) in the world, not only to feel the Holy Ghost confirm truth, but also to know our Heavenly Father loves us enough to teach us these truths Himself, through the Holy Ghost.

Now that Michael is well, I'm realizing just how many people in Sendai are not so lucky. The photos are awful. I don't know how you'd even begin to clean up the mess that tsunami left. There will be much work to do.

In 5.5 hours, Jeff and I will be on a plane to Costa Rica!! I am so grateful to know MIchael is okay, BEFORE we leave.

Life is good!!! Pura vida!!

Five more days, then I'm running away

Exactly five days from this moment, my sweet Bou Bou and I will be boarding a flight to Mexico City, then on to Costa Rica!!! I cannot wait!! I have spent the past few months poring over the Interwebs, trying to find the best places to stay and see and go. Our trip is narrowed down to places I'm sure we will love! The first half of our trip, we are staying in rural Costa Rica. I am especially excited about this portion of the trip. We live in the heart of Houston, Texas, which if you didn't know is the fourth largest city in the U.S. and the largest city in the state of Texas. Each day we battle traffic along the dreaded Westheimer Road, an eight-lane mini highway not far from our home. I believe I have mentioned it before. If not, just know it is the most stressful road I've ever driven on, and unfortunately, everything we need is off this road. Blech.

Needless to say, I wanted to forgo the resort-style vacation and head into uncharted territory. These rural locations in Costa Rica are sure to be relaxing, and beautiful!

Hanging bridges in Las Heliconas Rainforest


Rio Celeste River and Waterfall


We will see many exotic animals, like monkeys, sloths, toucans, and many bugs and birds the US will never see. But the highlight of our trip will surely be the Monteverde Extremo Canopy zipline tour. The video below is a little long; I recommend skipping to the 6-minute mark to see the "Superman" portion of the tour. Or, if you want a real treat, watch the whole thing so you can listen to the funny things the German guy who made the video says. For example: "I didn't bought a hike!" and "I can't feel my legs back! And my bones!!"

Costa Rica Monteverde Extremo Canopy 2010 HD from philipp runk on Vimeo.

After this fun-filled first few days, we will travel down to Manuel Antonio, which is supposed to have some of the best beaches in the country. MA is also much busier than the places we will have previously stayed, so it will be interesting to be in a more tourist-driven area.

Our last day we will fly to Mexico City and tour Teotihuacan! I can't wait for that!!!

Other than these fun activities, the thing I'm most excited for is the FOOD!! Costa Rican food looks delicious. Lots of black beans and rice, meat, plantains, and plenty of fruits and vegetables. Yum!

Pura vida!

To Brandon Davies

Whatever you've done, we don't care. Just beg for absolution and get back on the court. Link to KSL article

The worst night of my life.

Not really the worst night of my life, but it was the worst I can remember for a really long time.

Each year the Houston Rodeo comes to town. Ever since I was a kid, I've always glamorized rodeos, probably because I've never been to one. I'd watch the bull and bronco riding on TV, the calf roping, the clowns getting manhandled by the bulls, the riders flying off and miraculously not dying...I couldn't get enough of it. I loved barrel racing too, because it was milder, gentler, and the horses weren't mean!

I'd always surmised those broncos were a special breed of horse that was really angry all the time, and flailed about when provoked by a rider. Same with the bulls. When I got older I realized the broncos and bulls weren't bucking just because they wanted the riders off their backs. The real reason made me uncomfortable--it sounded so painful--so I stopped watching. But secretly I still love the rodeo, or the idea of it.

So this past weekend, Jeff and I ventured to the rodeo, not for an actual rodeo, but for the World BBQ Championship that kicks off the Houston Rodeo each year.

Mmmmm. Ribs.



We were so excited. All day Saturday I ate minimally in anticipation of the BBQ feast, greater than any Thanksgiving dinner, more delicious than ambrosia itself. BBQ is the best way to cook meat. I couldn't wait to binge on succulent sausages and breathtaking brisket and palate-puckering pulled pork. Oh man, I am hungry now! And I was hungry then. Ravishing even.

Our friends, Jorge and Danielle, had our tickets, so we decided we'd meet up with them once we got to the BBQ. BAD IDEA.

Traffic kept us captive for an hour. Finally we pulled in to the old Astroworld lot. "How much?" Jeff asked. "Twenty dollars," the lady said. I gasped. "Twenty dollars? What does that even go toward?" I asked. Twenty dollars to park on some grass? NUTS! Without even making eye contact, the lady said, "Oh it goes for scholarships for the kids and things like that." Psh. Scholarship my lands, keep padding your pockets Reliant Stadium. You suck.

We prodded along with the rest of the cattle, maneuvering a rocky road, over the highway, to the stadium. And then we waited. Jorge and Danielle were stuck in traffic too. We waited, and waited, and waited. The old Primary song, "Pioneer children sang as they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked" kept running through my mind. Except they words for me were "waited and waited and waited and waited," etc. I was going ballistic. The people watching was prime, but the whole poseur one-night-only cowboy look lost its humor pretty quickly. As did watching all the skimpily dressed girls, many of whom would've been wise to cover up. Funny how public events give certain classes of people cause for, uh, "dressing up." Or out. You know what I mean.

We waited for over an hour. If you've ever had to be with me when I haven't eaten in a long time, I'm sorry. I get really grumpy and really mad, and I hate everything and everyone. I was in this mode when we got to Reliant. You can imagine how saintly my Jeff was that night to put up with me.

Jorge and Danielle finally got into the BBQ, unfortunately on the other side of it. They maneuvered their way over to the gate where Jeff and I were waiting. Finally, I thought. Sweet BBQ is mine!! But not so fast: Jorge said, "We are leaving." What?! "Someone stole my wallet," he said. So off they went.

Jeff and I decided to walk around and start finding some BBQ. Only, all the BBQ was inside these booths, protected by policemen. What was the deal? Our tickets online said we were getting a BBQ plate with this, so where is ours? After wandering around in a starvation-induced stupor for ten minutes, we finally asked a policeman what the deal was. "Oh, these booths are all private parties. You have to have a pass to get in." He didn't know how to get a pass, and by this point, we didn't care. EVERYONE in there was drunk. Everyone was loud, obnoxious, inebriated, I probably stepped in vomit ten times. It was awful. Trying to be positive, Jeff suggested we go to the carnival. On a normal night, I would have been all over that--I'd been admired the gigantic ferris wheel on the horizon all night--but not this night. I have never wanted to get out of a place so badly.

"What's going to make this better for you, my love," my sweet Jeff asked. There was only one place that could ever do me right at a time like this, and he knew it.

On the way to our magical place, we played the only music healing enough to soothe the weary soul and stomach at a time like this: Third Eye Blind's self-titled album. We pulled into the parking lot, blasting "Narcolepsy," competing against the volume with our own singing. Two teenagers were in the car next to us. They thought we were nuts. They have no clue about the '90s.

I ate delicious chicken and dumplings at Cracker Barrel that night, Jeff had fried shrimp and even splurged with some mac and cheese. Food has never tasted so good. A night has never turned around so quickly, or so well. I love my Jeffy.

And I hate the Houston Rodeo.

This just in

I love my husband.

Gifs by Oriza - Nice gifs, poems scraps

my top ten

Things currently driving my passion:

1. Costa Rica---only two more weeks, my passport FINALLY came, not looking forward to wearing synthetics and ugly sandals for a week
2. CrossFit---I finally have a bum that's not so flat-as-a-pancake, and my body is always sore, BUT I'm also in probably the best shape of my life.
3. The Zone/Paleo---wellness is 80% nutrition and that is definitely true!
4. chocolate cinnamon bears (not Zone/Paleo approved)---Cade is a saint for sending us a bag (actually two--USPS lost the first one and they wonder why they're going bankrupt), I may enlist you for monthly shipments
5. Wee Musicians---mid-century prints, so adorable, I saw an overpriced trio of them at The Guild Shop (Houston's BEST thrift/consignment shop) and haven't stopped dreaming of them after passing them up
6. bettering myself--weight loss (17 pounds so far! I am fitting in clothes I haven't fit in for a while, dropped a pant size and shirt size)
7. purging--not the eating disorder kind of purge, just the kind where I rid my life of unproductive things. Namely surfing the Internet. It's so fun, but I still have sewing projects to start/finish and the www is not helping much.
8. how I want to parent--Jeff and I are both getting baby hungry, which I think is a good thing. Something not exactly good are all the kids we've been around lately who have MAJOR behavioral issues, that seem to be perpetuated by their parents. We are pretty sure this one kid at church is going to turn into a serial killer. He made the strangest comments when we subbed his class in Primary a few weeks ago. We are talking a lot about how we want to raise our kids: handle good and bad behavior, discipline, teach, etc. Luckily we agree on most everything.
9. cooking a whole chicken -- this one is kind of weird. I cooked a whole chicken for the first time last night. Reaching into the cavity and pulling out the giblets was pretty disgusting. Worse though was rinsing the chicken and patting it dry. It felt like a baby. I was traumatized at first, but I'd do it again and again for the price. $4.75 for a 5-lb. chicken that fed us, the sister missionaries, is giving me lunch today, and Jeff and I enough meat for our salads tonight. $4.75 gets us about four chicken breasts, if I can find it on sale.
10. Gardening -- we started a garden share with a family in our congregation. The wife is an agronomist. She's been growing organic for five years or more. Can't wait for our harvest. We are learning a lot about Houston's growing seasons. There are two: Spring and Fall. Spring season you plant in February and harvest in April. The garden can't survive the hot, sticky summers and all the mold and fungus the season brings. Plant again in August, harvest in October, often through the winter. Jeff and I are scheming on how to turn our small patio into an urban garden paradise. Perhaps tiered grow boxes. I'm not sure...all I know is we need to plant soon! Like last weekend!

What spring projects do you have planned?

Killer squirrel

I have been wondering lately why I don't really like Houston.

Houston is very big. Not big in the there's-something-cool-around-every-corner big, like New York, or the Bay Area, or European cities. Just big. Strip mall big. Every day I drive by thousands of strip malls, seedy shops where immodest clothes are proudly displayed, fast food joints and greasy Chinese takeout places and lots of beat up cars that badly need body work done. Drivers are either really dumb or really aggressive. I am constantly worried about our apartment being broken into, or Jeff getting jumped at work (he works in the ghetto), or Jeff getting in a car crash, or blowing a tire on the crazy pot holes all over Houston's roads. Every day I dread the summer. If you have never been to Houston in the summer, you are lucky. It is disgusting. The weather here is already getting disgusting. Humid, warm, sticky, and the a/c in the Rat stopped working. In summer there is little respite from the weather. The pool helps, and cold showers, but otherwise you live in a steam room.

It is a noisy city. Noisy with traffic, filth, ugly music. But also birds songs I hadn't previously heard, and kids sometimes, and the NPR affiliate is really good, except for during pledge times when I can't stand it anymore. I mean we donate to KUHF but they never stop begging for money.

I was thinking about all the places I've lived that I've loved. Which is everywhere. And places I've visited that I've loved. Of course Europe--London and Paris, San Francisco and most of the Bay Area, I really love Utah and the idea of Utah. I love Colorado. I love most of California.

But like our friend Lars said last night, "It's all about the people, right?"

Sure, Lars.

What brought all this on was realizing that none of my favorite memories have anything to do with being in Houston. Some of my favorite memories occurred here, but they could have occurred anywhere. I feel nostalgic for other cities and towns because of the memories I made there, that could only be made there.

Also, my office window overlooks the roof of some administration building for the University of St. Thomas here in Houston. It's an old house that's been converted into office space. Squirrels are constantly playing the roof; you can frequently find me procrastinating by watching these crazy rodents. They are nuts. It's like WWF wrestling up here.

I mention it because I just looked over at the roof, and a squirrel slithered out from between the roof tiles and wooden frame. It was really creepy. Considering the vivid dreams I'm having lately, I will probably dream about a killer squirrel tonight. Oh great.

Happy Hallmark Day

Hey everybody. Happy Valentine's Day.

Valentine for Perfect Strangers from House of Bath on Vimeo.

What is and isn't

I remember how I felt the day I discovered my dad had a jumprope.

Mine was pink, with glitter stuck in the plastic rope. I think it had pompoms coming out of the handles; they made a swishing sound like waves when I turned them in my hands. I liked to jumprope a lot. We jumproped a lot at school, but we had to use actual pieces of rope, which weren't nearly as fun as my rope at home. They didn't make the same tap tap on the ground like mine did, like tap shoes. Plus the ropes were all in varying lengths, and I seemed to always get stuck with one that was too short. I was good at crossovers.

I liked double-dutch. I wanted to be like the girls I saw on "Sesame Street." They were really good at double-dutch, so good they went to competitions. They wore cool beads in their hair. My mom said girls like me didn't wear those kinds of beads in their hair. I didn't know why.

Jumproping was a game to me. It was for fun. Only little girls jumproped, like how only girls play hopscotch. That's just how it was.

So the day I discovered my dad had a jumprope, I realized everything I knew was wrong.

Now I want to jumprope like this guy.

A little off the top

My new love: shortbread cookies with a spot of jam. I grew up imagining they'd be disgusting, like Fig Newtons or those raisin bars that would induce irreversible car sickness on family road trips. Now I can't believe I've been missing out on those my entire life. Kind of like sweet potatoes and yams. I didn't try those until maybe three years ago. Who knew they tasted like candy, given enough butter and sugar. Well, anything does.

Friday marks a turning point for me: I am quitting two days of piano teaching per week and Friday is my last day. I am excited. I have been wanting this day to come for many weeks.

Jeff and I both have two weeks off for Christmas, so we will not be in Houston. Dallas, Austin, I wish New Orleans.

Houston is 76 degrees today.

Christmas is in ten days?! I am not done shopping.

Ten days 'til Christmas means 17 days 'til Paleo. January 1, 2011 Jeff and I will stop consuming certain foods, anything not included in this little ditty.

Meats and veggies,
Nuts and seeds,
Some fruit,
Little starch,
NO SUGAR!

It's part of our quest to attain the bodies and level of fitness we've always yearned for. Also an active fight against hyperinsulinism, and therefore obesity, cancer, diabetes, alzheimer's, and general sickness. We are excited and not-so-excited to give up chocolate milk, our Monday night IceDream cones at Chic Fil-A, bread, cheese, etc., but we will be glad we did once we conquer our addiction to sugar.

I love that man of mine.

It's true: wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.

Well well, how have you been olde blog?

Mr. Ward and I have been having such a nice time lately. Vowing to take more photos of our newlywedded blissful selves, trying to develop good habits like reading important books and eating healthy food, and working really long hours. We leave at 7 am and we're back around 6 or 7 or 7:30 pm depending on the night. We watch Wheel of Fortune while I/he cook/s if we are lucky enough to be home, we surf the Internet, and we get ready for bed and talk for a long time across our pillows. That is my favorite time. I know when he says "Goodnight" he really means "I am going to sleep now," but I just can't help myself. I want to keep talking. He is so snuggly like a bear cub.

We went home to California for Thanksgiving. I wish I had taken pictures (hence the vow). I gave Kimba, my dad's beloved Australian cattle dog and my third sister, a hot dog costume I found on 90% off clearance at Target for $1.29. She looked so cute! No, she didn't like wearing it. Maybe it made her feel too much like my mom's mini dachshund.

Thanksgiving dinner was delicious. Jeff's friend Jordan and his wife Christina came over to my parents. Christina made a lovely chocolate cream pie that Kimba couldn't keep her tongue out of no matter where we put the pie. Mom's turkey came out moist and golden. My stuffing with mushrooms and chestnuts and fennel and La Brea foccacia bread and SAUSAGE and whatever else was excellent (Mom knows how to pick 'em recipes). Our dear friend Ernestine's sweet potato casserole was nothing short of divine, three cubes of butter later. After a summer in Cairo, my jet-setting brother Robert apparently now only drinks Perrier water, which he sipped languidly across the table from me all night, while I tried to keep from laughing. After we watched "The Muppet Christmas Carol" as we always used to do. My favorite Muppet movie, tied with "Muppet Treasure Island."

Yes, it was a delicious feast and I was thankful for it. And mostly thankful for my family who could be there.

As is Ruefenacht tradition, we spent our Friday at the International Auto Show, hosted annually by the Moscone Center smack in downtown San Francisco. The funnest part was the Range Rover 4-wheeling course, set up right within view of the MOMA and other essential SF landmarks. It was so neat! I rode while Katie drove. Mom and Dad were in the Rover in front of us; Jeff closed in the rear. We had a great time! If I hadn't watched all the other people driving on that course, I seriously would not have known how bumpy the course really was--Range Rovers are THAT amazing!

I had a stark realization while I was home--my birthplace--and I championed a yearlong lack of self-discovery. It started as I cleaned out my desk, looking for my expired passport as Jeff and I are going to Costa Rica in March and I need to renew it. My desk is a time capsule of my life. I sifted through old choir mementos, gifts from long gone friends, photos of past loves and friends, poems, unlabeled cassette tape mixes, thrift store finds, all sorts of objects and memories. I'll spare you the drama that happened next when my sister found me sorting through things she thought to be hers (they weren't), and conclude with the results of a psychologically telling conversation she and I had after she had calmed down. I have been home from St. Louis for a year. In that space I've felt disinterested with aspects of myself and my life from before I left. I didn't care as much about thrifting, vinyl, good literature, even music. I realized that I was somewhat depressed, or even repressed, by myself and what I thought I should be.

I'm so glad that surfaced. I feel passion again, for those things that really made me happy before.

I finally bought my dream vintage receiver last week, a Sansui 8080. Pictures and video/sound forthcoming, as soon as we get our new speakers (for Christmas I hope!)

Check out Jeff's blog for photos of where we honeymooned. Mar Vista Cottages--we hope to return to you soon.

I will leave you with Christmas pictures of the grandest "old money" neighborhood in Houston: River Oaks. (Thank you Hipstamatic).

What a nice life I have

I've been a wife for two months. Congrats to me! When I was younger I used to think being married would be so difficult. Being with someone all the time, the same person, seeing them every day, kissing them all the time...

I gotta tell ya, I WAS SO WRONG!

I mean LOOK AT THIS GUY!!!



Being married has been the best decision I ever made. Jeff is my best friend. We laugh so hard at the stupidest things, like this diabetes commercial we keep seeing on TV. Why is it so funny?! I really couldn't tell you why. We have the best time all the time.

Marriage has great mutual benefits, like the power of nagging. I don't mean bad nagging, I mean the nagging your spouse directs at those unsightly habits you have, things that didn't matter when you were single but they do now that you have to live with someone. Nothing gross though. For me, my unsightly habit was drinking too much Diet Coke. I mean probably three or four cans a day. Really, that is gross. It's how I was raised, but still no excuse. Jeff kept nagging me about it: It's bad for you, you need to stop, too much caffeine, blah blah blah. I didn't want to listen.

Long story short, his nagging paid off. In the past (I think) three weeks, I've had only one can of Diet Coke. I am so happy for myself! If you have spent any amount of time with me, you know that I used to have to drink Diet Coke every day, at least once, or I'd go bonkers. And even sometimes when I had one Coke, I'd be crazy until I had another. Jeff was right in saying I had a problem. I really did.

We have this mobile mechanic we use called Big John. He is pretty awesome, and he fixes up the Rat pretty well for a decent price. I was ripped off by a mechanic early on in Houston, so Big John is basically part of the family now. We almost had him over for dinner one night after he had finished installing a new starter on the Rat. Anyway Jeff has this thing he does where we'll be kissing in the kitchen as couples do right when they get home from work, and mid-kiss he'll look up and say, "Oh hey, Big John." It is the strangest thing. Now Big John is always around. One night Jeff was telling me some story, and I wasn't listening and he knew it. So he started rambling on and on and on about this that and the other, for probably three minutes, and the next thing I knew he was saying, "And that's how Big John ended up in our closet."

What?!

I about died laughing. I still am now.

I am having the time of my life.

Suddenly I'm acquiring a bunch of new hobbies, like reading Martha Stewart's magazines and picking out a bunch of crafty projects to try out when I finally wake up from my dream world in which I like crafts. Someday I will be a good housewife and homemaker.

My favorite thing lately is cooking. Dinner last night was an epic fail, but we've had some great successes too. The pot roast I made Sunday melted in our mouths; the ratatouille I made last week has left me wanting more every day since; I've made cookies and a cupcake cake and a chicken/spinach/pasta thingy and, well, that's about it. But I'm working on this whole wife thing.

We are going to Costa Rica in March! It will be my first time abroad since 1999 when I went to England and France.

I am singing more these days, since I'm teaching voice lessons, and I am finally realizing how much I miss singing regularly with a group or as a soloist. I need to get on that.

I also feel like I have nothing to write about. I mean read this post! It is full of junk. Sorry. The end.

Love is Our Answer

Church Responds to HRC Petition

[Insert generic motivational lingo here].

I apologize for my lack of posts. Marriage has made me very busy! But not as busy as work.

As you know I teach music lessons every weekday afternoon/evening. It is going well. I also work full time starting this past Monday at this place with this guy Monday to Friday. My days start very early and end very late and I'm ready to go to bed at a time most old people are eating dinner. Too bad I never get to because I'M STILL WORKING!

Last week my most adoringly lively piano student, who I call Chimmy because her name is long and African and flaunts combinations of consonants this Westerner has never seen, could not play this one dynamic marking. It was an arched line over a phrase of six notes, commonly referred to as a "slur." "What is this line called, Chimmy," I asked. "Do you remember from last week?" She thought, and thought, then she whipped her braids around and thought some more, and finally she said, "It's called a SLUT!!!"

Thank heaven the walls of the piano studio are PAPER THIN and I'm sure everyone else in that place heard her yell that word at the top of her lungs.

Children also notice the strangest things in people. Like Monday, my student said, "Mrs. Ward, your teeth...are...very...(I could tell she couldn't quite find the right words)...very...SHINY."

Wow. They have been called fangs before, but never has anyone commented on my pearlies' gleam. Thank you, young lady.

Also, today was my first day participating in Crossfit, a kick-yo-trash workout regime that has my legs feeling like they went through a meat grinder. BooBoo has been going for two months, and DAAAANG he's lookin' fiiiiine. As the most out-of-shape person there, I'd say I did all right. I just hope I can keep up next time if my shredded-beef legs are repaired.

You know, this is one of the many reasons I LOVE being married so much. For my whole life, I have struggled with overeating, being overweight, and poor body image. I've been surrounded by people with eating disorders and barraged (as we all are) with images of waifer-thin models and movie stars wearing clothes you can't wear if you're a 6.

But being married gives me new motivation. Jeff and I are doing this together, for each other. For good health. I want easy pregnancies and healthy babies. He wants to wear slim jeans and skinny ties (don't you Boo?). We don't want heart disease. We want to say, "Yes kids, let's play WiiTennis for Family Home Evening tonight" and not feel sore the next day. I want to beat my genetically predisposed thunder thighs into a pulp and tell those weird, misshapen body parts, "So long, farewell! See you NEVER!"

So let me hear three cheers to feeling fabulous and having no more muffin top!

It takes two to make a pair.

The big news is that:

JEFF AND I GOT MARRIED!~!~!~!~!~!

So far marriage is really great. Really fun. Really happy. Jeff makes me happy and better and peaceful.

Our apartment looks a lot like this right now,



so tonight for our Family Home Evening we are cleaning the house! Putting away the tons of cool stuff we got. Thank you everyone you are FABULOUS!! Yay Crate and Barrel! I love you. And you too Target!

I would like to praise Heavenly Father for a moment for creating a man like Jeff. He is so good to me and to everyone around him. He works hard and loves other people. He is a true man of God and I am so blessed to have him!

Here's to marriage!



Also, thanks to the incredible MegRuth Photography for all our awesome photos. We couldn't be happier and we've received so many compliments on your photos! Mwah to Megan!

All you single ladies!

This is what I feel like 99 percent of the time.



Yes, dangit! Like a sweaty vampire!

No really, it is so hot here. No deodorant works. Your best anti-perspirant is a/c, if it's working. I spend fifteen to twenty minutes blow-drying my hair into a beautiful, sleek, straight softness, free of frizz, my layers swinging bashfully as I shake my luscious mane...

...Then I step outside the door, walk thirty feet to my car, and by the time I'm there my hair is limp, it's frizzing worse than Miss Frizzle, funky curls I never knew I had have eaten my blow-dry skillz alive, my bangs look like they haven't been washed all summer, my cowlick is rejoicing in its similarity to a quail feather, and even though I've just showered I smell like I haven't.

Houston, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!

And to think, I saw a magazine at Macy's the other day that quoted native Beyonce as loving Houston summers! HA!

Speaking of Beyonce, there is this little four-year-old whippersnapper I've taught piano to a few times. She started talking about boyfriends. I said I have a fiance. She said, "Oh I LOVE Beyonce. 'All you single ladies! All you single ladies!'" WHAT THE WHAT?! I can't wait until my kids are four. Then she got the wiggles really bad, so we danced to Jackson 5 for literally ten seconds so she could "get the wiggles out." Every time I've taught her since, she begs me to let her "get the wiggles out." Geez louise, it's like training a puppy.

Before everything goes right it goes really really wrong.

Yes, it's been almost three weeks since I wrote anything, and yes, I know my wedding is 2.42 weeks away. Phew it's a lot to take in! Lemme tell you why.

I found out last week that my beautiful ivory taffeta wedding gown with a ruffled Queen Anne collar, which was supposed to be here July 31st, is apparently being made in China (who knew we outsourced wedding dresses?) and it won't be shipped until August 20!! To make matters worse, the employees at the shop I bought it from have seemingly absolved themselves and the shop from any responsibility for its lateness. Granted, they can't make those dexterous Chinese hands sew any faster, but I'm pretty sure I bought my dress from them, not Pei Li in Shanghai. I'm just praying my cold black heart out that it will actually get here before the wedding.

Sunday night I was crawling into bed when I get an urgent message from my friend Kristen saying that the girl I was subletting from neglected to inform ANYONE other than herself that she was arriving in Houston that night and "sure hoped I was out of her apartment." Which led to Kristen arriving at said apartment at 11 pm, helping me scoop all my junk into my suitcases, which I still haven't sorted through, and getting me out in time for the most irresponsible and inconsiderate 25-year-old in the world to arrive home for her beauty sleep. I promise I'm not as bitter as I sound.

Today Jeff and I got the set of Wusthof knives we were pining for off our Crate and Barrel registry. Mmmm. Thank you thank you thank you present senders We LoVe YoU aNd So WiLl OuR StOmAcHs WhEn We StArT cOoKiN!!!!

I have been temping at an oil and gas consulting firm. It is pretty sweet. The office manager is way rad; we are basically the same person born seven years apart but I am Mormon and she is not so there are some obvious differences right there but we work it out somehow. RUN ONS!!! "The firm" takes us out to lunch every once in awhile at this great sandwich shop. My favorite is the "Green Gobbler," which consists of a seeded wheat bread, provolone cheese, turkey, apple butter, sprouts, and apple slices. MMM MMM GOOD!!! It is so delicious.

Lately I have had lots of stomachaches. Every day it seems I feel a grumbly down in the tumbly and it just won't quit. It is not nerves. No, I am sure it's not. I just cannot put my finger on why this is. Except that I am on a strict plant-based diet these days, and there's even less tolerance than normal for anything like dairy or grains but ESPECIALLY NO JUNK FOOD!!! Drives me nuts. Anyone have a good natural remedy for an upset stomach?

Even though lots has been going on, and going wrong if you want to look at it that way, I am still very excited to marry my sweet Boo Boo Jeff Ward. That is what I care about most, fancy dress or not.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

34 days is not a long time to wait

I am still so unhappy with this layout but I don't have time to fix it tonight. I'm going to bed.

We got back from Dallas this morning. I am happy to report my father-in-law would have me on his handcart team if we were ever pioneers. Not that we will be, but I think that's a flattering thing.

Texas is still very hot.

I begin temping at some oil and gas company tomorrow. Office work. Nothing major. But I'm grateful for the extra bucks.

Wedding invites came and they look amazing. As does our picture.



I realize it's not for everyone, this style, but I have always loved shooting into the sun and the consequential dreamy effect.

Howdy doody

I just messed around with the layout and I don't like it at all. I will fix it soon, I promise.

Jeffy Boo and I just returned from a great trip to Austin! We checked out UT, where Jeff is considering applying to for grad school. They have a great Masters of Education program. Here's rooting for Jeff!

We went to the State Capitol, drove around a bunch, ate some great food, and overall loved it. I especially loved the ribs at The Salt Lick, apparently, as this photo was one of only two I took the entire trip.



I also took this picture of Jeff as we scaled the rotunda of the State Capitol.



Today we left Austin early and went to Schlitterbahn, the LARGEST WATERPARK IN THE WORLD!!!! We were having a good time until someone stole our sunscreen, and we had to wait in line for two hours for a broken ride that lasted only 45 seconds. Theme parks were not made for adults. What sane person would pay $45 to stand in line over and over again only for a 60-second-or-less thrill? It's worse than the DMV!! Well, this sane person did today, but I doubt I will again anytime soon.

Jeff and I have been all over Texas lately. Tomorrow we're driving up to Dallas for his friend's wedding. As we traverse this great state's terrain, my appreciation and understanding deepens as to why Texans are so notoriously devoted to their state. It is beautiful. Definitively humid, but beautiful. Come down for a visit anytime y'all.

A day of mourning

RIP Little Boy Bowl

45 days

We drove from Texas to Utah. The Suburban had some complications. We put a new battery in it and it was fine. We love Colorado Springs. (I have never fallen in love with a place at the sight. New York took two weeks. Utah took four years. St. Louis my love was for people. Colorado Springs instantly felt like home).

Everything is the same in Utah. It was comforting, but it wasn't home.

We returned to Houston last night. Bittersweet. In Utah you're thirsty all the time because it's so dry. In Houston you're thirsty all the time because you sweat so much. Takes 20 minutes and a thousand stoplights to drive the 5.8 miles to Jeff's. This city is the anomaly of Texas. The rest of this state is pretty great, from what I've seen. But this city is draining. There is no respite from the heat, not outdoors anyway. Not even in the late hours of the night when most places have cooled to a reasonable temperature. The a/c never gets a break.

Weddings cost too much money. Or should I say, classy weddings cost too much money.

Please, if I have not yet asked for your address, e-mail it to me.

Hopes and dreams

Sometimes I think Heavenly Father must really love me for one reason:

When I move to a notoriously, sweltering hot place, He makes it less hot.

My two summers in St. Louis were some of the coolest on record. No major heat waves. Less humidity. I found them overall mild, aside from a few nasty days.

Houston started out so hot I thought I was going to die. Jeff was on the verge of sending me back to Utah, I was such a pain. But the past week has been rainy and cooler. Today it is 75 degrees and raining. It's my favorite weather. I think I would do okay in Seattle or Portland.

Houston has been a blast so far. Tomorrow marks three weeks and I can't believe it. I am teaching piano lessons (subbing and picking up my own schedule at the end of the month). I am looking for jobs, though not as hard as I should. I would really like to start my own business, but I haven't gotten too far. I am planning the wedding and almost done finally.

Jeff is studying for the GRE. I think I would really like a day job, but being able to watch The Price is Right if I want to is very nice. Even though I rarely watch it.

Jeff and I watch Wheel of Fortune, or just "Wheel" as we call it, as often as we remember. We are getting really good. I would like to go on that show and win a trip to Peru for Jeff and also $35,000 cash. It really is anyone's game. I am learning to be a smart letter guesser. When I do go on Wheel I "whanna wheen," as Nacho says.

It rains a lot here. And it floods a lot too. It rains so hard you can't see when you're driving. My wipers don't wipe fast enough.